How to give GF an orgasm/ clitoral adhesion

[Nesh1972]

Need some help, my girlfriend really struggles to orgasm. While she loves me going down on her reaching orgasm has never happened.
She says she has always been like this and has only ever had one guy make her come. She says this is probably because she had no expectations as she wasn't even really attracted to him. With me she wants it so much it's like she is putting a lot of pressure on herself.
She has told me that up to now her sex life has been terrible, her ex husband who she was with for years wasn't interested in sex and previous partners were just selfish.
She feels like she is getting close sometimes but its like there is something holding her back.

One other thing. I noticed I can't see her clit. I have read about clitoral adhesion where the clit doesn't come out from under the hood, so has anyone any experience of this.

Thanks

 

[Jada59]

I doubt that it's a clitoral adhesion. And even if it is, it is easy to treat. Good hygiene helps. These can occur when there is a build up of smegma. Try taking a shower with her. Use a hand held shower massager if you have one. If not, then a washcloth and gently wash her there, making sure to rinse off any soap or body wash well.

If it is a bad adhesion, she will have swelling and pain and this can usually be treated with a prescription steroid cream.

It's more likely that her clit is just small. And I read somewhere that the smaller the clit, the more nerve endings it has.

But... You know what? The good thing is that not all women respond well to clitoral stimulation. I can be one of them. I say "can be" because I really prefer some other type of stimulation and/or additional stimulation.

I have said before that I was with one guy who could make me cum from giving me oral but he only ever did it after intercourse and only after I'd had at least one orgasm. If a guy licks lightly or barely touches my clit, that isn't going to do much for me. I need something more rough.

Does she get very wet? If not, use some lubricant. I prefer coconut oil but it's not supposed to be used with latex condoms or some toys. I hate lubes that are sticky. I do have one that I like. Let me look up the name of it. PALOQUETH is the name. It's water based so safe with everything. It's very slippery so be sure to use only a tiny bit.

Does she like nipple/breast stimulation? If so, try that and also use your fingers between her legs. Try pulling on her lips and once she is very aroused, inserting a finger or two. Work up to three or four fingers if they'll fit. Sort of curl them towards her mound and press there as you work them in and out. Feel for a swelling. That's her G Spot and the underside of her clit. That will get me every time. Now not all women will react to this but if she does, press your fingers in hard and squeeze like you are juicing an orange. The orgasms will really be intense.

Also, get one of these:

https://www.amazon.com/Crystal-Glas...9571776&sr=1-1&keywords=Crystal+Pleasure+Wand

She'll be glad you did! Heck, for that price, I'll get another. I think they were $8.99 when I got mine. Experiment with it. I like mine to be warm. Some people prefer cold. Something about that slick glass sliding around just drives me wild. And feeling the head of that going over my clit WILL cause me to orgasm. Often I will be using it in various ways and have countless orgasms then feel the need to have just one more orgasm by rubbing that over my clit. Another favorite thing is to rub just the head back and forth at the opening to my pussy. I don't even have to insert it. I'll just start squirming and moaning. Oh so good!

One last thing. Anal. Have you tried anal stimulation? I love that too.

I think I am lucky. I cum easily. Very easily and quickly. So much so that sometimes the guy will think I am faking it. But I'm not. I never fake it.

You might also try talking dirty to her or getting her to give you feedback. This may or may not work. Some people are very uptight when it comes to sex.

The key here is getting her to relax and not to focus on the orgasm. Focus on the good feelings and then maybe she'll have an orgasm when she least expects it. When people put pressure on themselves, things don't always go well.

 

[Nesh1972]

Thanks for the reply but yes we have tried just about everything. She is always clean below. We talk dirty, she gets very wet, loves having her nipples sucked while I use my fingers, which she loves and it makes her squirt and we have tried anal stimulation too, even bought a few toys recently. We are thinking its more psychological.

 

[Jada59]

Thanks for the reply but yes we have tried just about everything. She is always clean below. We talk dirty, she gets very wet, loves having her nipples sucked while I use my fingers, which she loves and it makes her squirt and we have tried anal stimulation too, even bought a few toys recently. We are thinking its more psychological.

Wait! So... She is squirting but not having an orgasm? I always have one when I squirt.

 

[Nesh1972]

Yes she definitely squirts when I finger her hard and she loves it, just not having an orgasm.

 

[Jada59]

Yes she definitely squirts when I finger her hard and she loves it, just not having an orgasm.

Wow. Sorry.

 

[Jada59]

I'm bumping this for ya because I'm hoping someone else can shed some light on this. I can't understand how someone can squirt but not orgasm.

 

[SparklzPink]

I have a hard time orgasming sometimes.

If I’m with someone new.
If there’s a lot of distractions.
If I’m having a hard time orgasming.
If my hormone cycle isn’t in the right place at the right time.
I haven’t eaten all day.
I’m too tired.
I’m not relaxed enough.
I’m too relaxed.
Alcohol.
I am feeling self conscious.
The position I’m in is uncomfortable.
Just because.

My clit is too sensitive to be rubbed/sucked directly. I do better having the attention focused *just* below. I like having my nipples played with.

I am finally with someone who I am relaxed enough with that i can cum rather easily, but I still have off days. I’ve been playing with others, and even took part of a threesome, and have found myself having issues again...even though he was part of the threesome. As turned on as I was and having all of the fun ever, I find myself getting frustrated that I’m all thrown off... which throws it off more. For me, it’s almost always mental in one way or another. Set aside time so you’re not rushing to squish playtime in. I know if my brain is wandering thinking about if I’m hungry/thirsty, too hot/cold, tired, upset about something, there’s other responsibilities I’m not taking care of and feel guilty about, etc - then it’s just not going to happen. For a long time, I couldn’t orgasm with out a ton of nipple play. I still have a hard time orgasming if I’m not laying on my back - it feels great, but just not the same in other positions. Sometimes I read stories, use toys, watch porn with him, etc. for me though, if I use toys too often, it desensitizes things or makes it too sensitive and it sets me back further next time. We also have a set routine and schedule to get in the mind set. Usually we do stuff in the morning, before bed, or during a “nap”. He has a pretty set routine for getting ready for bed/a nap, so it has created a trigger for me to know that we are probably going to do things. A set smell helps. He uses tea tree oil on his nipple piercings and I have come to associate the smell with cuddling with him... and cuddling leads to other things. Lol. Anyways- stay calm and encouraging, keep her relaxed, and don’t force it if it’s not happing withine a reasonable amount of playtime. I promise she’s probably frustrated and self conscious about it - but talk to her during. Talking to my partner and teaching him what *I* do when I play alone helped a lot to guide him in finding what worked for me.

 

[Nezhul]

Orgasm is in her head. I suggest several things:
1) Pay attention to foreplay. Start setting it up early by touches or romantic words. Maybe give her a relaxing massage or something. Foreplay is not all done in bed.

2) She could really use some kind of professional advice. She should maybe see some kind of doctor because it MAY be fixed through those means.

3) If she's shy about seeing a person, there are a lot of self-help on the internet, from articles to hypnosis sessions.

4) If she doesn't come, maybe you are doing it wrong? Some women can't get off on clit stimulation, because it's either too sensitive, distracting or they need some other feelings like penetration or G-spot stimulation.
You should have an honest discussion that you would like to figure her out. Spend some time not fucking, but really getting into understanding what feels best for her.

 

[Nesh1972]

Thanks for the replies.
We do think it's more psychological and are looking at hypnotherapy x

 

[twister947]

Most clits are reclusive little things...the clits that stand out and are easily seen are the exceptions. You may need to adjust your expectations.

 

[a75]

Just one question: Can she orgasm from masturbation?

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Have you tried finding her G-spot and gently massaging it with one or two fingers? The first time I found my wife's, she went wild. After awhile it too became sensitive and I had to stop.

 

[Que]

To the OP: the frame of your question is wrong and it's important that you and she both get that frame corrected. You can't give her one only she can give her one. They're triggered in the brain and it's only going to happen from the brain. It is difficult to do though once you're thinking about it.

It's kind of the same idea as triggering off a firearm you almost want to be surprised at where that trigger breakpoint is. You don't want to be concentrating too hard on it or it is going to be elusive. Enjoy the journey let it happen when it happens.

Just one question: Can she orgasm from masturbation?

Good, relevant question.

Have you tried finding her G-spot and gently massaging it with one or two fingers? The first time I found my wife's, she went wild. After awhile it too became sensitive and I had to stop.

Also good question. I assumed that if she was squirting that that was due to his stimulation but perhaps she is able to do that more or less on her own with external stimulation in which case internal would be a great idea.

 

[MrJoshua45]

Seduce her mind then the rest will follow

Thanks for the replies.
We do think it's more psychological and are looking at hypnotherapy x

First i am by no means some love guru who has all the answers, and the fact that i am 45 years old does not mean i have made love to 100 women, i would say its under 20, but i am talking about sex here, and i think the trouble you and the woman who makes your heart beat on top of each other (Very painful and i love that feeling) is the fact that when you and her decide to make love or have sex, do you have a time of the day you prefer og some days are better then others.

Well Sex is great and i would not miss it, but Sex is not the same as making love to a woman, sex is please excuse my rudeness if i offend anyone, that is not my intent

But sex is 30-60 mins of pure lust and desire nothing else no tenderness no foreplay, its just a way of relief when your love says, i am so horny, and as a guy we need no further explanation, and i normally rip her clothes of her body before you can say foreplay?, no sex is not about foreplay its pure desire for the body next to you, and most will agree it can be rough, and bite marks are not uncommon, i won't show you my neck-scars but when i have her orgasm 2 times within a short time she will draw blood and seems my neck or the biting turns her on, i do ofc not mind because i am also having an orgasm, at the same time, and i never notice the pain until she kisses me and says thank you my lover i needed that and sorry for the bites, well i love her love bites, but does she need to bite the exact same place every time, and as for male endurance a man orgasm takes 3 sec a females will take around 30 sec so do not leve the trenches before the job is done stay put, she will tell you very quickly when to stop so do not overdue it, move to a new location, i like and she likes it very much when i kiss her neck, and don't be shy licking her neck is not disgusting, so kiss her neck gently until she starts to breath hard that means you can proceed.
Kiss her neck softly then lick her neck with your tongue upwards towards her ear, and let me say at once sticking your tongue in her ear is not disgusting, or something see does not like, in fact you will find most women "REALLY" enjoy if you put your mouth over her ear and bite gently or play with it using your tongue, don't use to much spit no one like a wet ear but playing with her ear and letting your tongue explorer her ear will drive her mad, because of 2 things
1. you are telling her by licking her ear that you love her and do not think its disgusting, to play or taste her ear, and in fact most men enjoy it as well i always thought it was disgusting, and would taste bad well when a women started playing with my ear then sticking her tongue in my ear, well then we had sex i mean that drove me insane the feeling was strange at first, but not for long and we had pure sex and when i tried my luck on her ear well her words were no come to think about it i will not write what she said but they were short and to the point, and we were exhausted after 30 mins of intense sex and she fell asleep naked on my chest, when i woke the next morning i had a feeling i could not describe i looked at this woman she was still laying on my chest on the same spot she had not moved, but the strange feeling i could not figure out came when i looked at her arms, she had them around my body, and it gave me a feeling i could not at first understand, the feeling was the feeling you have when someone loves you completely, and she loves you with her body and soul, i felt loved and i have never been so happy since we did not stay together, she was studying to become a nurse, and i wanted more then just Sex i wanted a relationship, so we parted, and as some might have guessed she is young but not that young and i am in my forty's but, we parted in friendship and i see her from time to time and when out eyes meet she smiles and i get a warm feeling inside and also just want to rip her clothes of and well no need to explain what i want, and she can see it because she will smile very seductive but we decided that we should not have a relation ship were we just f... what a mistake that was i mean how can she drive me so crazy i am 45 years old she should not be able to make my desire for her burn to the point where i just want to have sex with her, but she does, and she knows it.
The point of my long story is, that we are not porn actors and men do not have the stamina to keep going without a break, so stop trying to keep going it will only end with pain, and with that said i will also try to remember that and use your mouth tongue lips or fingers, and kiss her all the time it stimulates her mind and desires more then you realize and every love making or Sex does not have to be about your penis inside her or even your orgasm, you need to seduce her mind and kissing licking her neck or ears will fill her desire and your bonding, i enjoy foreplay a lot i enjoy watching her body tremble or her naughty look when i strike gold.
And be spontaneous and practice makes a champ, so practice a lot

As i said i am not a love guru so i do not have all the answers but i like foreplay as much as sex or love making it gives me a chance to show her how tender i can be and when her small hairs on the back of her head stand up when i gently caress her body, or if she says that my kissing her and sucking her tongue gets her wet, it excites me, as much as her.
Thank you

 

[Bigspurt]

I “Heart” Female Orgasm

This a book that I found in a tote bag of other things that belong to my wife. I have thumbed through it a little but I plan to not only ask her about it but I also plan to use it to spice things up as we have a “hotel” weekend coming up. Pardon the pun.