how to...define virginity!?

[juicy_kitten]

hey, i was just reading the anal sex - when was your first time thread and read about this guys first time was because his g/f wanted to preserve her virginity and still have sex with him, therefore they had anal sex - to me after this she was no longer a vigin (imo of course)! so i got to thinking: what IS viginity to you - to me it is not really about the PHYSICAL it is about the emotional and intellectual, maybe this is because my first sexual experience was with a woman - from then on i no longer considered myself a virgin - inexperienced with men yes but a virign no. and if it is just about the physical - what about if a girl has used dildos etc? does this make her no longer a virgin?! do i only feel this way because i am bi - what is your persuasion how do you feel?!
since then i hav had sex with a guy - it was amazing and a new experience but i did not consider myself to be loosing my "virginity" i gave that to a gorgeous girl in a friends dorm room lol

 

[EJFan]

i have a vague memory of a discussion about this a while back. there may be a thread lying around but who knows where it is.

my thoughts then, as they are now, were that it depends on whether you look at it from an emotional or biological standpoint. the hardest line, in my opinion, is that of PIV. for the people who want to be VERY technical about it, if you've not had a penis in your vagina, you're still a virgin.

outside of that, there are so many shades of grey that it's almost impossible to define virginity. for me personally, i've always felt that if you've had sexual contact of any sort (toys, vaginal, anal, oral, manual, etc.) you're not a virgin. i don't care if your hymen is calcified, laminated and bubble wrapped.

 

[realwanderer]

hey, i was just reading the anal sex - when was your first time thread and read about this guys first time was because his g/f wanted to preserve her virginity and still have sex with him, therefore they had anal sex - to me after this she was no longer a vigin (imo of course)! so i got to thinking: what IS viginity to you - to me it is not really about the PHYSICAL it is about the emotional and intellectual, maybe this is because my first sexual experience was with a woman - from then on i no longer considered myself a virgin - inexperienced with men yes but a virign no. and if it is just about the physical - what about if a girl has used dildos etc? does this make her no longer a virgin?! do i only feel this way because i am bi - what is your persuasion how do you feel?!
since then i hav had sex with a guy - it was amazing and a new experience but i did not consider myself to be loosing my "virginity" i gave that to a gorgeous girl in a friends dorm room lol

So in my opinion you are not a virgin any more after your first sexual encounter. But it seems that many woman feel that as long as their hymen is still in 1 piece, they are indeed a virgin. I guess you can break it only once, so you might want that to happen with some one special. That is the only reason to engage only in other types of sex thatI would not concider hypocrite

 

[it's just me]

So in my opinion you are not a virgin any more after your first sexual encounter. But it seems that many woman feel that as long as their hymen is still in 1 piece, they are indeed a virgin. I guess you can break it only once, so you might want that to happen with some one special. That is the only reason to engage only in other types of sex thatI would not concider hypocrite

Some women choose to save something special for someone special. To them, PIV is saved while other things are done (and the limits here vary according to the woman).

 

[Eilan]

i have a vague memory of a discussion about this a while back. there may be a thread lying around but who knows where it is.

I do, because I started it, but there was another thread that inspired mine.

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=420864

I don't consider PIV sex to be the gold standard for virginity. I think it's more about the amount of experience that one has--a lot of "technical virgins" can be pretty experienced if they do everything but. After all a woman can have her hymen broken by inserting a tampon or going horseback riding. Does the fact that her hymen's broken mean that she's no longer a virgin?

IMO, deciding to have anal sex to preserve one's "virginity" is a hypocritical cop-out. I consider anal to be way more intimate than PIV sex, particularly in terms of the amount of trust that I'd have to have in someone to allow him to do that.

 

[The Gimp]

I say that you're no longer a virgin if you've had intimate contact with someone else's genitals. It's ridiculous to suggest that you're still a virgin because of what kind of contact was involved.

 

[juicy_kitten]

IMO, deciding to have anal sex to preserve one's "virginity" is a hypocritical cop-out. I consider anal to be way more intimate than PIV sex, particularly in terms of the amount of trust that I'd have to have in someone to allow him to do that.[/QUOTE]

thats how i feel!! totally agree!

 

[M's girl]

I say that you're no longer a virgin if you've had intimate contact with someone else's genitals. It's ridiculous to suggest that you're still a virgin because of what kind of contact was involved.

I agree. Ridiculous, yes, and even very hypocritical! Besides.... it's 2006 for Gods sake. I'm not for screwing around like crazy and such but what is the big deal about virginity anyway? Besides.... (and I'm generalizing here for the sake of argument) every man wants to marry a virgin to then complain she knows nothing about what they really want in the bedroom. Talking about double standards and so...

This whole bla bla about sex technically being PIV sex only got Bill Clinton to say "I did NOT have sex with thát woman" referring to Monica Lewinsky. I am, somehow, convinced Hilary did not quite think along that same line....

 

[juicy_kitten]

bumpety bump!!

 

[M's girl]

I say that you're no longer a virgin if you've had intimate contact with someone else's genitals. It's ridiculous to suggest that you're still a virgin because of what kind of contact was involved.

I'd say so too and so does the English dictionary:

sex

1a. The property or quality by which organisms are classified as female or male on the basis of their reproductive organs and functions.
1b. Either of the two divisions, designated female and male, of this classification.
2. Females or males considered as a group.
3. The condition or character of being female or male; the physiological, functional, and psychological differences that distinguish the female and the male. See Usage Note at gender.
4. The sexual urge or instinct as it manifests itself in behavior.
5. Sexual intercourse.
6. The genitals.

sexual intercourse
n.

1. Coitus between humans.
2. Sexual union between humans involving genital contact other than vaginal penetration by the penis.

 

[Eilan]

juicy_kitten, if you're interested, the original discussion that I was referring to was somewhere in this thread.

 

[juicy_kitten]

juicy_kitten, if you're interested, the original discussion that I was referring to was somewhere in this thread.

thanks eilan!! im gonna get some tea and have a read now!!

 

[KokopelliRises]

One of my friends I think got it right, at least in one aspect. He said that you have two (physical) virginities to lose, one to a male, one to a female. I think that emotionally, one gets to choose whether they consider themselves a virgin or not. That only goes so far though. If you are a prostitute or married, you are not a virgin. If you get out of prostitution or get divorced and start over, then yes, I guess you could consider yourself a virgin, but it would be better to be honest with anyone you're with, tell them about your experience.

 

[Athanasia]

i took my own virginity with my toy. but my first experience i consider losing my virginity when it was with an actual person.

i think its more emotionally based.

 

[Reba67]

The problem lies in what exactly is "intact hymen" if you are going to take that stance. Google pictures of hymens....there's LOTS of variations in what it might look like. Heck, I'm pretty sure that when MINE broke, it was during a transvaginal ultrasound several years ago......sure, that was something inserted into my vagina, but would ANY of you consider that "sex" that I had? Hardly. It certainly wasn't sexy for me.

From historical ideas, virginity really had to do with PIV sex. But, from a today perspective, but what man-man sex? Are you a virgin until you have a penis inserted or until you insert your penis in someone else? What about woman-woman relationships? Is it only if you use a strap on that it would be considered losing virginity?

 

[helix27]

I say that you're no longer a virgin if you've had intimate contact with someone else's genitals. It's ridiculous to suggest that you're still a virgin because of what kind of contact was involved.

i agree. well to a point. i mean, i am sure 99% of us played "doctor" with a friend or three when we were young. in these cases i would say yes, you are still a virgin. i would have to say there has to be some emotional conection as well. maybe you could say that you have a "emotionally physical" virginity and then a completely "physical virginity". does that make sense to anyone else??




"The sexual urge or instinct as it manifests itself in behavior." i like that description too.