How to Fall in Love

[Arielsdream]

Apparently this is based on a well known study regarding intimacy building:


http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html

 

[silverwhisper]

i'm glad you posted that. i've seen some of these in books of questions my wife has.

ed

 

[southern_gal]

My heart has never had a list of questions. It just does what it does. I've regretted some of the decisions it's had me make thru the years but that's how it goes. Like they say, the heart wants what it wants and I do actually think it's as easy as that.

 

[bailadora]

My heart has never had a list of questions. It just does what it does. I've regretted some of the decisions it's had me make thru the years but that's how it goes. Like they say, the heart wants what it wants and I do actually think it's as easy as that.

I don't know that I entirely agree with this. Yes, the heart can want what it wants, but I also think we make the choice as to whether or not we're going to let our emotions entirely rule us, or if we're going to allow reason a voice in the decision process.

There have been people to whom I have felt powerfully drawn, but who I have either cut from my life, or only maintained the most superficial of associations with because I knew their influence would not be compatible with my goal(s) in life. Could I have fallen in love with some of these people? If I had continued a close association, probably. But I was cognizant of the fact that wouldn't be a good course of action for me, and removed myself before it could get to that point.

 

[silverwhisper]

i think that a lot of people have problems hearing what their hearts are telling them clearly. shit, isn't that why there are so many magazines, blogs and sites devoted to relationships in the first place?

ed

 

[southern_gal]

I don't know that I entirely agree with this. Yes, the heart can want what it wants, but I also think we make the choice as to whether or not we're going to let our emotions entirely rule us, or if we're going to allow reason a voice in the decision process.

There have been people to whom I have felt powerfully drawn, but who I have either cut from my life, or only maintained the most superficial of associations with because I knew their influence would not be compatible with my goal(s) in life. Could I have fallen in love with some of these people? If I had continued a close association, probably. But I was cognizant of the fact that wouldn't be a good course of action for me, and removed myself before it could get to that point.

I never said that my theory is a one size fits all. For good or bad I've followed my heart more times than not and likely always will. It gets broken, I piece it back together, it gets bruised and then heals and the cycle repeats itself. For me, the good far out weighs the bad so all in all, I have few regrets.

 

[bailadora]

I never said that my theory is a one size fits all. For good or bad I've followed my heart more times than not and likely always will. It gets broken, I piece it back together, it gets bruised and then heals and the cycle repeats itself. For me, the good far out weighs the bad so all in all, I have few regrets.

I never thought you were. My observation was more about the statement that "the heart wants what it wants", with the implication (as I perceived it) that there is little that can be done to influence or change that. Obviously, I don't agree.

Nor was I making a judgement call whether one method was better than the other. If it works for you, more power to you. The only time I ever get impatient with people is when they don't own the responsibility for their decisions and want to pass it off as "I just can't help myself."

 

[bailadora]

i think that a lot of people have problems hearing what their hearts are telling them clearly.

Could be. Introspection is second nature to me. I don't know that I always get the correct message, but I spend a lot of time trying.

 

[subwannabe]

Hearts are stupid. That's why God gave us brains.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

i think that a lot of people have problems hearing what their hearts are telling them clearly. shit, isn't that why there are so many magazines, blogs and sites devoted to relationships in the first place?

ed

This years Bruce Jenner Makeover winner. Ed gives a whole new meaning to GROW A PAIR.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I always advised my patients to get a cash bond from their luv contestants.

 

[Christopher2012]

OP got this from Rhett and Link and their show Good Mythical Morning on Youtube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O85nwStO0O0

 

[Setanta84]

My heart has never had a list of questions. It just does what it does. I've regretted some of the decisions it's had me make thru the years but that's how it goes. Like they say, the heart wants what it wants and I do actually think it's as easy as that.

I used to think this way.

The proverbial heart isn't as independent from reason as we would like to think. Ask any cult leader, psychopath, advertising exec, or politician. You can be programmed to love very easily based on simple bits of info and cues.

 

[Raquel25]

Apparently this is based on a well known study regarding intimacy building:


http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html

Interesting article. I don't think those questions would work on me. I find them to be a little irritating.

 

[SquirtnBrat]

I believe "love" can be created by spending time with anyone, you control who you spend time with, so you control who you love. These questions seem like great conversation starters.

 

[Felix_Jones]

Apparently this is based on a well known study regarding intimacy building:


http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html

Don't bother, people are boring and relationships are not worth the effort.

 

[silverwhisper]

don't bother posting, felix, you're boring and not worth the 5 seconds to read.

ed

 

[Felix_Jones]

don't bother posting, felix, you're boring and not worth the 5 seconds to read.

ed

Just doing my part for humanity.

 

[_Hawkmoon_]

My heart has never had a list of questions. It just does what it does. I've regretted some of the decisions it's had me make thru the years but that's how it goes. Like they say, the heart wants what it wants and I do actually think it's as easy as that.

I echo this sentiment.