PowerOfOne
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 30, 2001
- Posts
- 918
- Mess Test
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick
behind the couch and leave it there all summer.
- Toy Test
Obtain a 55 gallon box of Legos (you may substitute roofing
tacks if you wish). Have a friend spread them all over the house.
Put on blindfold and take off shoes. Try to walk to the bathroom or
kitchen. Do not scream because this would wake a child at night.
- Grocery Store Test
Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them
with
you as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything
they
eat or damage.
- Dressing Test
Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net
bag
making sure that all the arms stay inside.
- Feeding Test
Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water.
Suspend from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to
insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while
pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the
floor.
- Night Test
Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12
pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:00pm, begin to waltz
and hum with the bag until 9:00pm. Lay down your bag and set your
alarm for 10:00pm. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you
have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until
4:00am. Set alarm for 5:00am. Get up and make breakfast. Keep
this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.
- Ingenuity Test
Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint,
turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn it
into an attractive Christmas candle. Use only scotch tape and a piece
of foil. Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty
box of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.
- Automobile Test
Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a chocolate ice
cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a
dime. Stick it into the CD player. Take a family-size package of
chocolate chip cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Run a rake along
both side of the car. There, perfect!
- Physical Test (Women)
Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your
clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Then remove the beans. And
try not to notice your closet full of clothes. You won't be wearing
them for a while.
- Physical Test (Men)
Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter.
Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go
to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly
deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read
it quietly for the last time.
- Final Assignment
Find a couple who already has a small child. Lecture them on how
they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, and toilet
training and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can
improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their
children to run wild. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last
time you will have all the answers
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick
behind the couch and leave it there all summer.
- Toy Test
Obtain a 55 gallon box of Legos (you may substitute roofing
tacks if you wish). Have a friend spread them all over the house.
Put on blindfold and take off shoes. Try to walk to the bathroom or
kitchen. Do not scream because this would wake a child at night.
- Grocery Store Test
Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them
with
you as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything
they
eat or damage.
- Dressing Test
Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net
bag
making sure that all the arms stay inside.
- Feeding Test
Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water.
Suspend from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to
insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while
pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the
floor.
- Night Test
Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12
pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:00pm, begin to waltz
and hum with the bag until 9:00pm. Lay down your bag and set your
alarm for 10:00pm. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you
have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until
4:00am. Set alarm for 5:00am. Get up and make breakfast. Keep
this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.
- Ingenuity Test
Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint,
turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn it
into an attractive Christmas candle. Use only scotch tape and a piece
of foil. Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty
box of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.
- Automobile Test
Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a chocolate ice
cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a
dime. Stick it into the CD player. Take a family-size package of
chocolate chip cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Run a rake along
both side of the car. There, perfect!
- Physical Test (Women)
Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your
clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Then remove the beans. And
try not to notice your closet full of clothes. You won't be wearing
them for a while.
- Physical Test (Men)
Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter.
Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go
to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly
deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read
it quietly for the last time.
- Final Assignment
Find a couple who already has a small child. Lecture them on how
they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, and toilet
training and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can
improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their
children to run wild. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last
time you will have all the answers
