How to get her going?

[youngandshy]

my wife and I rarely have sex. she's largely just disinterested. I'm not worried about her cheating or anything...she's just not that into it right now for some reason. Been going on for a cpl of months.

I've stepped up the romance a bit more lately, and it's yielded slightly positive results...but gotta know what you guys do to get your girls going, and ladies, what helps you get in the mood?

 

[NippleMuncher]

Shifts in mood and routine can be indicative of self-image issues, depression or stress. Health issues and medications can also a change in libido of both men and women.

I would first recommend an honest conversation with your wife to inquire about her mood and health. Together you may be able to find a resolution, even if it's seeking medical or professional help.

Good luck

 

[Eilan]

I've stepped up the romance a bit more lately, and it's yielded slightly positive results...

Maybe your wife would also like it a little better if you step it up WRT housework or child-rearing (if you have children). As someone who was a lot like your wife during my first marriage, I'd be willing to bet that whatever is going on in the bedroom has a lot more to do with what's going on (or not) outside of it.

I would first recommend an honest conversation with your wife to inquire about her mood and health.

This. No one on this forum can tell you what your wife is thinking.

 

[goodlife3738]

The thing that gets me going the most, is knowing i can tell my husband anything.

Communication is the key here. Don't try to fix her, don't make her feel guilty. Don't listen to her just so you can get into her pants.

Just give her the green light to tell you what is on her mind. Ask her what she wants from you. And love her.

Things will get back on track soon.

 

[youngandshy]

Thanks you all...pretty good advice

We have had the talk about it...she has said she just wants a little more romance. I do half the housework (my wife doesn't cook, lol) but she's just not in the mood often.

All is ok though, we'll figure it out.

Thanks for the advice

 

[akatrex]

http://www.thedailygreen.com/cm/thedailygreen/images/f5/1-30days-pour-wine-md.jpg

 

[PhilGarlic]

forget

forget the wife and just knock out a vicious wank

In real life, stress can play a big part in how we all feel, as has been said before don't pile on the guilt, she knows she's not coming across!

I know with my wife I need to turn her on mentally as well as physically when she is uptight or stressed out.

Repeating what has already been said, talk, talk, talk.

 

[MIrabbitGirl]

Do things without expecting sex or having that be your goal. Go for walks, try to start interesting conversations, go on dates, or have date nights at home, massages/ back rubs, call/text/email her once in awhile to let her know you are thinking of her and love her. For me, romance is not always about sex, I need the emotional intamacy, too. Another suggestion is for you to read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. You could also ask her what are some things she would like, or if she's feeling shy ask her to write them down for you or email them. Good luck!