How to Break a Dry Spell

[collegetrouble]

My girlfriend and I have been going out for a few years now, but just recently moved in together. She was gone for a month for work, and I moved in while she was gone. We had agreed on this move for a while now and we were both looking forward to it. However, since she has gotten back, we have had very little sex and it's frustrating. Her explanation is that it's just a dry spell. I've accepted it and it learned to live with it. She swears that it's not me, so what can I do to help her?

 

[riff]

Throw her on the floor and take her by force. They love it.

No, you idiot, don't rape her!

just kidding.

Dude, I really don't know what to tell you. If she is your girlfriend, do you trust her? How much? And how much "not getting any" can you live with?

At least you have a girlfriend, all I have is an artificial vagina and my imagination. I am lucky enough to have girlfriends, though, that I can take out to dinner and be seen with.

 

[deliciously_naughty]

I would suggest something as basic as talking with her. Okay, you say you have, but have you talked with her about things OTHER than the lack of sex? Is she stressed from work? On the verge of getting promoted or fired? The whole living together thing is going to freak both of you out (you're looking for assurance through sex, besides being horny).

May I also suggest waking her up one morning with a hand between her legs and a naughty suggestion in her ears...always makes me want to go five rounds even if I didn't want sex the night before.

 

[tigerjen]

She could be under a lot of stress....my suggestion is
to talk w/ her to find out what's going......she talk,
you listen

Good luck!



tigerjen

 

[lizabella]

Personal Experience

I went through what you are going through now when a boyfriend of mine moved in. Our sex life was great till we started living together....then BOOM...nothing!! On his end not mine, I was worried it was me, or that there might be someone one else, but come to find out he was just stressed about the new arrangement! Even though we had dated for about three years before we lived together, it was just the newness of it all. After a couple of months and a lot of long nights, it finally happened! And we ended up living together for over a year. Just be patient with her, I know it is hard, but she needs YOU to be there, not just your member! Good Luck!!!

 

[sudsy]

Could be a lot of things, and the only way to find out is to talk to her and try to see what's on the girl's mind.

I'd say don't get pushy. Your right to give her some space, but you don't want to let the no-sex thing become too much of a habit between you! So talk about anything and everything (inlcuding sex and how sexy you find her) and see if you can figure out where the problem might be.

Sudsy

 

[Geminiangel]

As the others before have said, the poor girl is stressed about something. I suggest that you make dinner and have some wine, (or beer) and let her tell you what is going on. Maybe after you clear the air then you all can have some make up sex for the lost time

 

[Romanticstone]

Too many things to consider here...

while communication is vitally important in a relationship, there are unlikely to be any 'quick answers' from short posts....but I'd like to suggest a couple of great books that may help.

The first "Mars and Venus in the Bedroom" by John Gray. -by far the easiest read of the two, and though some put his work off as 'pop psychology' and 'generalizing' there is alot of good information in there especially for those in long-term relationships.

The second "The Erotic Mind" by Jack Morin a professional sex-therapist. This book provides an in-depth look at arousal and desire on a psychological level. Kind of text-bookish, but very insightfull.