How to: Make a Good Impression Online

[Theking66]

Alright, so it has bugged me for a long time on LIT (On the forums, and also on the chat), that so many people (guys AND girls) don't care about giving a good impression of themselves. Now this is less prevalent on the forums but still around.

I was just wondering what all of you think about this, and advice to those needy many on HOW to not make an ass of themselves online. Just one line or so would do.

I'll start:

Learn how to read and comprehend profiles...

 

[NomadLady]

Alright, so it has bugged me for a long time on LIT (On the forums, and also on the chat), that so many people (guys AND girls) don't care about giving a good impression of themselves. Now this is less prevalent on the forums but still around.

I was just wondering what all of you think about this, and advice to those needy many on HOW to not make an ass of themselves online. Just one line or so would do.

I'll start:

Learn how to read and comprehend profiles...

Fill out your profile more completely if you want to interact with people via private messages....pictures help was well. I don't enjoy wondering if I am getting a pm from a male or female and sometimes a screen name just isn't enough.

 

[NeverWinterNite]

Also when you PM someone, mention something that you find interesting about them. For example, a comment they made on a thread that you agreed with.

 

[Christopher2012]

Okay what she said...

And this topic is a big deal to me. I don't particularly care anymore since I hardly ever hang around here much...

However!

I'm sick of seeing the same stupid crap over and over. You see guys just try to pick up everything labeled a female here. No picture, no name needed... just sign on the dotted line that you're a female and he's 100% committed to talk with you. Hell, I bet I could say I'm a female with my profile and I'd probably get a few PMs.

My number one tip is to stay away from the "describe the person above you" and "would you fuck the person above you" threads. Hell, stay away from the Playground in general. Those posts are absolutely meaningless and yeah...

Just stick to having conversations that you can actually contribute to. And if you want to have fun with it, make a rule that you will NEVER PM a woman. Newsflash: You're no different than any other guy. Your compliments about how gorgeous she is in that pic has already been said 100-1,000 times already, I promise.

Done ranting. I'm probably going to get heat, but I don't care. If you want to play the game, you're welcome to see failure in your attempts.

 

[NippleMuncher]

It all boils down to grace and manners, some people have them, some don't.

I can only speak of the HT forum, as it's the only one I participate on, and for the most part all of the regulars here are trying to help those asking the questions. We do get the occasional troll that is only looking to stir up trouble, and the occasional regular from other areas of the site that come to troll as well.

The rule to live by, if you don't have something nice to say, don't say it.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Also when you PM someone, mention something that you find interesting about them. For example, a comment they made on a thread that you agreed with.

Further to this:

Comment on which specific one. A generic "I liked what you said in that post in that thread" just tells us that you're messaging the same thing to 100 girls and hoping something sticks.

 

[silverwhisper]

how to make a good impression online:

1. behave according to how you want to be treated.
2. when someone says something potentially objectionable, verify before letting loose. sometimes, people just have brain farts.
3. be genuine. if sometimes you're an asshat, well, sometimes you're a rectal accessory. we'll all get over it.

ed

 

[viper2000]

"when someone says something potentially objectionable, verify before letting loose. sometimes, people just have brain farts."

This one is very important it`s hard to write the way we all speak or more how we say things so comment above I think is a good one to live by.

 

[spunkyE]

I agree with a lot of the ones said:

have your profile filled out.

say something picked out of their profile to comment on. the ones that get me usually have something to do with hockey or one of my other interestes i have listed.

if they have stories read them and comment on them.

if you take it farther into a cybering relationship don't let it be one sided. i hate when i put alot of effort into naughty emails and they dont' ever respond but keep coming back for more cybering. i have needs too. it shouldnt' all be one sided.

be truthful above all else.

 

[Que]

Learn how to read and comprehend profiles...

A caveat:

If your profile iscrammedfullofrandomthingsthatareimportanttoyoulistedinnoparticularorderdon'texpecteveryone whoreadsitand givesyouthecourtesyof aresponseoramessageaboutONEthingthatpeakedtheirinteresttohavememorizedyourwholelistofturnonsturnoffs..

I mean, in a bar meeting someone, a sometimes encountered co-worker, that budding flirt with a local waitress... you talk, you exchange, you listen, you learn you meet.

Some things you process right away, somethings you filter out until the context of knowing a person helps you to see why things are important to someone.

I can't remember the details, but I had in my own inimitable way droned on in a long pm full of relevant content specific to that poster's several posts. Clearly showing that I had taken the time to try to 'get' them.

Not everyone that peaks ones interest on one level is infinitely compatible...

The response I got back was to the effect, You OBVIOUSLY didn't read my profile, for I am ONLY looking for LEFT-handed hermaphrodites!

If someone at least references SOME detail from your profile, assume they browsed it and made an effort. DOn't expect them to have become as well versed in "YOU" as your personal biographer. Sheesh!

I mean hell, why not ignore me as opposed to lecture me?

 

[sunandshadow]

I don't really understand why I'd want to try to make a good impression online. I'm naturally a rather nice and polite person, but one of the reasons I think the internet is great is because I don't have to worry as much about what people think because I'm probably never going to meet anyone from the internet in real life. Looking for a mate online strikes me as so vanishingly unlikely to be not worth attempting. I'm just here to have some conversation.

 

[Theking66]

True sun, but to me its not even about meeting a mate. It is just about common respect. Like you dont (or at least I hope so) flick off people as you walk down the street, because it is common courtesy to be nice. I do not think that it is any different online.

 

[silverwhisper]

sunandshadow quoth:
one of the reasons i think the internet is great is because i don't have to worry as much about what people think because i'm probably never going to meet anyone from the internet in real life.

in that case, fuck off and die in horrible, lasting agony.



obviously, i don't actually mean that, but that's why it matters. because after a while, you get to know someone. and you've been around long enough to see your share of flame wars. they're a waste of everyone's time. frankly, my time's too precious to bother with that shit.

ed

 

[NippleMuncher]

*trout smack's silverwhisper*

 

[littlebabyclit]

Making A Good Impression Online

This is a great topic.

Just about all of the above suggestion are great. I really agree with filling out your online profiles at websites. But hey, if you don't do it, or do it poorly, be aware that it may represent you as someone with no imagination, limited skills or literacy, and that you're uninteresting in general. It can even come across as inconsiderate. Do you really think someone else is going to take the time (or should take the time) to have to dig through your back posts to find out all about you ? Kind of arrogant, isn't it?

I would also like to add one thing that hasn't been said.

To make a good impression online, DON'T treat online-only friendships or relationships as completely back seat in priority or insignificant in comparison to offline (i.e. "real world") relationships. DO treat people associated with online with the same courtesy, respect, manners and finesse that you'd treat people with offline. That includes not ignoring people indefinitely at the drop of a hat without explanation when offline concerns grab your attention for a while. DON'T expect someone to keep interest in you or treat you with respect if you forget to display manners and courtesy but expect to come back (whenever that is) after you've been abrupt or rude and then just pick things up where they left off like nothing happened. A good guideline to think about is: would I treat someone like this offline ? Would it fly if I did ?

If you know people, whether online or offline, they shouldn't be treated any differently with manners, courtesy, friendliness or finesse. But people sometimes treat online friends as people they can "get around to" when it's convenient or just when they want something from you. Uh uh. Not cool. And I'm not talking about the kind of people who treat everyone that way. What I'm saying is there are clearly people who differentiate between how people online and offline should be treated. A few of these people are the "trolls" you see that just post online to fuck with people's heads because they have no regard for the feelings of strangers. The others? Maybe they are decent people who just need a reminder sometimes how to act.

 

[juvare]

The reason it is so prevalent is because a lot of people don't care about the impression they give on line. These people aren't around to make personal or real connections. No amount of advice is going to change that.

It's only people that are desirous (and sometimes desperate) of true connections that care and they are the ones who are already going out of their way to make a decent impression or at least an accurate one.

I wouldn't suggest that anyone change who they are to make a good impression and connect with others. The people who make real connections are the people who are real, regardless of medium. Good, bad, ugly, hateful, negative, caring, empathetic, generous, etc. Going out of one's way to make a particular impression, to me, is disingenuous. Be you, warts and all.

 

[littlebabyclit]

The reason it is so prevalent is because a lot of people don't care about the impression they give on line. These people aren't around to make personal or real connections. No amount of advice is going to change that.

It's only people that are desirous (and sometimes desperate) of true connections that care and they are the ones who are already going out of their way to make a decent impression or at least an accurate one.

I wouldn't suggest that anyone change who they are to make a good impression and connect with others. The people who make real connections are the people who are real, regardless of medium. Good, bad, ugly, hateful, negative, caring, empathetic, generous, etc. Going out of one's way to make a particular impression, to me, is disingenuous. Be you, warts and all.

You're right... ideally, no one should go "out of their way" to create an impression of themselves that doesn't reflect who they really are. However, sometimes people are unaware how their actions are coming across and it's a wake up call to learn that something done perhaps unintentionally is giving a bad impression. There's always room for improvement, for everyone. First impressions do count for a lot with many people and that's why it's important to get a clue about how you're being perceived by others.

On the other hand...your opinions are actually pretty dead on, generally speaking, and I'd have to agree with you as well.

 

[Firebrain]

Okay what she said...

And this topic is a big deal to me. I don't particularly care anymore since I hardly ever hang around here much...

However!

I'm sick of seeing the same stupid crap over and over. You see guys just try to pick up everything labeled a female here. No picture, no name needed... just sign on the dotted line that you're a female and he's 100% committed to talk with you. Hell, I bet I could say I'm a female with my profile and I'd probably get a few PMs.

My number one tip is to stay away from the "describe the person above you" and "would you fuck the person above you" threads. Hell, stay away from the Playground in general. Those posts are absolutely meaningless and yeah...

Just stick to having conversations that you can actually contribute to. And if you want to have fun with it, make a rule that you will NEVER PM a woman. Newsflash: You're no different than any other guy. Your compliments about how gorgeous she is in that pic has already been said 100-1,000 times already, I promise.

Done ranting. I'm probably going to get heat, but I don't care. If you want to play the game, you're welcome to see failure in your attempts.

Because a judgemental man is such a turn on

 

[Primalex]

The reason it is so prevalent is because a lot of people don't care about the impression they give on line. These people aren't around to make personal or real connections. No amount of advice is going to change that.

It's only people that are desirous (and sometimes desperate) of true connections that care and they are the ones who are already going out of their way to make a decent impression or at least an accurate one.

Hmm.

I can agree with the part that there are lot of people who don't care about the impressions they give online.

But reviewing my pm box, I can't see that people who are looking for "true connections", would care more about the impressions they make - although you would expect this. It really seems to be more about the kind of person than his or her goal. So what you state is more coincidence than correlation.

I think the reason for the difference is that men face a "competition" in the online world - there are so many that men are more or less forced to make a good impression (of course, some just use the spam mail method - send 100 million mails, then a 0.00001% chance works, too). Women again are used to just mention that they are female to receive plenty of attention. This is why they don't need to care about other details.

 

[ClassyGirl]

I don't respond to most guys who PM me unless they say something interesting about my profile, ask me a question they had about me (after reading my posts and looking at my profile), or comment on my story. 99% of the time.