how to accept a weird compliment?

[DarlingNikki]

I have finally learned how to accept a compliment. "You look nice today," gets a simple "Thanks!" instead of, "Oh, no, my hair's a mess and I barely got any sleep last night, so my eyes are all tired..."

Now I'm wondering, what do I do for a compliment that's not really a compliment? Like, "Oh, you're so skinny, I hate you!" or "Oh, your skin is too nice, I don't even want to look at you. "Thank you," just does not sound right at all. It's less of a compliment to me and more of an admission from them that they are unhappy with themself. I find it very awkward and never know what to say and wish they hadn't said anything. I don't want to say "Oh, you're skinny too!" because a) I don't see skinny as a compliment, b) It might not necessarily be true and c) they probably won't believe me even if I'm sincere. I don't want to go into impromptu therapy either. So... any ideas?

 

[S1LV3R]

Hey

The word 'skinny' never really promotes any good feelings of happiness does it? I always think it is best to take any kind of mock flattery like this with a grain of salt. Besides, if that's you in your avatar, looks like you have a gorgeous body.

Anyway, I think the best thing to do in these situations is to diffuse the conversation. It seems unfair to feel you need to say 'thankyou' to something that isn't all that nice.

For example:

THEM: Oh..you're so skinny, I hate you!
YOU: I don't really like being called skinny... etc etc

(this usually SHOULD lead to an apology... if it doesn't, well you just have an unfriendly and insincere person to deal with, and really isn't worth the effort)

THEM: Oh ok... I'm sorry, I just meant it to be nice.
YOU: That's ok, but I love what you've done with your hair today.

So all in all, you diffuse the situation, and let the person know that you don't like it...finally turning the conversation onto them. Of course if you really don't like the person, say something about the weather or something equally mundane and be done with it.


It's what I do anyway... usually works for me.
Best of luck

Silver

 

[dollface007]

"Oh, give me a break," is my usual reply to such a compliment (although it's been a loooooong time since i've heard the "you're so skinny" one ). I don't know if that's the right way to react, but it let's the person know that you're not going to take the bait and reply, "Oh, you're not fat!!" or "You're just as pretty as I am!!" *OR* take their bait and say, "oh why thank you" just so they can think, "look at what a bitch she is, she's so full of herself."
Actually, i had a friend who pulled crap like that all the time and i finally started completely ignoring those comments. I don't know if it was a phase or if it was a reaction to my non-reaction, but she eventually stopped doing it.

 

[Guest]

I get both of those every now and then and usually what is effective/painless:
"Oh, you're so skinny, I hate you!"
:layful eye roll:: Oh yeah... I hate me too... *slight pause; change subject*

"Oh, your skin is too nice, I don't even want to look at you. "
:layful eye roll:: Yeah... that's why I try to stay away from mirrors... *slight pause; change subject*


Mainly the playful eye roll sets the tone that you're not taking the comment into serious thought and then you twist their sentence around to mockingly agree with it/turn it into a 'joke' and then you pause to appear thoughtful before moving on to a different subject. It just helps to casually get rid of the whole mess with minimal pain, lol.

 

[Noor]

Said with a smile

"how kind of you to mention that"

"really?"

"you don't say"

"I do the best with what I have"

"Thank you for sharing that"

" Gosh, no one has ever said that to me"

 

[SuperShyGuy]

Just try and remember this: no one who gives you a weird compliment is actually thinking to themselves "I'm going to try and be weird now". They just meant be nice. Try and remember that part.

 

[LadyAura]

Just ask, "Was that meant to be a compliment because it was hard for me to tell?"

 

[Wulf7]

This reminds me of a movie quote,

"Your majesty you look like the piss boy!

And you look like a bucket of shit!"


Just reply to the unkind ones with , "You're ugly and your mother dressed you funny today."

 

[Weird Harold]

Now I'm wondering, what do I do for a compliment that's not really a compliment? Like, "Oh, you're so skinny, I hate you!" or "Oh, your skin is too nice, I don't even want to look at you.

Those kinds of "compliments" usually are based in envy and are more a refelction of the other person's insecurity or low self-esteem.

For the most part, they're something that should be ignored completely unless you have some reason to want to help the person with their self-esteem.

There really is no one way to deal with them because they're not really about you; they're about the person who says them. Some are "fishing for compliments" and some are "thinly disguised insults," and most are somewhere in-between, but you can only tell the difference if you know the person.

 

[SexyChele]

Hmm...I've said things that would fall into this category and I was more in teasing mode than anything else. I do get remarks in the same way, especially about my hair or eyes, and I used to get stuck as well. Now? I borrow the phrase from the commercial - "Please don't hate me because I'm beautiful" followed up by a chuckle.

I think most of these remarks stem from a sense of either envy or teasing. It depends on how well you know the other person. I don't include them as compliments, however. ("God, I HATE your hair, it's just so perfect" is not a compliment in my opinion - how do you "hate" something you admire?)

I would try to come up with something funny and just shrug it off. Sincere compliments should always be acknowledged with a "thank you". These types of phrases are completely different, IMO.