How to spot STDs?

[Elaya]

I'm surprised I didn't find anything by searching the past forum posts.. I must be using the wrong words..

Anyhow..
Since I don't trust that most people will be right out honest with you...
How can you tell visually if someone has an STD like herpes or Gonorrhea or other such fun "gifts"?

Anyone know of a good education site for this?? Thanks.

 

[SweetErika]

Nope, not unless they have a physical sign of an STI that actually has physical signs. For instance, herpes "flares" usually include some sort of sore/lesion. However, they can be hard to see and while a person is most contagious when they have a flare, they can actually transmit the virus at any time. HPV is the same way - genital warts are a manifestation of certain strains of HPV, but one needn't have any warts to transmit any of the strains (plus, men aren't tested for it, so even if your male partner is tested for everything else, he could have/give you HPV).

The CDC site has a ton of info on STIs, and there are a bunch of other great sites where you can get accurate, easy-to-understand information. Google and see what strikes your fancy.

 

[NightL]

The analogy of "Don't judge a book by it's cover" works and does not work.

If it looks good on the outside it may well be infected on the inside. I'm sure though, if it looks bad on the outside there is no way in hell I'm going there.

So ultimately the question is irrelevant.

If you are totally certain your partner is not having unprotected sex with anyone else, both of you go and get tested. If you both come up clean then wait another six months or more before having unprotected sex and get tested again. At this stage you are closer to knowing if the the relationship is monogamous.

Just remember some STIs/STDs are for life. Some can ultimately take a life.

Even if you take a magnifying glass with you, after you get a punch in the nose you may still have a life time of fun with herpes, HPV and more, along with all the other associated conditions that can be triggered from these.

OK you want pictures...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genital_wart
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genital_herpes
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gonorrhea

...but just remember considerable periods of the infectious stages may well have no visible indicators or even been known to the person who is infected.

One more for you... this one may not present any obvious symptoms in a female until considerable damage has been done to her. "Between half and three-quarters of all women who have a chlamydia infection of the cervix (cervicitis) have no symptoms and do not know that they are infected." Quoted from the following:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chlamydia_infection

I suggest you educate yourself as much as possible and share that information to all who you hold close. Then go and have lots of protected fun.

Communication communication communication and trust. Be educated, be informed, be wise and sensible. Only then decide if you have enough information to trust.

 

[SweetErika]

Great post, NightL.

Trust is a huge part of it because there's really no way to be certain your partner isn't screwing around behind your back. For that reason, I think everyone should be tested regularly, even if they're in a supposedly monogamous, committed LTR.

The other thing people tend to forget is that condoms only help some when it comes to HSV and HPV. Lots of people get these even when they're not having penetrative sex or they use condoms correctly every time - all it takes is skin-to-skin or oral-genital contact in the case of genital herpes. A condom covers the cock, but what if the guy has a sore or tiny wart that's covered by his pubic hair or something? What if someone who gets a cold sore occasionally performs unprotected oral sex on you, or even touches their lip area, then touches your genitals? I recall reading a couple of very poignant posts here years ago from two members who had been infected with genital herpes while they were using condoms with their partners. Those have stuck with me all these years and completely changed my views on safer sex.

 

[amofiga]

Great post, NightL.

Trust is a huge part of it because there's really no way to be certain your partner isn't screwing around behind your back. For that reason, I think everyone should be tested regularly, even if they're in a supposedly monogamous, committed LTR.

The other thing people tend to forget is that condoms only help some when it comes to HSV and HPV. Lots of people get these even when they're not having penetrative sex or they use condoms correctly every time - all it takes is skin-to-skin or oral-genital contact in the case of genital herpes. A condom covers the cock, but what if the guy has a sore or tiny wart that's covered by his pubic hair or something? What if someone who gets a cold sore occasionally performs unprotected oral sex on you, or even touches their lip area, then touches your genitals? I recall reading a couple of very poignant posts here years ago from two members who had been infected with genital herpes while they were using condoms with their partners. Those have stuck with me all these years and completely changed my views on safer sex.

I'm glad you brought up the notion of STD's being spread by oral sex or even mutual masturbation. I once had a women tell me that it wasn't possible to spread herpes-2 (genital herpes) or genital warts by oral sex because the virus wouldn't infect the mouth or mouth lips. Seriously? Is there really a magic difference between mucus membranes and lips? I sometimes cringe when I see videos of women at male strip clubs kissing these guys. They may as well just go right ahead and suck his cock or pull their panties off and get fucked right there on the stage or table. Most STD's can be spread by oral sex or fingering if the conditions are right (or maybe I should say wrong).

 

[subwannabe]

Great advice. All I can say is that if you are basing your sex life on looking for visual signs of STD's you are in a lot of trouble. Nobody even mentioned HIV.

 

[Lord Pmann]

OK you want pictures...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genital_wart
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genital_herpes
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gonorrhea

Feckin' hell man!!!!! Oh my eyes!!! That's brutal. A couple of those cocks just look rotten. I'd chop my cock off so quickly.

My friend from a previous job got herpes from his girlfriend of over a year. They need once saw an outbreak.

Also, you can't really SEE the HIV.

 

[dashd]

Far easier to spot men with VD than women as GC usually presents with urethritis with yellow to green discharge and this is usually present if infected. Syphilis early with white to yellow discharge but later stages of the disease may be missed. Herpes when dormant and in early stages of active cycle also difficult but will develop crusty sores vesicular rash which may be painful. HIV can only be detected thru blood tests and many are either dishonest is infected or just are unaware.

So if you are not willing to take the risk, either lead them to the nearest clinic to be tested, hook them up to polygraph or else keep yourself protected... better yet all three.

 

[Bramblethorn]

So if you are not willing to take the risk, either lead them to the nearest clinic to be tested, hook them up to polygraph or else keep yourself protected... better yet all three.

Relying on a polygraph for protection is probably even less sensible than trying to spot STIs by visual inspection.

 

[Elaya]

Thanks peeps.

I'm in my early 30s, and I feel I've had very little fun for always being afraid of catching something. I'm really.. frustrated at my lack of fun and experience.. I'm not getting any younger... and I want to start playing!! Safety is my main concern.. but I am aware that things can happen despite condoms.

I was just wondering if there was anything visible to look for, and to see what advice came up. I don't want to live in a bubble anymore... Thanks for for all the advice so far...

 

[NightL]

Ultimately just get to know your partner(s) well. Communication... ask them. "Do you have any STIs?" Or better yet "Looks like we are heading down the path of an intimate relationship. Before we have sex I want us both to get tested. Let's go together. I won't have unprotected sex until I know a relationship is solid. That is a future decision." Obviously you both get tested again before that decision is finally made.

Have protected sex. We take risks everyday, but try to minimise the chance of accidents or injury. We wear seatbelts in cars, helmets when riding bikes etc. Communicate and use condoms.

Don't place the responsibility of the condom supply on the male. You buy them and you carry them with you when you believe you may be in a position of having sex. You don't know how old his condoms are or if they have been damaged in a pocket by keys or a pen. Get a condom case so yours don't get damaged in your handbag.

 

[ConfusedAgain]

I just stay away from men who say things like "You look clean", "I'll pull out" and guys that are all about getting and giving oral because it's likely there have been a few STD infested females that came before me.

 

[ConfusedAgain]

Ultimately just get to know your partner(s) well. Communication... ask them. "Do you have any STIs?" Or better yet "Looks like we are heading down the path of an intimate relationship. Before we have sex I want us both to get tested. Let's go together. I won't have unprotected sex until I know a relationship is solid. That is a future decision." Obviously you both get tested again before that decision is finally made.
[/IMG]

That seems like something you'd say to someone you were dating though, not to random people you want to meet online for sex. I'd still want protected sex even if they were "tested".

 

[SweetErika]

That seems like something you'd say to someone you were dating though, not to random people you want to meet online for sex. I'd still want protected sex even if they were "tested".

I think it's both. There's nothing wrong with asking a casual partner about their sexual history, health, testing history/routine, views and practices WRT safer sex, etc. In fact, it's really wise to do so because even though we can't rely on testing in any way, the answers to those questions (and way a person answers them) can be very revealing about other aspects of a person as well.

Elaya said she's looking for a FWB with just as much emphasis on the friend part in her other thread. She may not be interested in such a relationship with someone who behaves irresponsibly WRT to sex because they may also behave irresponsibly in the friendship as well.

 

[roamingpisces79]

Do a google search for HPV. Over 100 strains. A couple can cause warts, and a couple can cause cervical cancer in women, penile cancer in men, and anal cancer in both. Guardacil vaccine only covers a couple strains. No signs or symptoms exist in men unless it is one that causes warts. It can be spread even with condom use, and most often orally. For example, Jane gives random dude a bj in college who unknowingly carries a strain of HPV. Any amount of time later, Jane dates Joe monogamously, and has a great sex life with him, and only has protected sex with him, but lots of mutual oral. The relationship falls apart, and Joe moves on and marries Jill sometime thereafter. 10 years and two kids later, Jill has an abnormal pap smear. Turns out she has HPV and possibly cancer of the cervix... due to Jill's bj. Scary shit to think about that does happen daily. Over 80% of sexually active people carry at least one strain of HPV. Any woman that has had an abnormal pap smear, the odds are 99% it is because of some strain of HPV. Having worked at a hospital makes me want to stick my dick in Clorox just for thinking about some of the things people fantasize about on here (not to say I don't thoroughly enjoy some of those fantasies ). You take a risk no matter what, and no matter with whom you fuck or what their tests say. Unless you're a virgin having sex with another virgin, and neither of you have kissed or gone down on anyone else, are you safe. But the bucket of Clorox might be less of a pain than that .

 

[intriguedwriter]

You can't, which is why it is good to get to know someone before getting into bed with them, using protection and asking about history.

If they appear to have a cavalier attitude about any of it, then it is probably better to find someone else...

 

[onecrazydiamond]

Do a google search for HPV. Over 100 strains. A couple can cause warts, and a couple can cause cervical cancer in women, penile cancer in men, and anal cancer in both. Guardacil vaccine only covers a couple strains. No signs or symptoms exist in men unless it is one that causes warts. It can be spread even with condom use, and most often orally. For example, Jane gives random dude a bj in college who unknowingly carries a strain of HPV. Any amount of time later, Jane dates Joe monogamously, and has a great sex life with him, and only has protected sex with him, but lots of mutual oral. The relationship falls apart, and Joe moves on and marries Jill sometime thereafter. 10 years and two kids later, Jill has an abnormal pap smear. Turns out she has HPV and possibly cancer of the cervix... due to Jill's bj. Scary shit to think about that does happen daily. Over 80% of sexually active people carry at least one strain of HPV. Any woman that has had an abnormal pap smear, the odds are 99% it is because of some strain of HPV. Having worked at a hospital makes me want to stick my dick in Clorox just for thinking about some of the things people fantasize about on here (not to say I don't thoroughly enjoy some of those fantasies ). You take a risk no matter what, and no matter with whom you fuck or what their tests say. Unless you're a virgin having sex with another virgin, and neither of you have kissed or gone down on anyone else, are you safe. But the bucket of Clorox might be less of a pain than that .

Holy cow...those facts are scary. Really ?? A HUNDRED strains of HPV ??? 80 percent of people have at least one strain ??//

Where did you get these stats ?

HOW do people be swingers or fuck around with a lot of partners and NOT get something? It never makes sense to me.

 

[Noor]

Best way is blood tests, cage them immediately after the blood is drawn, if its clean keep them caged a good 6 months or so, do second blood tests and then if clean have sex. Of course you will need to keep them caged to make sure they stay that way...*

There is no way to spot STDs, although long term syphilis leaves open sores, you can use condoms but herpes can spread anyway. Trust... no way to know about that either.

*lock them in a cage or chastity belt or something. not being serious here guys, unless that is both your kink.

 

[Noor]

I just stay away from men who say things like "You look clean", "I'll pull out" and guys that are all about getting and giving oral because it's likely there have been a few STD infested females that came before me.

I know someone who ended up with a bad case of herpes from oral, was hospitalized for a couple weeks.

 

[Noor]

I know I am weird but I have never not used a condom for intercourse, and they aren't even 100% safe.

 

[onecrazydiamond]

Best way is blood tests, cage them immediately after the blood is drawn, if its clean keep them caged a good 6 months or so, do second blood tests and then if clean have sex. Of course you will need to keep them caged to make sure they stay that way...

There is no way to spot STDs, although long term syphilis leaves open sores, you can use condoms but herpes can spread anyway. Trust... no way to know about that either.

Sorry, what does "cage them" mean exactly ? Cage what ?

 

[Noor]

Sorry, what does "cage them" mean exactly ? Cage what ?

I wasn't being serious but I meant lock them in a cage or chastity belt or something. I will edit.

 

[Noor]

Holy cow...those facts are scary. Really ?? A HUNDRED strains of HPV ??? 80 percent of people have at least one strain ??//

Where did you get these stats ?

HOW do people be swingers or fuck around with a lot of partners and NOT get something? It never makes sense to me.

If 25% percentage of Americans have known genital herpes and 80% have known oral herpes then I would assume a good portion of them already have something.

 

[onecrazydiamond]

If 25% percentage of Americans have known genital herpes and 80% have known oral herpes then I would assume a good portion of them already have something.

You'd never know anybody has any std by reading this site. I think I see maybe a couple of posts a year here where anyone admits to having anything or possibly coming into contact with acquiring an std.

Yet I hear of people fucking everyone's brains out all the time, here and there, throughout their adult life, and not a word about std's.

How much of what is said in this forum resembles reality? Not too sure about that sometimes...

 

[Noor]

You'd never know anybody has any std by reading this site. I think I see maybe a couple of posts a year here where anyone admits to having anything or possibly coming into contact with acquiring an std.

Yet I hear of people fucking everyone's brains out all the time, here and there, throughout their adult life, and not a word about std's.

How much of what is said in this forum resembles reality? Not too sure about that sometimes...

I maybe had chlamydia in my 20's, tests were not good then and I got repeat yeast infections I swear came from men but so far I haven't had any STDs, or even cold sores. However several of my friends have had STDs, have HPV and/or herpes.
The university I went to required VDRL tests prior to registering for the first term. My pediatrician didn't even have such tests and I had to go to a public health clinic for it.
There was Hep in some of the ponds in the area and we were warned not to go in them. There was sex, drugs and rock and roll all over the place at the time, lots of sharing, groups and no STDs among those I knew at that point.
My reality is showers, condoms, peeing before and after sex (during if that is wanted), nothing that causes me to bleed, and no unknown partners.

Maybe I will set up a poll about STDS and see what people admit to in a closed poll...