How many others are there.

[weathered2]

I just noticed Miss Victoria's post for feedback to her super story she wrote for Halloween. My first story, "The Long Weekend", was just accepted today. This not only my first story "published", this is also the first story I've written since high school. Let's just say that was quite a while ago.

I would actually welcome not only feedback on the story, which I'm sure warrants many helpful suggestions, but would also appreciate comments on the subject I inquire about in the story intro.

Due to the subject, male bi-curiosity, the story appears in the "Gay Male" section. I'm told there is a way to do a link. I'm still working on that; they didn't have Nintendo when I was a kid, ("there he goes with that age thing again"). Thanks.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=27608

 

[Sassy7]

weathered2

I just read your story and thought it was very good. I am also straight and have not had any bi experiences, but have had an occasional fantasy. I look forward to your next story.

 

[lovetoread]

Sent a response to ya and voted.

 

[weathered2]

Thanks ladies...

...and everyone else who gave feedback in one way or another. I have a related question on writing technique that perhaps should go on another thread, but I'll tack it on here and hope someone notices and has some time to kill.

I've gotten feedback that the "you" point of view was rather distracting. However, one suggested that that was particularly so for female readers, making it more difficult for them to relate to the story, because it threw them into the very male experiences in the story. It so happens that the comments on writing in that point of view did come from female readers exclusively thus far. Did that really louse it up for the girls? I plan to switch on the next theme anyway, if there ever is one, but I threw up the second installment of this one following the way I had started. I'm really interested in what you think. Even though I plan to ditch that approach, the one feedback on gender sort of brought up an interesting hypothesis. I would hate if that was particularly distracting for anyone, but am curious to know.

 

[MysticSwing]

Weathered~~
Just went and read your story... Yeah, the "you" point of view can be confusing for the female reader, but I wouldn't say you completely "loused it up for the girls." (I've always found bi-sexuality in men to be quite a turn on, and you made this bi-female quite wet! *grin*) I look forward to your second installment no matter what point of view you use!
~~Mystic

 

[weathered2]

Mystic...

Chapter two was accepted today. Although with that server thing, or whatever, that happened a little while ago, who knows? Thanks for the feedback. Had planned a third and final chapter. Was going to keep point of view the same to confuse me less, but maybe I'll enjoy the challenge. Just gotta find that box of motivation I misplaced.

 

[MysticSwing]

Re: Mystic...

Chapter two was accepted today. Although with that server thing, or whatever, that happened a little while ago, who knows? Thanks for the feedback. Had planned a third and final chapter. Was going to keep point of view the same to confuse me less, but maybe I'll enjoy the challenge. Just gotta find that box of motivation I misplaced.

weathered~~
I just went over and read your 2nd installment... I enjoyed it as much as the first (If not more!!) Is Larry gay? or bi-sexual? I'm hoping bi-sexual so you can include him in future stories with women! He sounds like my kinda man!! *grin*

I found the 2nd chapter to be even less confusing than the first. Maybe because after reading the 1st I already had myself in that "1st person" state of mind. If you find that the 3rd chapter might confuse you if you change the point of view, then DON'T! I think they're great just the way you wrote them!

Looking forward to chapter 3!! *grin*
~~Mystic

 

[weathered2]

Mystic...

The young lad is definitely hetero turning bi, (guess that's obvious), but hadn't thought much about Larry. Now that I've seen him "in person", (seen Marcvs' post?), I'll have to give Larry more thought. I'll tell him you're interested.

Just noticed you're my 100th, dear, thank you!

 

[Uther_Pendragon]

Re: Thanks ladies...

...and everyone else who gave feedback in one way or another. I have a related question on writing technique that perhaps should go on another thread, but I'll tack it on here and hope someone notices and has some time to kill.

I've gotten feedback that the "you" point of view was rather distracting. However, one suggested that that was particularly so for female readers, making it more difficult for them to relate to the story, because it threw them into the very male experiences in the story. It so happens that the comments on writing in that point of view did come from female readers exclusively thus far. Did that really louse it up for the girls? I plan to switch on the next theme anyway, if there ever is one, but I threw up the second installment of this one following the way I had started. I'm really interested in what you think. Even though I plan to ditch that approach, the one feedback on gender sort of brought up an interesting hypothesis. I would hate if that was particularly distracting for anyone, but am curious to know.

<P>
The general rule is that one doesn't use the "you"
point of view unless it is absolutley necessary.
<P>
Except for a short "frame" for a longer first-person
story, I've ony used it once. *Generally* the rule is
a good one.

 

[MysticSwing]

Re: Mystic...

Originally posted by weathered2
The young lad is definitely hetero turning bi, (guess that's obvious), but hadn't thought much about Larry. Now that I've seen him "in person", (seen Marcvs' post?), I'll have to give Larry more thought. I'll tell him you're interested.]

Yes, I've seen Marcvs' post and all I can say about that is OH MY GOD!! (Now I definitly look forward to getting to know Larry better! *smile*)

Just noticed you're my 100th, dear, thank you!

You're so very welcome. Did I miss the falling confetti and balloons? *sheesh*

~~Mystic

I know it's a wee-bit late, but here's a little dance in honor of your "100th"...

 

[weathered2]

Cute, Mystic, and thanks. I haven't tried livestock yet, but....