How the heck do I write about it?

[Icingsugar]

Greetings folks!

This is my first post to this forum, and before barging on to the question in the subject line, let me introduce myself. I think that is the polite thing to do.

The name is Icingsugar. Well, it's not. But you know, cool aliases are all the fad these days. And as the coward I am, I enjoy hiding behind them. In real life however, I am a tall, blond, blue eyed viking from Sweden. Happily engaged, soon married, and expecting a toddler in about six months.

I am a writer. Which means I write novels and essays, am lucky enough to get some of them published, and sell enough to pay the rent. Well, barely. This is not John Grisham speaking. As I write for teens and young adults, the themes and actual scenes can not always be as challenging as I'd want to though.

So that's why I'm here.

I've read stories here for about a year now, and find the vast majority of what I read to be of top quality. (And before you ask: Yes, my fiancée knows about it - she was the one who showed me the place in the first place. Ya gotta love a girl like that.)

So I thought "Yey, coudn't I do that too?" So I did. It would be a good opportunity to sharpen my English skills (I normally write in my native tounge) and to explore some themes and ideas that would never never make it to print

I have this story project going that is close to finished. There is a storyline, lots of dialouge, character development and interaction and an erotic situation that I'm quite satisfied with. But one important aspect of it annoys me. There is one thing that I find it hard to put into words.

The sex. Actual sex is difficult.

Sure, I know how to do it. But how the hell do I write it? I had planned a pretty elaborate...well...humping session as the centerpiece of the story. But as I reat it back, I honestly think it sucks. It quickly gets dull, repetitive and quite ridiculous. I mean how many time can you say "cock" until you choke on it? (Pun intended, thankyouverymuch.)

I need help. I need inspiration. I need weed. No, strike that.

I need answers. How does other authors pull it off? What can one to do keep a good flow through a lenthy sex scene? What good examples of this should I read and be inspired by?

And I need feedback. Would anyone be willling to take a look at what I've written, and see if they can see what I'm doing wrong?

I'd really appreciate some assistance here. And I hope I can get over my writer's block and share this, and other stories of mine with you fellas.

cheers!
/Icingsugar

 

[gauchecritic]

Well I seem to be the first reader Icing, I've been told I give good critique so if you want to send it to me I will happily read it for you.

One proviso. I can only offer my opinion of what works for me. I write 'stroke' (stuff to wank to) so maybe you should first read one of mine (or glance over it) before you commit yourself.

There are a great many good and 'worthy'? authors here who will be glad to give you criticism (some of them really hard criticism, enough to make you cry) but I will also point out that asking for criticism in the Author's Hangout is frowned upon. The place for that is Story Feedback.

Having said that. Feel free to post it to me via Gauchecritic@yahoo.com. Or PM or whatever.

Welcome to the zoo.

Gauche

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Ice-man,

We'll have to get you and Svenskaflicka together for a round of old Norse ballads. Welcome on board and congratulations on the inchoate wife and kid.

There is a recent thread by Cookiejar "Please Tell Me" which asks much the same question as you have about writing "love scenes". I've "bumped" it back up and suggest you give it a look-see.

IMHO, it'd be great if there was a Lit forum or even a thread in the Story Discussion Circle dedicated to getting better at writing "love scenes." Maybe folks could post short pieces, say 1000 words (or if from my life story-much, much shorter) for others to critique.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Icingsugar]

gauchecritic:
One proviso. I can only offer my opinion of what works for me. I write 'stroke' (stuff to wank to) so maybe you should first read one of mine (or glance over it) before you commit yourself.

I think I actually have read one of your stories, I seem to recognise the name. I'll look them over. What I wank to doesn't have to be what other pepole wank to, y'know.

And thanks for the advise. I'll poke around in the Story Feedback dept and see what I find. To my defence though, I must say the the descrption of the forums that one seemed more like a place for public reviews. Maybe I should had had a look inside it too?

 

[Icingsugar]

Thanks Rumple. That thread did wonders. I've already got a few ideas on how to proceed. I think I just might pull this off. Would be too bad if I didn't. I've got five more synopsis in the pipeline...

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Ice-man,

Good luck. I first came dragging up here hoping to improve my own writing of "love scenes." (my actual performance is beyond hope) A quick check of my stuff will testify that I haven't even come close to mastering the suckers yet, but I keep trying.

Let me know if you'd like me to take a look a some of your stuff. A lot of the other folks around here would probably be willing to do the same.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Wantonica]

I'd like to add something from a female POV. Whether this is the proper place to do so or not... hmmm, I just want to share. A few mornings ago, I was home alone, cleaning house, and sat down to watch TV. Flicking through the channels, I landed on Playboy TV. They were having a 1 1/2 hour movie; a love story with some explicit sex here and there amidst the love. WOW! It was the best "porno?" movie I ever watched. I don't mind porno, but this was exceptional. Just my two cents, no change required.

Hugs,
Wantonica

 

[Weird Harold]

I'd like to add something from a female POV. Whether this is the proper place to do so or not...

They were having a 1 1/2 hour movie; a love story with some explicit sex here and there amidst the love. WOW! It was the best "porno?" movie I ever watched.

I think this is the perfect plce for that observation, because it gives me the example I need to make a point I've been trying to put into words since I first saw this thread.

In many ways, writing a good sex scene is as much about making it fit smoothly into the story as it is about how to write the scene itself.

A raunchy sex scene with lots of graphic details and abusive language fits perfectly in a story about a slut getting gang-banged, but is going to completely destroy the mood of a romantic love story.

Also, I've found that, even in an outright porn story, the sex has to "fit" into the story before I can enjoy it. If the sex scene seems to be added simply to make the story qualify for a site that requires eachstory to have some sex in it, it just doesn't work as well as it does if the sex is "an integral part of the story."

I suspect that many authors who have trouble writing graphic sex scenes are dealing with characters who would rather "draw the drapes and turn the lights out before engaging in sex" and don't want the details laid out for all to see. In other words, the story doesn't need graphic details and doesn't lead the reader to expect graphic details.

I've abandoned a couple of stories because I just couldn't make a good sex scene fit into them without forcing a gratutitious sex scene into an otherwise good story, which in turn "destroyed" the story.

Graphic sex doesn't make a story better unless the story needs graphic sex to be complete. When a story has graphic sex it doesn't need it suffers as much (or more) than a story that needs graphic sex and doesn't have it.

 

[TheEarl]

Welcome IS. Hope you enjoy the boards as much as you’ve enjoyed the stories.

One place to get your story looked at is to sign it up for a workshop in the Story Discussion Circle (https://forum.literotica.com/forumdisplay.php?s=&forumid=14). We’re mostly harmless and usually quite helpful.

I always tend to write quite graphic sex scenes with a lot of description of actions. The trick is to avoid the instruction manual ‘He did this. Then she did that. He moaned’ style. Avoid superfluous use of the words cock and pussy as you’ll find there are hundreds of times when you have to say them. There’s no need to add more. Tell us how things feel to your characters, especially what they’re thinking. Even if it means resorting to a hackneyed metaphor, readers are going to appreciate you replacing ‘She wrapped her hand around his dick’ with ‘He groaned as her hand wrapped around his dick. Even this light touch was almost enough to send him over the edge.’

I guess my point is – Sex is a physical and mental thing. The trick to describing it is to tell the reader what it feels like and what your characters are thinking. Then the rest will fall into place.

I know gauche has volunteered already, but if you want my help then feel free to send it to theearl666@hotmail.com

The Earl

 

[Guest]

Invading the Boy's Club

IS-

Welcome!

It sounds like you are receiving a great welcome and getting advice from some of the best. I posted some of my thoughts to CJ's thread, so I won't be redundant.

If you would like a estrogen laden perspective on your story, I can be persuaded.

And, I hope you know that babies don't pop out toddling...

b

 

[ffreak]

Let me add my welcome. I am pretty new here myself. As said above, the sex has to fit in, and in my opinion, it should drive the story forward. You haven't mentioned yet what category you expect your stories to fit into and that will make a difference to the critiques you seek.

Central to a 'love' scene are the people involved. What do they think about getting into the scene and what do they think about what is happening in the scene?

 

[English Lady]

hello and welcome!

again if you still want someone to read over what you've got I'd be quite happy to help! just send me a PM if you want or email me(i think my email addy is in my profile*L*)


my only advice is not to force it,to use a terrible pun,just let it cum! sex scenes are difficault to write, you just have to let the characters have free reign really,and that isn't always easy because their sex scene might not be exactly what you imagined them to be.



I am sure you will get it eventually....the only way to succeed is to try!

 

[Icingsugar]

In many ways, writing a good sex scene is as much about making it fit smoothly into the story as it is about how to write the scene itself.

A raunchy sex scene with lots of graphic details and abusive language fits perfectly in a story about a slut getting gang-banged, but is going to completely destroy the mood of a romantic love story.

Spot on! My first attempts at writing the juicy bits of my ongoing story sufffered from exactly that. But I think I found the right tone by now. The story itself is quite the mix between soft and rough and the sex should be that too, i realised. I have rewritten many segments now, and concentrates more on the main character's emotions and reactions during the act thean on the actual bumpin' of uglies.

I might as well spill out the theme of the story I'm working on. It one of those Family Fun stories with the reluctant daughter getting it on with pretty much the whole clan.

I know it is a cliché theme, but that was why I chose it. This is an excersise in writing erotica, so I chose a setting that was easy to build a story around. And the challenge of keeping the characters alive and beliveable through the whole thing was pretty interresting.

I'm almost done now. I have one explicit segment left to write and a fet loose ends to tie up. But I think it works pretty well. I don't even think the grammar nazisare gonna have too much to complain about.

I'll submit it in a day or two. If you're curious, I'll post a beep about it on the Feedback forum.

 

[Icingsugar]

Re: Invading the Boy's Club

And, I hope you know that babies don't pop out toddling...

I'm shocked. SHOCKED I say!

 

[dr_mabeuse]

This topic should be given permanent status at the very top of the Hangout. It's pretty much whatthis whole thing is about, isn;t it?

Sex is probably the most emotionally and physically intense experience life offers most of us (right up there with going to the dentist), so it's no wonder that it's difficult to write about. When you think about what's invoved in a simple seduction scene--desire, lust, fear, trust, aggression, surrender, passion, revelation--and then add in a description of what's actually going on physically, it can get pretty dense.

The worst sex scenes for me are the ones that fail to take the richness of the experience into consideration. Usually they focus on the physical what-goes-where end of it, the kind of "shopping list" of activities that Earl referred to, and they produce a very flat and basically dull recounting of bodies slapping together. They can work--sometimes you want that depersonalization--but usually they're the kind of thing that makes reading erotica downright embarrassing and gives porn such a bad rap.

I guess you've got to ask yourself just what it is that interests you about the sex you're writing about. My own feeling is that we read stories because we're interested in the characters, not the characters' organs, and the most erotic thing for me is what the characters reveal and discover about themselves as they fall under an erotic spell. It's always about the dynamic between the two people, becaause it is dynamic. Power and focus are constantly changing as the lovers go at each other, giving and taking.

I tend to write very graphic and detailed sex scenes, but I like to focus on those physical details and acts that reveal what the characters are feeling and thinking as well as doing. The way they do things is at least as important as what they do, and I'm always aware of that. I like to show what's happening in their head and heart during the sex, not just in the gonads, so ai always look for those revelatory details: the facial expression, the body posture, thinks like that. Concrete and sensual, usually.

If it's done right, I think every sexual act is an entire story right there: tension, build-up, a literal climax, and a resolution.

If you want to see what I'm talking about, a siingle sex act presented as a story, click on my Cabinet link and look at the story "Star Girl". I'm not above giving an honest plug.

---dr.M.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

In real life however, I am a tall, blond, blue eyed viking from Sweden. Happily engaged, soon married, and expecting a toddler in about three months.

You mean that you and your girlfriend have had sex before your weddingnight???????

You're embarrassing us Swedes internationally!

 

[sirhugs]

my technique is to picture the action like a movie in my brain, then reduce it to wwords, trying not to repeat the obvious body part descriptions in the same words too often. If the 'movie' gets boring, I go read some good Lit stories for inspiration- works every tiime.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Re: Re: How the heck do I write about it?

You mean that you and your girlfriend have had sex before your weddingnight???????

You're embarrassing us Swedes internationally!

Sweat it not, Svenska. He's also a writer. To most folks, that explains everything.

Rumple (the writer) Foreskin

 

[Icingsugar]

Re: Re: Re: How the heck do I write about it?

Sweat it not, Svenska. He's also a writer. To most folks, that explains everything.

Rumple (the writer) Foreskin

Dang. I just know threre is an insult in there somewhere. But I'll be damned if I find it.

 

[pop_54]

Hmmmmmm

Yeppers, ice, difficult to make it interesting and cock/fanny rousing without being repetitive and degenerating into nonsense.

I can't be much help I haven't perfected it yet, just thought I'd say hello and sympathise.

I try to invent new words and descriptions as it goes on, with little success. But how long can you write about a sex act without repeating yourself, although according to research the average time a guy keeps his weapon up a female is measured in minutes, units not tens at that.
I think it's something like 5 minutes or less, so it shouldn't take all that long to write about.

A pops silly example, of the use of made up words and attempts to avoid being repetitive during the average fuck, sorry sex scene.

Mylon gently eased his horse like weapon into Millie's warm wet orifice, the bed creaked wildly, Millie rocked back and forth with the rythm of Mylon's pounding, the sweet smells of sexual arousal filled the air around them, the sounds of her sexual arousal filled Mylon with lust, the sweet squelches and slurps of her soaking wet love chamber could be heard in the street outside, Mylon lifted himself onto his hands raised above Millie as he continued to bang his monster cock into her like a steam hammer, looking down on her, taking her, using her body for his pleasure, Millie raised herself onto her elbows in order to see as well as feel the lovely sensation of Mylon's above average love pole sliding in and out of her hot wet cunt hole, "My God you're good", she screamed out nearing orgasm, her body quivered, her eyes closed, the tingling sensations began to build inside her, her arse cheeks tensed, she beagn to feel weak, Mylon began pounding his Mutton dagger in and out harder and faster, harder and faster, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Yessssssssssssssss", he screamed at the top of his voice as he emptied the contents of his bollocks inside Millie with several final thrusts, his balls tense, his cock pulsing with every last drop of his spunk as it pumped in with the force of a fire pump, "no, no, not yet", screamed Millie, "I'm on the verge you bastard, I'm unfulfilled", as Mylon rolled off and lit a fag, (cigarette US guys and gals, he didn't set fire to a queer), "My God that was the best three and a half minutes of my life, how was it for you", he mumbled. Poor Millie.

I don't think I'd use the above, but hey, maybe I would.

 

[Icingsugar]

Mutton dagger?

Now, there's a gem.

 

[Lovepotion69]

Wow, another Swede?

Great! We can all write post in Swedish just to piss everyone off...

Regarding your question about writing sex scenes. Heck, I'm having the same problem myself. By now I just write whatever comes to my mind. I try to think of movies I've seen, books I've read (even at times have some to take a peek in), and also draw from own experiences of course.

/LP

 

[champagne1982]

Hello Icingsugar,

Welcome to the AH. I can empathize with your situation to a degree. My weakness isn't the sex, I manage that well enough, it's character development that I need to work on.

But back to sex, I've found that inventing a metaphor to play with will help take you through the gritty bits of sexual bliss. If you go that route, instead of a pussy, your lady can be possessed of a caldera of molten magma and your manly lover should be able to erupt in a pyroclastic flow down the slopes of her quaking thighs. I'm sure you get my continental drift and will be subducting beneath my fault zone any time now.

p.s. If we're slipping in shameless plugs, I think you should invest a moment and read my story The Ecstacy. A friend told me it was as close as he's ever come to feeling like he was fucking while reading about sex.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Icing, 69... avslöja inte för jänkarna om vår hemliga komplott för att ta över Lit och göra om den till en svensk site.

 

[Lovepotion69]

Icing, 69... avslöja inte för jänkarna om vår hemliga komplott för att ta över Lit och göra om den till en svensk site.

Du har rätt. Vi borde skriva mängder med noveller på svenska, och lägga dem i alla kategorierna. Sen invaderar vi alla forum.