How to forget someone ?

[Anwar80]

How can a person forgot someone who was very close to him for a long time ?

 

[phillyinjun]

How can a person forgot someone who was very close to him for a long time ?

Time.

Don't take any shortcuts, time is the only way to dull that pain. One day, it will recede into the background but it will never fully go away.

In the meantime, hang out with friends who understand, grieve, get angry, etc.

This pain is a good thing, shows you have a heart of flesh. If you could move on quickly, you need a heart transplant.

 

[Mac98]

I'm not sure what the circumstances are, but I would suggest grieving and working through exactly what it is that pains you and WHY. That's highly important, otherwise, as soon as something like this happens again, you'll fall apart once more. If you work through it, you'll be stronger next time around.

But time heals our wounds. Apparently. Hopefully.

...I'm sure it does.

 

[Anwar80]

I'm not sure what the circumstances are, but I would suggest grieving and working through exactly what it is that pains you and WHY. That's highly important, otherwise, as soon as something like this happens again, you'll fall apart once more. If you work through it, you'll be stronger next time around.

But time heals our wounds. Apparently. Hopefully.

...I'm sure it does.

I hope, because at the moment I feel like the pain will last for a very long time. Someday I wish if there was a way where I can just switch off that pain but there is no easy way I guess.

 

[dollface007]

I hope, because at the moment I feel like the pain will last for a very long time. Someday I wish if there was a way where I can just switch off that pain but there is no easy way I guess.

I am going through the same thing. I wish I could accept the break-up and move on, but I still love him so much and I can't let go. You are not alone.

 

[Somehowyou]

Here are a few elements that you can string together to help you get over any breakup or loss for whatever reason

For the short term, Lunesta and Ambien to help you sleep at night
Alprazolam (xanax) can also help in a pinch
Massage Therapy
A visit to Montreal with some nice young escort hotties - after being dumped a sure thing is the best approach. The USA is one fo the few places in the world where it is illegal to engage in prostitution
Workouts can help you reduce stress, renew self esteem, and pass time.
Fishing/hiking in solitude with your dog.

All these things help me pass the time when am feeling down.

 

[Primalex]

Step 1:

Don't make threads about it.

 

[qrayze]

I joined a support group when i was going thru my divorce, and it really helped out a lot. But now that my boyfriend and I just broke up, I wish I had a support group I could go to.

Thanks for posting this; from experience, I know that time does lessen pain, and distance weakens feelings, but it's nice to have a reminder that I'm not the only one who goes thru this crap.

 

[Somehowyou]

I joined a support group when i was going thru my divorce, and it really helped out a lot. But now that my boyfriend and I just broke up, I wish I had a support group I could go to.

Thanks for posting this; from experience, I know that time does lessen pain, and distance weakens feelings, but it's nice to have a reminder that I'm not the only one who goes thru this crap.

This is a good point and I wish I would of added to my list. See a professional and you may get some useful advice. At least you have someone to talk to that is impartial and outside your circle of friends and realtives. Your information is confidential. If you go to group you meet people that are in the same boat. I think this would be comforting...knowing that your not the only one.

 

[cordite]

I don't think there's any way to fully forget someone. No matter how much it hurts now, time will make things better. You might have to just go through the motions in getting yourself out and about to do things but sitting around and focusing on this probably won't help. If you need counseling or an ear to listen then definitely use them as well.

Don't self-medicate. Each of us has to go though and process these things to move on, learn and grow as individuals.

 

[Somehowyou]

I don't think there's any way to fully forget

Don't self-medicate. Each of us has to go though and process these things to move on, learn and grow as individuals.

True...Oh I wasn't suggesting self medicating. There are Dr's that will perscribe. This is why they make the stuff.

 

[Dribble]

Step 1:

Don't make threads about it.

sometimes simplicity needs to be seen more than once.

The real question isn't "how to forget"

 

[hellsgate]

I'm afraid everyone's right. But copies of a picture of them at the firing range helps.

 

[Elliebelle]

Step 1:

Don't make threads about it.

This is so true. Dwelling on it and remembering don't help you forget.

 

[Mac98]

I wouldn't suggest listening to Primalex. If he wants to make a fucken thread, let him make a damn thread, he's not pissing anyone off and he's not trolling. That's A, and B) who says he's going through a break up? His OP was vague enough to let suggest that perhaps someone close to him passed away...

Talking about it is a good start. Keeping it in and never saying a word won't help you forget because you're not dealing with it. Once it's out and you've discussed it a bit, helped transform your feelings into words, you can start the grieving process or "getting over it".

I would still suggest to go through your feelings and understand what it is that's upsetting you and working on that. Then, with time, the pain will start going away.

...I don't think it'll ever leave completely. It's what we call a scar. But it'll definately dissipate in intensity with time, once you've done the work neccessary.

 

[Dribble]

I wouldn't suggest listening to any one person in particular. Anyone who wants to post here should be adult enough to take what they want and leave the rest. I have learned long ago to at least weigh the advice of others because you NEVER know where the next bit of magic that helps you get by will come from. Just because you disagree with another's opinion, doesn't make it bad advice. It may simply be bad for you. There is no one solution for any issue. Christ, some people find punching walls and doors to be a good release for pent up emotions.

 

[Elliebelle]

I wouldn't suggest listening to Primalex. If he wants to make a fucken thread, let him make a damn thread, he's not pissing anyone off and he's not trolling. That's A, and B) who says he's going through a break up? His OP was vague enough to let suggest that perhaps someone close to him passed away...

Talking about it is a good start. Keeping it in and never saying a word won't help you forget because you're not dealing with it. Once it's out and you've discussed it a bit, helped transform your feelings into words, you can start the grieving...

For what it's worth, talking about it and posting about it are different things. Maybe you're right and this will help this particular person, but a conversation with a friend, therapist, or bar tender is transient. It works through things and then it passes into time. A thread in a forum is a memorial that lasts for hours, days, weeks, or longer. It is a place to keep coming back to the same thoughts and the same emotional states again and again.

And for a lot of people than makes forum posts far less therapeutic than the sort of talking and working through things you talk about.

But, you are right to point at that for some people it might not be like that and could be helpful.

 

[Anwar80]

Part of me wanted to share this with others & see how other people who may have been through the same thing, managed to overcome it.

By forgetting someone, I was talking about a girl that I was very close to but now, things came to an end & I find it really hard to stop thinking about her.

 

[Mr.G]

I respond from the perspective of a loved one dying which happened to me. I was with Sue for 21 years. Ups and downs like any relationship but in the end we were happier than we had ever been (see the TRY THIS thread) and closer, more trusting, loving, affectionate and on a physical level, couldn't get enough of each other - felt like teenagers again.

When she died the pain left me mystified how an adult could feel THAT bad and still function - breathe even. In their own way and depending on the maturity of the individual breaking up / divorce, can feel nearly as traumatic.

To me at the time and still looking back the pain in many ways defined the relationship. It enunciated the closeness, love and lust that we so happily shared and was so suddenly gone. That pain also defines the human condition. Wallow in it. It will pass with time but the fact that you feel this now shows you how much you had to give and hopefully, that will return with another lover and I hope, for you - soon.

 

[milmayes]

I have had a few people close to me come and go through my life. Those that were the closest are the most painful to let go. But time lessens the pain. Those people. In your life are the ones who can do the most for you. In the mean time exercise and other physical activities are a great release. Some times you have to make yourself feel better by doing those things that people who are feeling better do. Going out and socializing may or may not be your thing, but if you do it a few times you'll end up having fun and being able to relax

 

[NomadLady]

Time...it really the only thing that works. That person was special to you for whatever reason and no other person will completely fit the space that has been left in the absence, so no need in trying to fill that space with anything that can't even be remotely molded to fit. Just let time do what it can.