How Many? Should I?

[JustDivorced2021]

Recently made friends with someone and throughout our discussion it came up with the number of partners she has been with. 82 was her number and she is just a little older than me at 33. I was kinda shocked by hearing that, but now she wants to take me under her wing. She says "Now that you are free and divorced honey, it is time to get you some experience." I am heavily considering taking her up on her offer. So, How many cocks have you (if female), your wife or girlfriend had? Comment Below. Give details if you want. Lets see what you have to say. Should I let her take me under her wing?

 

[Islander55]

Nothing wrong with getting some strange cock but I think one needs to be a bit careful these days. I would suggest caution and quality over quantity but you are a big girl so should know what you want. I am 63 and have had 20 different men. Certainly not in your friends league but still quite a few fond memories.

 

[JustDivorced2021]

Nothing wrong with getting some strange cock but I think one needs to be a bit careful these days. I would suggest caution and quality over quantity but you are a big girl so should know what you want. I am 63 and have had 20 different men. Certainly not in your friends league but still quite a few fond memories.

Absolutely. Safety is number 1 priority.

 

[Lost_Yonder]

How many have you had to date?

I don't think the number of different guys one sleeps with makes for experiences - if all of it is unfulfilling sex, what's the point? Having one where you can explore different realms of pleasure and push your own boundaries would be much more rewarding, in my book, then having many mediocre lovers.

 

[KinoKe]

I am not sure that it matters how many cocks a woman has had. But I do get the impressions that, for her own sake, it is probably best if she has a reason for each of them. Some women have a reason for three or four. Other women have a reason for thirty plus.

And, as for being taken under your friend's wing, only you can decide if that is what you want.

 

[littlecordelera]

I don't want to have sex with anyone who keeps track of how many lovers they have had.

 

[NickCarraway12]

I don't know that I need to know number. I just know that it's a LOT. She talked about one-night stands in college and afterwards. I'd like to know more details, I think. Like, what types of guys? ex-cons, businessmen, frat-boys....I know she's been with Hispanic and White men, but what about Black or Asian men? Does she have a type she prefers? Was it me or was I just at the right place at the right time and she fell in love with me?

I'm not offended. She could say "300" and I'd nod and move on with our lives, but I'd be curious.

 

[Asian_Flower]

None of your business

 

[honeysmack]

If you want to experience more cocks, then by all means take her up on her offer if you’re comfortable with the game plan and you trust her. But I don’t believe anyone else can quantify how much sexual experience you “should” have had - I don’t feel it’s helpful to compare yourself to other people in this way, especially over some silly ol’ number.

Someone’s “number” doesn’t say anything about what they learned from it all, how much emotional, mental or physical pleasure they gave or received, whether they’re happy with all or some or none of the people that make up their total, what they gained from different sexual experiences that didn’t involve sleeping with someone, or anything else.

Everybody needs different things and takes away different things from their experiences; don’t put pressure on yourself to live up to some arbitrary number just because it’s smaller than someone else’s. You know best what you need and what will fulfil you.

No matter what you choose to do, I hope your journey is safe and full of self-discovery and pleasure, and an absolute blast

 

[Escierto]

How many cocks is enough? One if it’s the right cock. I would die content if my transgender girlfriend was the only cock I ever experienced in my life.

 

[Dendeze]

How many cocks is enough? One if it’s the right cock. I would die content if my transgender girlfriend was the only cock I ever experienced in my life.

People are different...some like to mix things up.

I'm not saying she should have sex to get her body count up...
But if she wants to have fun with more than one person, why not?

 

[Escierto]

People are different...some like to mix things up.

I'm not saying she should have sex to get her body count up...
But if she wants to have fun with more than one person, why not?

True. People are different with different aspirations in life.

 

[Dendeze]

It's not unheard of, although it's up there I think.

But I don't think fucking guys for the sake of fucking guys should be a goal..'Not unless that is YOUR thing...don't do it because it's somebody else's thing

 

[CandK_inSE]

Along similar lines, I "dated" a woman for about three weeks who just got out of a ten year marriage which lacked intimacy. I was the first guy she went out with after it was final.

Second time I saw her, we ended up in bed.

Third time, same thing, and the sex was intense.

Fourth time, I spent the night with her.

Fifth time, same thing.

She was the first woman I had who was waxed. She also had a cute little heart tattoo on her lower back that she told me to use as a "target" for cumming.

She told me she did all that to make herself feel sexy because she was "free" and wanted to explore sexually. I was cool with that.

A few days later, I get an email from her saying that although I was "incredible" and treated her like she wanted to be treated, she said that sex with me was too "intimate" and it felt too much like "love" rather than just the raw sex that she claimed to have wanted. She didn't want to "fall in love" with me, as she wanted to explore her "inner slut".

Ok, whatever.

A few months later, I saw her while out with my girlfriend at the time. She comes over, says hi and small chit chat. I ask her how things are going with her "thing". She says its not what she thought, and would rather have a steady boyfriend. Obviously not going to go deep with my girlfriend there, but it didn't appear that she was all too happy.

 

[TwoHeadsBald]

I am fine with someone that stopped counting. But never tell me you have only been with two guys.

 

[oneblueye]

hey...

How many have you had to date?

I don't think the number of different guys one sleeps with makes for experiences - if all of it is unfulfilling sex, what's the point? Having one where you can explore different realms of pleasure and push your own boundaries would be much more rewarding, in my book, then having many mediocre lovers.

Yeah-, but FIRST she has to find 'one' that she would like to explore with doesn't she?
I mean, who goes into a shoe store going, Yeah I know I wear a size six but I really like these size fours and maybe they'll stretch.

 

[policywank]

I think that sexual exploration is a good thing. And experiencing some variety in your lovers allows you to develop reference points and a broader perspective.

However, I don't think that the absolute number of lovers you have is all that relevant.....in either direction. Quantity does not equal quality but nor does a large number imply a lack of quality interactions.

My advice would be to forget about the numbers but give yourself license to explore without the weight of expectations. The starting place for that is to let go of the notion that you have lost something or have somehow compromised yourself if you do have an unsatisfying sexual experience. It will probably happen so treat it like anything else in life that doesn't quite work out - as a learning experience, not something to regret.

Equally important is to take charge of your sex life and be in control of who/what you pursue. Too often our culture portrays the options for women as being either one-night stands with the greasy douche-bag you met at the bar or a life long commitment with the nice guy down the street. Human sexuality is a lot more diverse than that. There are lots of guys who are happy to engage in intimate, quality but non-exclusive relationships that don't fit either of those stereotypes.

Either way you have to take charge of managing your sexual dynamics. Of course that includes safety but it also includes identifying what interests you and pursuing it/them (if you just sit back and respond to guys that approach you then you are, in effect, letting them set the menu). And don't beat yourself up too much if you make a mistake - experiencing variety sometimes means taking the good with the bad.

 

[littlecordelera]

Quantity does not equal quality but nor does a large number imply a lack of quality interactions.

Policywank, I am going to have to disagree with you on this one. If a person is in their mid 30's and they have already had 82 lovers, then quality was definitely not a priority.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

All that I’ll say is:

Make sure you protect yourself. Diseases don’t come with preferences. You can trust yourself, can you trust that other person to be responsible? If you don’t care, excuse me for interrupting.

If that’s the lifestyle choice you want to explore, do you really want a pimp? Make your own decision and choice based on YOUR comfort zone, not someone else’s. If you’re fine with it, disregard the earlier statement.

Covid is still rampant. The flu and hospital stays are down due to encouraging EVERYONE to washing their hands, covering their faces and making space. If this means nothing to you, it’s none of my business.

Lastly, having sex just for kicks is a choice. At least value yourself more than something cheaper than the $1 menu from McDonald’s. I’d give this advice to anyone whether they be male, female or non-binary. Again, your lifestyle is yours. Who am I to speak into it?

 

[policywank]

Policywank, I am going to have to disagree with you on this one. If a person is in their mid 30's and they have already had 82 lovers, then quality was definitely not a priority.

I was not commenting on this particular individual. But I do believe that it is not for any of us to judge the quality of someone else's sex life based solely upon number of partners.

Besides, who gets to determine what 'quality' means. We aren't all obliged to want the same things.

Suppose I go to a social event and meet dozens of people all in an informal setting with brief friendly conversations. Or suppose I take a weekend trip to Paris and spend my time doing a once over quickly tour of key tourist attractions rather than immersing myself in the local culture. It is entirely possible that I will have a wonderful time and not think of those events or any interactions as lacking in quality. They might not have had the depth of connection or experience that I might have had in different circumstances. But maybe that is not what I was looking for. And enjoying those experience for what they were does not preclude me from taking a completely different approach the next time around.

The basic premise that each sexual encounter lacks quality if it lacks depth is flawed unless a deeper connection is what you were seeking. I have been to swingers or sex parties where I had sex with several men in one night and had a great time. I chose the men and engaged only in the activities that appealed to me. Hell I have had quality experiences with my vibrator. And yet I still have a much deeper connection with my husband and my regular lovers. Those things are all different but they didn't lack quality because I did what I wanted and enjoyed myself. Other people don't get to tell me what I should want or view as a quality time.

 

[newhere2learn]

Ex wife was 31 when we split. She'd had "between 50&60" before we met. Through affairs I've found out about, another half dozen. And think she's had 3-4 since.

So she's now 33 and must be pushing 70cocks.

Me, mid 30s male. Had 12 women and 6guys.