How to be more assertive

[Hotred911]

Okay, here's my problem. I've had many of my fantasies fulfilled (sp?) but I have some that I would love to try. My problem is that all of them require me to be the more assertive one. My husband loves the idea of me taking control, and I'm working on, but would love some tips. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can try to become more assertive?

 

[ma_guy]

Okay, here's my problem. I've had many of my fantasies fulfilled (sp?) but I have some that I would love to try. My problem is that all of them require me to be the more assertive one. My husband loves the idea of me taking control, and I'm working on, but would love some tips. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can try to become more assertive?

Hmmm.. I suppose there are probably a few types of assertivness but I'd say that the things I'm most assertive at are the same things that I have high levels of self-confidence in. From a sexual perspective expericnce is key. It's tough to be assertive the first time you try something because you have no way of knowing exactly how things will go.

I won't ask what your fantasies are but is there a way you can build up to them? Maybe take a few steps at a time? Perhaps if you worked on a few steps of the overall fantasy every few days you could then put them all together as an end goal? That way all of the steps wouldn't be new at the final stage.

 

[Guest]

 

[Hotred911]

Re: Re: How to be more assertive

ALcohal and PMS?

lol, I'm pregnant, can't use either of those. But thanks for that tip.

I am trying to work up to the fantasies, some of them involve things we have done, just different situation. Today I was a bit more aggressive with him, I told him what to do on his way home, and made him call me so I could hear it.

 

[MissTaken]

You may have already done this, but I would start by having a very open conversation with him. Find out what his fantasies are.

Then, when knowing what he would like, find the pieces that you would like to experience and go for it.

Even if you are awkard in the beginning, that you both can gain some pleasure from first attempts gives you room for practice without setting yourselves up to fail.

Even a clumsy first spanking is exciting!

 

[~*sunkyssed_kym*~]

Hotred, I agree with MissTaken.........

An open line of communication is the key to understanding. In the relationship with MY-Sir, my communication to HIM and HIS to me, has greatly enhanced the time we spend together. There is no guess work involved. We know exactly what is desired and how to achieve it.
I understand that it may be difficult to open up so much at first. It wasn't easy for me in the beginning, but as I did, I found myself telling MY-Sir desires I had kept locked deep inside of me for many years. That in itself was liberating! Not to mention the strong bond formed between us. I've never had this much trust in anyone in my life.
I wish you the best and hope that you can become more assertive in the process. Sounds as if you have a good start on it.


-k-