[DELETED-THREAD] [DELETE-ACCOUNT]

[ProgressNotPerfection]

Requesting Account Deletion...

I apologize for the dirty deletes.. I should not be here. I appreciate that blunt and honesty from people here. However, i should not be here.. I've requested account deletion. I have a-lot of healing to do. I wish you all well in life..

 

[Stephie02]

Short and sweet, okay? Don't look at her or talk to her like she's a woman. In your mind you need to convince yourself she's a human being, just like you. You can be attracted to her, you can want to have sex with her, but she's a human being. Talk to her like one about your common interests, that's all. I wish you well.

 

[Stephie02]

Theyre all human beings. I dont view them as sex objects i just dont know how to talk to them... scared ill just mess everything up.

It's not always about looking at a woman like a sex object, but being intimidated by a woman still means you are objectifying them, putting them on some pedestal, which, believe me, most women DO NOT WANT TO BE ON A PEDESTAL! We want someone to talk to us like we are human. We are not perfect, we are not 'better' than men, (well, not in a way that counts in your situation).

We want to be treated as equals, as the same. We don't like guys who treat us like we're beneath them, and we don't (most of us) don't want to be treated or thought of, as being superior, and that is what you are doing.

And stop putting yourself down.

 

[BillyWalrus]

Theyre all human beings. I dont view them as sex objects i just dont know how to talk to them... scared ill just mess everything up.

Them? You say this like they are another species. How do you talk to anyone? Man or woman? As for messing everything up? What's to mess up? A simple conversation between strangers.

The advice given in the first comment was good. Take it.

 

[Stephie02]

Them? You say this like they are another species. How do you talk to anyone? Man or woman? As for messing everything up? What's to mess up? A simple conversation between strangers.

The advice given in the first comment was good. Take it.

Nice catch, I missed the 'them' comment; you're right.

 

[ronde]

A couple observations from a man who has been around a lot longer than you've been alive.

1. Regardless of what you read on this site and what you see on movies and TV, very few women will just blindly strike up a conversation with any man unless that conversation involves a common interest. They definitely won't be talking about sex or anything related to sex. If they did, they'd be labeled as sluts.

If you're trying to meet women at work, the way to get to know them is to work with them on work related things. They'll be more open once they get to know you as long as you fit what they find appealing about a man.

If you're trying to meet women in a social environment, pick an environment where the women have the same interest as you (other than lust). One of the best ways to meet women in my experience is to register for dance lessons. I know, dancing isn't considered very masculine, but women love to dance and they like men who will dance with them. Other places might be charity work.

2. Be very careful about unconsciously giveing her that "I feel I have I have all the confidence in the world to make her feel happy and loved" impression of yourself. There are few things that will turn off a woman more than a man who thinks he knows what she likes when she hasn't told him what she likes. Keep your cool. If she wants the relationship to go that way, she'll let you know.

3. Do not mistake that playing with her hair thing to mean she wants the guy. Some women do that because they're nervous, not because they're ready to hop in the sack. The same goes for a woman touching you when she talks. Some women are just "touchers", just like some men tend to wave their hands a lot when they talk.

 

[Stephie02]

A couple observations from a man who has been around a lot longer than you've been alive.

1. Regardless of what you read on this site and what you see on movies and TV, very few women will just blindly strike up a conversation with any man unless that conversation involves a common interest. They definitely won't be talking about sex or anything related to sex. If they did, they'd be labeled as sluts.

If you're trying to meet women at work, the way to get to know them is to work with them on work related things. They'll be more open once they get to know you as long as you fit what they find appealing about a man.

If you're trying to meet women in a social environment, pick an environment where the women have the same interest as you (other than lust). One of the best ways to meet women in my experience is to register for dance lessons. I know, dancing isn't considered very masculine, but women love to dance and they like men who will dance with them. Other places might be charity work.

2. Be very careful about unconsciously giveing her that "I feel I have I have all the confidence in the world to make her feel happy and loved" impression of yourself. There are few things that will turn off a woman more than a man who thinks he knows what she likes when she hasn't told him what she likes. Keep your cool. If she wants the relationship to go that way, she'll let you know.

3. Do not mistake that playing with her hair thing to mean she wants the guy. Some women do that because they're nervous, not because they're ready to hop in the sack. The same goes for a woman touching you when she talks. Some women are just "touchers", just like some men tend to wave their hands a lot when they talk.

Perfect.

 

[ProgressNotPerfection]

I appreciate the advice. Im not very clear in my communication here. I want to beat this mentality.. im not in an area where I can thrive... maybe in some fucked up way I put everyone on a pedestal above me. Its a mentality I need to beat this mentality of thinking im.never good enough, that I could be better, and until.im better I have no right talking to people whom.i may be interested in.. that unless.im perfect there's no way ill be accepted... thats mentality I think at the core is my issue...

 

[BillyWalrus]

I appreciate the advice. Im not very clear in my communication here. I want to beat this mentality.. im not in an area where I can thrive... maybe in some fucked up way I put everyone on a pedestal above me. Its a mentality I need to beat this mentality of thinking im.never good enough, that I could be better, and until.im better I have no right talking to people whom.i may be interested in.. that unless.im perfect there's no way ill be accepted... thats mentality I think at the core is my issue...

What does "perfect" even mean? One person's "perfect" is another person's "imperfect". You really put a lot of weight on yourself. Isn't gravity enough?

 

[BillyWalrus]

I dont know man. I dont know what it means... growing up so many people thought I was gifted and talented and going to do big things in life.... and idek what all that means...

My mom always told me to do better. She wasn't happy til she knew I was the top. Idk what anything fucking means and it sucks... and I just want to live a normal.human life. Thats all I want.

Maybe you should try doing some things just for their intrinsic satisfaction. A walk in the park. A swing on a playground. A swim in a pond. Look at little kids. They know how to enjoy life. You have been carrying that weight a long time but you don't have to continue to carry it.

 

[Stephie02]

With a lot of sympathy I'm just going to say see a therapist. That's what you need. That not to be mean.