How many names can a Penis have?
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BrainyBeauty
Literotica Guru
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Umm, not that I sit around thinking these things up
Had to look in my archive for this list:
Some other names for the penis
Russell The One-Eyed Wonder Muscle
Gristle Missle
Pumping Pole of Penile Power
Bone-Her
Harry & the Hendersons (Hendersons are the balls)
Granite Edifice
One-Eyed Fred
Dip Stick
Piss Pump
Meat Wrench
Nightcrawler
Blue-veined Junket Pumper
Love Pump
Richard and the Twins
One Eyed Wonder Weasel
Ralph The Fur Faced Chicken
Tobias the Cheeky Monkey
Johnson
Trouser Snake
Tool
Thrill Drill
Sex Pistol
Pocket Rocket
One Hole Friction Whistle
The Pink Oboe
Purple-Helmeted Warrior
Purple-Helmeted Yogurt Thrower
Trouser Trout
Vlad The Impaler
Had to look in my archive for this list:
Some other names for the penis
Russell The One-Eyed Wonder Muscle
Gristle Missle
Pumping Pole of Penile Power
Bone-Her
Harry & the Hendersons (Hendersons are the balls)
Granite Edifice
One-Eyed Fred
Dip Stick
Piss Pump
Meat Wrench
Nightcrawler
Blue-veined Junket Pumper
Love Pump
Richard and the Twins
One Eyed Wonder Weasel
Ralph The Fur Faced Chicken
Tobias the Cheeky Monkey
Johnson
Trouser Snake
Tool
Thrill Drill
Sex Pistol
Pocket Rocket
One Hole Friction Whistle
The Pink Oboe
Purple-Helmeted Warrior
Purple-Helmeted Yogurt Thrower
Trouser Trout
Vlad The Impaler
BrainyBeauty
Literotica Guru
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Or, if you prefer...
This guy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar but decides, "What the heck, I really want a drink."
When the gay waiter approaches he says to the customer, "What's the name of your penis?".
The customer says, "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink". The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis."
So the customer asks the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer and asks, "Hey bud, what's the name of your penis?"
The man to left, with a smile, looks back and says, "TIMEX."
The thirsty customer asks, "Why Timex?"
The fella proudly replies, "Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'!"
A little shaken, the customer turns to the fella on his right sipping on a fruity margarita. "So, what do you call your penis?"
The man to his right turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD, because quality is Job 1," Then adds, "Have you driven a Ford, lately?"
Even more shaken, the customer has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his penis.
He turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The name of my penis is 'Secret'. Now give me my beer."
The bartender begins to pour the customer a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, "Why secret?"
The customer says "Strong enough for a man but made for a woman."
This guy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar but decides, "What the heck, I really want a drink."
When the gay waiter approaches he says to the customer, "What's the name of your penis?".
The customer says, "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink". The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis."
So the customer asks the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer and asks, "Hey bud, what's the name of your penis?"
The man to left, with a smile, looks back and says, "TIMEX."
The thirsty customer asks, "Why Timex?"
The fella proudly replies, "Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'!"
A little shaken, the customer turns to the fella on his right sipping on a fruity margarita. "So, what do you call your penis?"
The man to his right turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD, because quality is Job 1," Then adds, "Have you driven a Ford, lately?"
Even more shaken, the customer has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his penis.
He turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The name of my penis is 'Secret'. Now give me my beer."
The bartender begins to pour the customer a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, "Why secret?"
The customer says "Strong enough for a man but made for a woman."
goddess_euphoria
Literotica Guru
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The male errection?
pitchin a tent,
sporting a wood,
the march is on,
bicycle is formed,
stiff,
stiffy,
Mr. Mortise,
rigermortise has set in,
tall Tommy,
Jacks magic bean stalk,
mushroom on a stick,
purple headed yogurt slinger,
and, uh, Pedro...
just had to add that quote from Varsity Blues...
Some others:
the bald avenger
the magic wand
vain lain meat rod...
pitchin a tent,
sporting a wood,
the march is on,
bicycle is formed,
stiff,
stiffy,
Mr. Mortise,
rigermortise has set in,
tall Tommy,
Jacks magic bean stalk,
mushroom on a stick,
purple headed yogurt slinger,
and, uh, Pedro...
just had to add that quote from Varsity Blues... Some others:
the bald avenger
the magic wand
vain lain meat rod...
One of my favorite Monty Python Song
Penis Song (a.k.a. The Not Noël Coward Song)
Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy.
It's divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick.
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,
Your Percy, or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in your sock,
But don't take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won't come back.
If you want to hear it in all it's glory, here's the link.
http://www.montypython.net/scripts/penisong.php3
Penis Song (a.k.a. The Not Noël Coward Song)
Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy.
It's divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick.
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,
Your Percy, or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in your sock,
But don't take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won't come back.
If you want to hear it in all it's glory, here's the link.
http://www.montypython.net/scripts/penisong.php3
BlueRooster
Virgin
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2000
- Posts
- 29
Re: One of my favorite Monty Python Song
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend's friend!
Isn't that so true oh Cheri!
-BigBR
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend's friend!
Isn't that so true oh Cheri!
-BigBR
Oliver Clozoff
SirRealism
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- Jun 1, 2000
- Posts
- 7,468
Cheyenne said:
Haha... didn't notice until you mentioned it. I think the lesson's been learned. At least by me.
scylis
Assassin/Subtlety Spec'd
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- Aug 9, 2000
- Posts
- 9,876
the BEST lists i have ever heard was from the outtakes at the end of Grumpy Old Men and Grumpier Old Men... and hearing them all come from Rocky Balboa's trainer nearly made me piss in my pants, i was laughing so hard!!
"looks like he's taking ol' One-Eyed Willy ta tuna town!"
"ya wanna go back o my place and feel my cantaloni?"
"it's OK!!! i'm a DOCTOR!!!"
"looks like he's taking ol' One-Eyed Willy ta tuna town!"
"ya wanna go back o my place and feel my cantaloni?"
"it's OK!!! i'm a DOCTOR!!!"
goddess_euphoria
Literotica Guru
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- Oct 2, 2000
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ya forgot Taking the log to the beaver (ok, along with a few more, but that's the only one I can remember!)
OK. Adding a few Aussie terms here although I have heard guys from other countries use them.
dangle
clam digger
orchestra stalls/orchestras (rhyming slang for balls)
doodle
corned beef telescope
lamb lance
mutton dagger
pyjama python
Boris Becker (also rhyming slang - Boris Becker is a German tennis player..Becker rhymes with pecker...)
AN ERECTION CAN BE:-
state election (rhyming slang)
angle of the dangle
and a man who sems to have an unusually high rate of success with women is a gash magnet
Told you we are an unromantic lot!!!
dangle
clam digger
orchestra stalls/orchestras (rhyming slang for balls)
doodle
corned beef telescope
lamb lance
mutton dagger
pyjama python
Boris Becker (also rhyming slang - Boris Becker is a German tennis player..Becker rhymes with pecker...)
AN ERECTION CAN BE:-
state election (rhyming slang)
angle of the dangle
and a man who sems to have an unusually high rate of success with women is a gash magnet
Told you we are an unromantic lot!!!
Earthmuffin
Literotica Guru
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- Jul 6, 2000
- Posts
- 764
Didja forget....
Stanley ("the power tool")
Heat seeking missile
Junior
blue'd steel
One-eye'd wonder wyrm.
Stanley ("the power tool")
Heat seeking missile
Junior
blue'd steel
One-eye'd wonder wyrm.
