How much of your bedroom Ds carry over in to real life?

[emme8]

So I was half listening to my mom as she rambled on the other day as I was doing dishes after dinner. But she was being really critical of me for allowing Bob to control me and make to many decisions for the family. My mom is like Wilma Flintstone and she allowed my dad to handle everything. She is somewhat correct, I drive the car he picked, most of my clothes he bought me, I work and he spends the money. A total flip from the Flintstones.
So I was getting very annoyed. But I had to laugh. I couldn't and wouldn't, but I really wanted to call Bob over and tell him to drop his pants a show her his cock cage.

Anyone else have similar experiences

 

[Wonderer67]

Anyone else have similar experiences?

Not like that! My mom or MIL would shit her pants if that happened.

But I often wonder what sexual and personal dynamics are like for people who live together and engage in sexual power dynamics?

When does play end? When does “reality” (dealing with kids, house,
Bills, work etc) take over?) Do the two ever blend?

My wife is not tremendously dominant in every day life, altho she does a great job when we’re playing and when we’re not playing it feels like a really good 50/50 even dynamic. She does certain things, I do other things.
I guess the biggest blend that we do when my kids are not at home, is that I will do a lot of housework naked.

 

[Goldenfinger]

So I was getting very annoyed. But I had to laugh. I couldn't and wouldn't, but I really wanted to call Bob over and tell him to drop his pants a show her his cock cage.

Anyone else have similar experiences

In my situation my wife is dominate and I’m submissive. It wasn’t also so but things change and I had a need for her to take control and she was happy to. There are some thing I’m better at and she would defer to my experience. She does pick out my cloths and alway has but I have no style. I was in the military for 20 plus year and would still wear my utilities. She pays the household bills and I do long term planing. So we are a team and she is the team leader.

 

[IrisAlthea]

So I was half listening to my mom as she rambled on the other day as I was doing dishes after dinner. But she was being really critical of me for allowing Bob to control me and make to many decisions for the family. My mom is like Wilma Flintstone and she allowed my dad to handle everything. She is somewhat correct, I drive the car he picked, most of my clothes he bought me, I work and he spends the money. A total flip from the Flintstones.
So I was getting very annoyed. But I had to laugh. I couldn't and wouldn't, but I really wanted to call Bob over and tell him to drop his pants a show her his cock cage.

Anyone else have similar experiences

No structured Ds here but I can relate to having others question the percieved power structure in our relationship.

Can’t say it has been as direct as you described very often and I’m rather ruthless about telling people that I appreciate the concern but will ask for their opinion when I feel the need for it (or when hell freezes over in some cases), so not many repeat offenders.

Having family and friends in different countries/cultures means a certain amount of comparing though and sometimes I think we are seen more as an example of Swedish relationships (which I don’t think fits) rather than Iris’ and Mr Althea’s relationship.

It’s kind of funny though, because the comments have ranged from some being upset that we don’t adhere enough to traditional gender roles, to others being upset that I’m too much of an old-fashioned wife.
Some people even manage to somehow hold both positions simultaneously.

 

[emme8]

A lot of people just like to critique us.

I usually try no to let it get to me. They're not living my life. And I definitely don't want to live theirs.

And with my mom, she is struggling with having to learn and take over many of the household chores my dad always did for her as my dad becomes more confused with old age. I choose to interpret her criticism as concern.

 

[DevotedHusband1]

Great idea for a thread. Our relationship is interesting because we are not into heavy BDSM and a lot of the dominant/submissive energy between us actually happens outside the bedroom.

My queen is naturally strong-willed and controlling and has a very powerful psychic hold on me, and it affects every aspect of our relationship. She wants us to have a queen-knight relationship where I am strong and manly but also very chivalrous and deferential to her.

She has very strict rules about the tone and manner in which I may talk to her and the things that I can say. Backtalk, sarcasm, and raising my voice are strictly prohibited. She, of course, may express herself as she sees fit and gives me a stern talking-to any time she thinks I deserve one. When this happens, my job is to listen and say "yes dear" at appropriate times. There are no arguments in my queen's household. And it's fine for the rule to be that she is always right because honestly, she always is. She is much wiser and more practical than I am, and I benefit from her guidance.

She makes all the decisions. She may ask for my input but she doesn't have to. She picks the movie on Friday night and she picks the music in the car. If she tells me that I'm cleaning out the garage on my day off then I'm cleaning out the garage on my day off. No discussion.

When she is upset with me she will spend the day giving the cold shoulder, and it causes me an insane amount of mental anguish. I really can't stand it. When this happens, at the end of the day, when she is relaxing in bed, I will approach her, kiss her foot, and ask for permission to speak. If it is granted, I will apologize profusely and talk about what I did wrong and how I plan to do better next time. Sometimes she is satisfied with this, but sometimes she has me bring her her heavy wooden hairbrush and she gives me whatever additional correction she thinks is needed.

After the kids go to bed, I get naked, serve her a glass of wine, and lotion her feet while she tells me about her day and I hang on every word while sporting a raging hard-on. This usually leads to sex, but if it doesn't then I must gallantly accept that.

Nothing makes me happier than doing what she tells me and following her rules. When I am following all the rules and performing well in bed, she is usually pleased with me. I love it when she squeezes my butt or my bicep and tells me what a good husband I am. I would do anything for her approval, and it is a privilege to serve her.

 

[HumpDayHoratio]

Dear Jeezbus! After reading through this thread, I think I’m a sub, I just didn’t know it! Our dynamic is very close to @Goldenfinger and @DevotedHusband1 (minus the getting naked and serving wine part, although I may try that!) . The difference is we fight for dominance which causes considerable friction.

Maybe i need to let her win?

 

[emme8]

Maybe i need to let her win?

Yes, always let her win.

 

[Goldenfinger]

Dear Jeezbus! After reading through this thread, I think I’m a sub, I just didn’t know it! Our dynamic is very close to @Goldenfinger and @DevotedHusband1 (minus the getting naked and serving wine part, although I may try that!) . The difference is we fight for dominance which causes considerable friction.

Maybe i need to let her win?

If you think your sub why the fight for dominance?