How Much Do You Empathize With Your Characters?

[anthrodisiac]

For clarification, empathy is informally described as being able to feel the feelings of another person. Not to be confused with sympathy, which is the outward expression of emotion.

If you want to get technical, from the American Psychological Association's Dictionary: empathy, n. understanding a person from their frame of reference rather than one’s own, or vicariously experiencing that person’s feelings, perceptions, and thoughts.

When you're writing, how close do you feel to your characters? Do you feel what they feel, experience their joys and heartbreaks? Or are you more of a neutral observer?

Related question: Does your level of connection with a character change based on whether you're writing them or if you're reading somebody else's work?

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Constantly. I feel that it is my duty to feel the emotions of my characters, as I feel that writing is essentially conveying emotions onto the page. It is very difficult for me to get those emotions onto the page, strong enough for the reader to pick them up if I am not feeling those emotions myself.

Yes, I have laughed and shouted for joy at times when I write my characters winning/coming out on top. Yes, I have cried on more than one occasion when putting my characters through hell. I need to do more of that. I feel that it is one area of my craft where I should push myself to improve.

 

[MelissaBaby]

Always. I’ve written here extensively on the subject. For me, it’s everything, it’s the foundation of all my writing.

 

[stickygirl]

I confess there are some passages, even in my older stories, where I can't speak for crying ( empathetically ). I wrote the damned words so I know what's coming, but I end up so much in the scene... Other emotions are there - anger, humour but not as intensely.

 

[ADirtyPerv]

I write to feel. Rereading what I've written dredges up old emotions, and a lot of what I write are memories, sexy things or dates or whatever that I've done with my wife. Other than writing, my emotions are muted, gray, frustrating balls of bullshit (eyyy writing as therapy!).

So my empathy with my characters is crucial to my writing as a whole. They all carry a piece of me, and they feel what they feel in my place. I feel achy with them, I feel their love, their tenderness. And I read the nasty things they do to each other, and...uh... Well, that's good too.

 

[TheExperimentalist]

Empathizing with my characters is the only way I've found to write that actually works for me. All of my main characters are basically aspects of myself. I've laughed with my characters. I've cried with them more times than I can count. I've wished I could BE them (usually wishing I could experience both sides of the encounter).

Does your level of connection with a character change based on whether you're writing them or if you're reading somebody else's work?

It's not often, and it depends how well written they are and how much I can relate to them, but sometimes I can empathize as much with other people's characters as I can with my own, yes. On extremely rare occasion even more so than with my own characters, which always makes me feel like I want to improve my own writing further. I wrote another thread in the story feedback section several weeks ago about the most profoundly I'd ever been affected by a story I'd read on here. I was losing myself in the character, fearing for myself and wondering if I would ever pull myself back out of the story again. It was the most amazing thing I've ever experienced while reading, and I wouldn't have believed it could happen if someone had just described it to me.

Writing is great, and I've said many times that I write the stories I wish already existed for me to read, but there's also something rewarding about reading a character that you connect to so fully, and not knowing what's going to happen to them. It's a rare experience to connect that closely with a character that I'm not writing myself.

eyyy writing as therapy

Same!

 

[VerbalAbuse]

I read the nasty things they do to each other

anal sex?

 

[ElectricBlue]

When you're writing, how close do you feel to your characters? Do you feel what they feel, experience their joys and heartbreaks? Or are you more of a neutral observer?

Someone a long time ago described my style as, "Getting right up close to them, sharing the pillow, whereas I want to go out and close the door." I want to get inside the heads of my characters.

Related question: Does your level of connection with a character change based on whether you're writing them or if you're reading somebody else's work?

More so my own writing, I think, because the stories are a reflection of me, my psyche, my loves and desires.

 

[LegendInMyOwnMind]

First of all, most of my MMCs are self-inserts. So I have a strong basis for empathy right there, feeling MMC's feelings comes naturally. My 1P writing style no doubt enhances that reaction. In the most extreme case, I always cry MMC's tears. Anita's death scene in my very first story has me crying MMC's tears in rivers. Every re-reading--and I wrote that story eight years ago.

My reactions to my FMCs have evolved over time. It is always a pale shadow of falling in love IRL. But my empathy for FMCs has grown over time. Now I find it easier to feel their feelings and cry their tears.

In my current romance WIP, I'm actually crying FMC's tears harder than MMC's.

I realize this shows a feminine undercurrent in my psyche. I'm an undoubtedly cisgender male. But in Jungian terms, my anima likes to come out and play.

So what? Slap my ass and call me Ms. Then keep right on fucking me.

 

[BobbyBrandt]

In my opinion, if an author isn't empathizing with any character, he/she shouldn't be writing that character.

Readers will know if a character is written in an emotional vacuum.

 

[ADirtyPerv]

anal sex?

LMAO. Yes, constantly. Anal is my kink. But it's all incest, so squick alert.

 

[SimonDoom]

Somewhat, but it depends on the story and the character, and I probably do this less than many other authors do.

My stories tend to be concept/fantasy driven, as opposed to character driven. Sometimes the fantasy calls for a character that I want to empathize with, and sometimes it doesn't.

I would say there probably is a correlation between how much I have empathized with a character in a story and thought of that character as "real" and how positively the story has been received. It's often important for the story to make the reader feel engaged with the character.

 

[THBGato]

If you want to get technical, from the American Psychological Association's Dictionary: empathy, n. understanding a person from their frame of reference rather than one’s own, or vicariously experiencing that person’s feelings, perceptions, and thoughts.

When you're writing, how close do you feel to your characters? Do you feel what they feel, experience their joys and heartbreaks?

I'm very close. I had to take a little break from Literotica Dec-Feb 2024-2025 because I found myself being so emotionally caught up with my characters I was bursting into tears all the time.

 

[stickygirl]

If we, as authors, don't feel empathy for our characters, how can we expect our readers to? Maybe there's a few sociopaths that write and feel zero ...

 

[pink_silk_glove]

If we, as authors, don't feel empathy for our characters, how can we expect our readers to?

Exactly this. I've said it many times.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

anal sex?

Don’t knock it till you try it. Just be clean and plenty of lube.

 

[Voboy]

How much do I empathize with my characters?

Given that my characters' thoughts, feelings, and actions are literally why I write, I'd say I empathize with them a great deal...

When I abandon stories, it's usually because I stop finding the characters interesting.

 

[Bloodandglitter]

How much do I empathize with my characters?

Given that my characters' thoughts, feelings, and actions are literally why I write, I'd say I empathize with them a great deal...

When I abandon stories, it's usually because I stop finding the characters interesting.

I agree

 

[vanmyers86]

All of the characters I create are literally a part of me. It would be weird if I didn't empathize with them!

 

[crookedletter]

Probably better than I empathize with real people. Maybe I should get that looked at.

 

[StrentWriter]

I discovered this afternoon the strangest sensation when, having planned a plot point and a tryst between one character and a new one in my series, I ended the writing abruptly having felt betrayed by myself in what I had written.

So much of my writing is based on real experience that when it edges close to a lived in memory it definitely hurts more than I intended, psychologically.

 

[MrPixel]

Oh, yeah, I have empathy with my characters, in spades. I just finished a thriller/horror tale where I had to pause multiple times writing scenes because I was feeling the MMC's and FMC's fear, angst, and panic, very intensely.

 

[ADirtyPerv]

I discovered this afternoon the strangest sensation when, having planned a plot point and a tryst between one character and a new one in my series, I ended the writing abruptly having felt betrayed by myself in what I had written.

So much of my writing is based on real experience that when it edges close to a lived in memory it definitely hurts more than I intended, psychologically.

Oh no, is Peta already cheating on Sam?

 

[Britva415]

When you're writing, how close do you feel to your characters? Do you feel what they feel, experience their joys and heartbreaks? Or are you more of a neutral observer?

It seems like you're describing the difference between normal empathy (awareness, ability to relate) versus supernatural empathy (mind meld, Corsican Twins type sensory projection).

A writer who has no empathy at all could only write a character whose feelings are entirely absent from the story - or, at least, absent from the reader's experience of the story. A non-empathetic writer can write "she got mad" but can't make the reader care.

 

[StrentWriter]

Oh no, is Peta already cheating on Sam?

You’ll have to read the sequel to find out!

And who says it wasn’t Sam???