How to find a "friend with benefits"

[jk60060]

To put it in a nutshell, my wife and I have decided that I can look elsewhere to have my sexual needs taken care of by another woman. I'm wondering where are good places that I can I'm looking for NSA fun? I want to stand out, not to just look like another horndog out there. Any ideas of where I can look and how I should post to get my point across without sounding like all the others? I'm not sure about AFF or any of those other sites. Any information would be greatly appreciated.

 

[SweetErika]

To put it in a nutshell, my wife and I have decided that I can look elsewhere to have my sexual needs taken care of by another woman. I'm wondering where are good places that I can I'm looking for NSA fun? I want to stand out, not to just look like another horndog out there. Any ideas of where I can look and how I should post to get my point across without sounding like all the others? I'm not sure about AFF or any of those other sites. Any information would be greatly appreciated.

There are tons of personals sites, and my suggestion would be to do some searching and looking around them to see which seem most in-line with what you're looking for. My guess is just about any 'NSA Fuckfest' site will yield a ton of competition, so it'll be tougher to get noticed and find matches as a male.

You might want to consider alternate arrangements and lifestyles such as friends with benefits, finding a married woman who's looking for a steady partner (not a bad idea considering the risks of many partners), hooking up with a couple who's looking for a male to fuck the wife, or swinging (maybe even just finding a woman who's interested in swinging to go to parties or meet others with). These types of things may fit better with your situation and desires, AND they might make getting noticed/finding matches easier for you. Again, google a variety of terms, see what's out there, and explore the sites.

There are lots of basics for posting personals ( click here ) that should yield better results. For your specific situation, I'd emphasize:
- Fill out your profile(s) completely and well (proofread and spell check everything you write). Believe it or not, those who put effort in and care about the impression they're making can be rare.

- Be upfront about your situation...you might say something like, 'I'm married, and my wife knows about and supports extramarital relationships,' or whatever's true for you. Open but positive and brief -- you can go into details about it upon further contact-- is what I'm trying to get across here. If you just say you're married, some may assume you're cheating/dishonest.

- Think about what specifically you want/need, and what terms like 'NSA fun' mean to you, then be clear in your ad and communication with ladies. Frankly, I'd avoid using something like 'NSA fun' altogether because it's too ambiguous: you may want to just meet to fuck without exchanging names, or maybe you're indicating you're not looking for anything beyond a casual friendship where you have drinks, share a meal, e-mail/phone, and have sex once a week.

- Post clear, accurate photos of just you. Including a good face shot may help; some are most attracted to faces, and it kind of gives a better first impression, IMO. If you can't post face pics due to privacy concerns, make sure you say you're happy to share them with those you talk to privately in your profile.

- Steer clear of cock descriptions, pics, and tired descriptions of your sexual skills (EVERYONE says they're "a great lover, VERY oral, a giver, love pleasuring for hours on end, a great cock, etc." )

- Put effort into responding, and be original and polite when you do so. Use the person's name, and be specific about what about them as an individual prompted you to contact them (i.e. make sure you're not, or appear to be, copying and pasting the same message). Also re-read your message before sending to make sure the lady has something to respond to/there's conversation potential. Sometimes I get messages that consist of a compliment, simple statement, yes/no question, etc.; while they can be nice, there's often not much to say in response, which can give the impression the person might be difficult to talk to, lacks social skills, or isn't really interested in me.

-On some sites, you may have to pay to even have a chance. Research it well, and realize "premium/platinum/whatever" membership status probably isn't going to increase your odds that much on sites like AFF, mainly because the male to female ratio is just so high.

- Post and get to know people right here at Lit, simply with the intention of meeting others and making friends. You never know what may come of interactions and friendships, and you may have better luck in a community like this than on a personals site. I'd advise against only posting ads in Personals and/or commenting in AmPics, and just sending random women PMs is generally a bad idea, but you may be as pleasantly surprised as I've been at the relationships that can develop from participating in discussion in a few of the forums.