how to find guys to masturbate with

[karuna]

One of my (many) kinks is that I like to watch people masturbate, and to be watched. I'd like to find a guy or a group that likes the same thing: to watch and be watched.

I thought, what with the internet and all, that it would be easy to find like-minded guys, but it's been a disappointing hunt. J/O clubs are ok, but tend to mostly have guys that want to go further. It's very flattering, but not what I am looking for, and the real bummer is that I end up feeling like the wet blanket; it's no fun saying "no."

On-line masturbation forums also tend to be crowded with virginal dorks insisting on "jack and jill" parties, who are too clueless to figure out that it's easier to get a woman to have sex with you than to get her to come over and watch you stroke it.

Anyway, I am always looking for advice on how to find a few friendly and hygenic guys with the same kink, but both the online world and the clubs are flooded with people looking for other stuff. Is my kink really that rare? How do I find a few like-minded wankers? Any advice/experince? BTW I live in a medium-sized southern european city.

thanks in advance
karuna

PS this particular city doesn't have a JO club anyhow

 

[roticareader]

reply to Jerk off buddies

I have had a couple opportunities to jerk off with another guy in the video booths at the Adult book store. Of course there is a window in between but you may be able to get him to cum into your booth.

 

[Barushko]

perfectly normal karuna

nice post Karuna--I came back to Canada from Ireland a couple years ago but had been visiting european cities on business (writer/editor etc) frequently while over there--too bad.

In my experience lots of women like to watch guys masturbating and don't necessarily want them to go farther or hassle them in any way

I'm sorry we're so far apart since you're artriculate and focused and it would have been nice to explore this with you.

I adore watching a girl masturbate--and masturbating for hert

Mihail


how to find guys to masturbate with
One of my (many) kinks is that I like to watch people masturbate, and to be watched. I'd like to find a guy or a group that likes the same thing: to watch and be watched.

I thought, what with the internet and all, that it would be easy to find like-minded guys, but it's been a disappointing hunt. J/O clubs are ok, but tend to mostly have guys that want to go further. It's very flattering, but not what I am looking for, and the real bummer is that I end up feeling like the wet blanket; it's no fun saying "no."

On-line masturbation forums also tend to be crowded with virginal dorks insisting on "jack and jill" parties, who are too clueless to figure out that it's easier to get a woman to have sex with you than to get her to come over and watch you stroke it.

Anyway, I am always looking for advice on how to find a few friendly and hygenic guys with the same kink, but both the online world and the clubs are flooded with people looking for other stuff. Is my kink really that rare? How do I find a few like-minded wankers? Any advice/experince? BTW I live in a medium-sized southern european city.

thanks in advance
karuna

 

[karuna]

Re: reply to Jerk off buddies

I have had a couple opportunities to jerk off with another guy in the video booths at the Adult book store. Of course there is a window in between but you may be able to get him to cum into your booth.

I've only seen these windows once, in the gay section of an adult book/video store. I watched a guy stroke it for a while, but he wanted to go further. He was perfectly friendly about it, and I hope he found what he was looking for. Still, it was disappointing for me, mostly because I don't like being the party pooper.

In any case, there isn't anything like it where I currently live, although I haven't checked everwhere.

BTW, the other posters seem to think I am a woman; I am not. I think I was pretty clear in saying that I was looking for other guys. I love masturbating in front of women, and have had a few memorable experiences doing so. Although there are indeed women who like to watch, I stand by my claim that they are harder to find then women who want to have sex. Most message board posts are by clueless geeks who can't figure out how to get laid, and therefore think a infantile one-line post will get them some voyerist/exhibitionist action. Finding *guys* who will play this game is hard enough!

 

[Windpoet72]

Some people are into different things and I'm sure that there are plent of guys here willing to JO with, you know phone sex and web cam I'm sure thats not to over board.

 

[Etoile]

I'm not sure what size city you live in, but my local gay paper has ads for that kind of thing. (Pictures and everything.)

 

[karuna]

I'm not sure what size city you live in, but my local gay paper has ads for that kind of thing. (Pictures and everything.)

There's no gay paper here. Not much of a gay or alternative scene at all, except a few icky-looking bath houses. I need to do a tour of the adult bookstores and ask. I'm fairly shameless, and I don't mind asking; I just haven't gotten around to it and I'm not very optimistic.

Thanks for the help and encouragement!

-karuna

 

[karuna]

a question that perhaps deserves it own thread:

Does anyone know what fraction of the action in a 'normal' gay club would fit into the category of voyeristic, exhibitionistic, j/o? If I went just to masturbate in front of people, would that seem pathetic to the regulars? Would I bore them? Would anyone be stroking it for me to watch?

-k

 

[Etoile]

a question that perhaps deserves it own thread:

Does anyone know what fraction of the action in a 'normal' gay club would fit into the category of voyeristic, exhibitionistic, j/o? If I went just to masturbate in front of people, would that seem pathetic to the regulars? Would I bore them? Would anyone be stroking it for me to watch?

-k

Erm, what do you mean by a "normal gay club" - the ones I know are mostly for socializing and dancing, not any sexual activities. Or are you talking about a j/o circle jerk club?

 

[karuna]

Erm, what do you mean by a "normal gay club" - the ones I know are mostly for socializing and dancing, not any sexual activities. Or are you talking about a j/o circle jerk club?

Sorry if I get the vocabulary wrong. What I meant was a normal gay sex club. Or a gay bar with a 'back room,' or other establishment where people go for more or less anonymous sex. I ask partly because the J/O clubs I have attended have been parts of the scheduled activities at what I am calling, perhaps incorrectly, gay sex clubs.

For example, the last time I was at a J/O club, a number of the participants stayed afterwards, when the club reverted to its normal 'anything goes' state. I didn't think to ask at the time, but now I wonder: would I have been welcome to stay and watch? I mean, I know I would be welcome in the sense that no one would throw me out. But would it be awkward? How would a voyeur/wanker be seen? Would there be others? I would hate being the prude who doesn't play along.

The weird thing is that I would have thought that the voyeur/exhibitionist, j/o kink would be an easy itch to scratch, but it's been amazingly hard to find like-minded guys. The clubs are ok, but kind of anonymous, dingy, and occasionally creepy. I'd much prefer a friendly, playful vibe instead of a bunch of embarassed closet cases who won't look me in the eyes, much less say hello or ask permission before grabbing my cock like it was a doorknob.

But I miss that dingy club now!

*sigh*

-k

 

[south_florida_bicur]

there are clubs / groups whatever you call it where people get together for a circle jerk?

i never heard of such a thing. very interesting!

the people (either online or in real life) want more then to just watch a guy jo or jo in front of another guy.

 

[karuna]

there are clubs / groups whatever you call it where people get together for a circle jerk?

There are indeed such places. There just aren't enough of them! I think the first, and in any case the one with the best website, is www.nyjacks.com.

In principle it's not supposed to have to be a circle-jerk. In other words, you don't have to touch. In fact, you're not supposed to touch without permission, although people are grabby. When I have been to these clubs, I prefer not to touch, although I usually let the friendly ones hold my cock a bit. It seems to make them so happy.

The problem with the club is that it's so anonymous. Ideally, I'd like to have a few friends to masturbate with: people I would know well enough to trust, so that stray bodily fluids wouldn't be such a source of anxiety. Ideally, I'd like to be able to let someone jerk off on me, especially on my face and erect penis. I've only done that back when I had a real wank-friend, whose relationship and health status I had some confidence in, whom I trusted, etc. It's the kind of thing I'd only do with someone I knew well, liked, and trusted... obviously not in a club.

If you're curious, I can describe a bit more in detail my experiences in the clubs: how it works, what happens, what the place looks like, etc. Let me know.

karuna

 

[wild-thing]

Details,Details

I would be very curious to hear more about your club experiences as I'm sure would others.

 

[karuna]

Re: Details,Details

I would be very curious to hear more about your club experiences as I'm sure would others.

I imagine that others have broader knowledge of the subject, but here goes:

My experience consists of about 10 visits to one club, spread out over about two years. I've never lived in a city with such an establishment, but I did live for a while where my business would allow me to travel though a such a city every few months.

The J/O club rents space in a sex club. Virtually all the events there are gay, although in principle it is available to straight swing-clubs and the like. The building is nondescript and unmarked, in a run-down but safe area. You walk in and there is a desk. You pay; the guy at the desk gives you a small padlock, and you enter an area with lockers.

Once as naked as you want to get, you enter the club itself. Overall it's pretty dingy: maybe 6 rooms, threadbare thrift-shop furniture, and bad lighting. I always try to stay where the lighting is best; I want to see!

I should say that after my first visit, I was so disappointed I didn't think I would ever go back. It wasn't the musty decor so much as the people. I think that guys like me, who basically have a kink for seeing squirting cocks, are in the minority. Everyone there seemed so embarassed, and awkward, that I assumed that the clientele is mostly closet cases: married men who dither on the hairy edge of faggotry, full of confusion and self-loathing. No one says hi; no one smiles; no one talks at all. No one stays in one place long. I had a hard time settling in.

The two things I wanted (and still want!) were these: to watch appreciatively as men stroke their cocks to orgasm, and to be watched in turn. But guys kept wandering in and out of rooms without saying anything. I saw a squirt or two, but almost by accident; no one gives any warning or makes an effort to offer a good view

I should also say, as an aside, that I came to alternative sexuality through non-sexual new-aginess. I expected, from a sex club, something like what I knew from from naked, californian, polyamourous, spiritualist hot-tubbers. I expected people that went into sexual adventure with a sense of play and affection. What I found were normal, emotionally fucked-up people trying to jerk off in the same room without communicating.

Most people are there for gay-sex-lite. Just being a watcher is a little limiting, especially with people that don't ask or otherwise comminicate.

I did go back, of course. I had lower expectations, and tried to make up for the uptightness of the others, by chatting etc, explaining that I wasn't rejecting them and they could touch my cock a bit if they wanted, but that I was really there to watch and be watched. I admit I was pretty awkward, but I made an effort. Some people really opened up, and the visits got better and better.

It was really the last few visits that, while not great, were tolerably close to what I was hoping for from a club. I had gotten to know a few regulars, and we actually chatted about what we liked, what we had done, what we hoped to do, etc. It was nice.. A few guys actually sought me out when they were going to come, so that I could watch closely!

During my previous visits, I had always left without coming myself, since the unpredictable wanderings of the crowd always broke my groove up too much. The last few times, I was able to communicate my exhibitionist desire, and had an enthusiastic semicircle of staring spectators, their eyes fixed on my glistening cock. The first time I was prett itimidated, but I had promised myself to go through with it. Also, I always saved up for at least a few days before going to the club (aeven if on previous occasions I didn't actually squirt) so when I did come it was a pretty huge load. It's kind of infantile how proud I was of all the thick jizz I squirted. When I save up a bit I can come like a porn star.

The last few visits had some highpoints. I stared from centimeters away at a few hard cocks as the hot come gloop-glooped out, and I stroked out a big load several times with large (the last time at least 10 people!) attentive audiences.

So now I am a long way from that club, and I was just getting to understand the place, to figure out how to have fun there. I dare say I was contributing something too, a dose of openness and fun and comminication.

But even at it's best, it's not exactly what I was looking for. I'd really rather have a couple of friends locally whom I know reasonably well, to jerk off with as I mentioned in previous messages.

Still, I do miss that club.

Any other questions?