MrAnderson360
Sir
- Joined
- Sep 8, 2025
- Posts
- 114
I'm really at a loss on this issue. How do you connect with others being a true introvert.
How to be an introvert
- Thread starter MrAnderson360
- Start date
Is your problem connecting with people or meeting them? True introverts tend to be more reflective and self aware so connecting isn't hard once they step out of their rich (and comfortable) inner worlds as long as they are self aware enough to address any major flaws in appearance or social skills. Meeting people is usually a bigger problem. Rec sports have been a great way for me to meet people, but women have a really easy time getting placed on teams whereas men find it hard so that might not be a good fit. Where do you try to meet people? What kinds of problems do you have connecting?
MrAnderson360
Sir
- Joined
- Sep 8, 2025
- Posts
- 114
I don't really try that hard. I've been going to dog parks. Thinking that'd be a good way. But people here are so .. distant. Like they just keep walking past you and don't strike much conversation. It's different than fifteen years ago. Everyone seems to have their own lives and no time for anything extra. Stuck in their phones. I don't think I have problems connecting. People say it's easy to talk to me and find me very kind and fun. I just don't like doing group things. Social to me is just one other person. Add more and I start getting overwhelmed.
Just from reading other things you say on here, I notice that you boast a lot about things people normally wouldn't and some of the things you say are contradictory. I know that online is online, but people are very good at picking up on bragging and lying and both are unattractive.
However, dog parks are also bad places to meet people now. I can't prove this is covid, but I think it's covid. Dog parks have a lot more pet owners now who likely shouldn't be pet owners. They're places to pay attention.
kyblue12
Literotican
- Joined
- Dec 9, 2023
- Posts
- 1,467
Don’t forget…. Introversion is a spectrum, not a point. From one introvert to another, that always helps me to remember. Some introverts are closer to extrovert and some (like me) are far from extroverts.
We also need to keep in mind that interactions make us spend mental energy. Think about interactions in your daily life. What kinds leave you feeling drained and exhausted? What kinds don’t? Focus more on interactions that don’t leave you drained. For me, a face to face interaction is draining. A message here at lit, not so much. You have to find the things that work for you.
We also need to keep in mind that interactions make us spend mental energy. Think about interactions in your daily life. What kinds leave you feeling drained and exhausted? What kinds don’t? Focus more on interactions that don’t leave you drained. For me, a face to face interaction is draining. A message here at lit, not so much. You have to find the things that work for you.
MrAnderson360
Sir
- Joined
- Sep 8, 2025
- Posts
- 114
I do want face to face. I need that in my life. Online and a message here and there isn't enough. Nature regenerates my energy. So possibly something in nature. With others. I really don't have interactions in daily life other than my wife and MIL. Technically there's a girl that comes over at ungodly hours to visit us, but other than that, I don't really interact with anyone else. Work is from home and interactions are extremely limited
MrAnderson360
Sir
- Joined
- Sep 8, 2025
- Posts
- 114
Usually book clubs are indoors. I appreciate your suggestions. I'll think along the lines of outdoors, clubs maybe, quiet... something will hit me
edi_ready
Virgin
- Joined
- Sep 27, 2025
- Posts
- 10
I agree! Generally, my opinion is that Introverts recharge their energy by spending time in their own company, and expend energy in social situations. Extroverts are the opposite. They need social interactions to help them become energised.
But as kyblue12 says, it’s a spectrum and introverted individuals might have different situations they find harder.
I tend to lean towards introversion. I hate phones! I hate big social gatherings, but I can do them. My strategy is to find a small group or a couple of individuals to help me be able to have proper conversations instead of small talk. Small talk is my enemy as an introvert. I can’t stand it and tend to just go quiet and not know what to say. But engage me in a proper conversation and you won’t shut me up.
So my advice… find places where people talk properly, not just small talk. Also find places where there are smaller groups of folk to engage with, so you can get into conversations and not get lost. Dog walking is ok, but these meetings are fleeting and full of small talk.
One thing I do is say good morning to EVERYONE locally who I walk past in the morning when i’m out walking. It’s amazing how many people don’t expect it and are delighted when you engage.
YourNewEnglandGirl
Experienced
- Joined
- Jul 27, 2025
- Posts
- 48
Depending on where you live, farmer's markets/craft fairs it's relatively easy (even for me) to start a conversation about a shared interest. Check with your local library, many libraries have different clubs and groups. If your town or area has a local festival look into joining the planning committee. Check to see if your area has any outdoor groups that might interest you for example my area has a cross country club, archery, snowmobiling and a few others. They usually meet a couple of times a month, they have dinners and other special activities.
PennyThompson
Orgasm Fairy
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2024
- Posts
- 1,169
As an introvert who puts on an extrovert mask at work, it can feel pretty exhausting by the end of the day, and I usually go straight home to be alone for a while.
But I have some extrovert work friends that I love deeply who invite me to do stuff regularly, and I almost always have a ton of fun with them when I go out to a movie or for drinks or dinner! So if you have any trustworthy extroverts in your life, tell them you want to get out more often and ask them to drag you along with them
If you don't already have extrovert friends, I've met a lot of cool people going to boardgame events, local community bicycle rides, cleanup events, protests, street fairs and farmers markets.
That doesn't usually turn into close friendships, but it does turn into acquaintances that you start to recognize and can smile and nod at when you see them at events, and I think having community acquaintances in your life is almost as important as having close friends.
You just have to put yourself out there, and learn your energy limits. Know when you need to leave, and don't be afraid to leave an event early if you need to! I think social energy is like a muscle, you can train it to get stronger over time!
But I have some extrovert work friends that I love deeply who invite me to do stuff regularly, and I almost always have a ton of fun with them when I go out to a movie or for drinks or dinner! So if you have any trustworthy extroverts in your life, tell them you want to get out more often and ask them to drag you along with them
If you don't already have extrovert friends, I've met a lot of cool people going to boardgame events, local community bicycle rides, cleanup events, protests, street fairs and farmers markets.
That doesn't usually turn into close friendships, but it does turn into acquaintances that you start to recognize and can smile and nod at when you see them at events, and I think having community acquaintances in your life is almost as important as having close friends.
You just have to put yourself out there, and learn your energy limits. Know when you need to leave, and don't be afraid to leave an event early if you need to! I think social energy is like a muscle, you can train it to get stronger over time!
Similar threads
