How many forum members does it take to change a light bulb?

[annaswirls]

OKAY where do you find yourself in this list? I am sure this will be familiar to all-- it is nice to know that these jokes are pretty universal to all forums, and that we are not alone.

Lifted from another forum, my apologies if this is one of those things that has been passed around for three years, and I just so happened to miss it.



How many forum members does it take to change a light bulb?



1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

1 to move it to the lighting section

2 to argue, then move it to the electrical section

7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

5 to flame the spell checkers

3 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"

10 to condemn those 6 as stupid

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "me too"

5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

13 to say "do a google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

1 idiot who claims lightbulbs are poetry.

 

[annaswirls]

lit specific

1 to post an ass av trying to distract boys and bis alike and lighten the mood

 

[Maria2394]

what is a lightbulb?

we still use candles down south

 

[flyguy69]

...
1 idiot who claims lightbulbs are poetry.

Oh, but the are! They are!

 

[Maria2394]

1 to post an ass av trying to distract boys and bis alike and lighten the mood

Lauren, theres your cue

 

[Maria2394]

Anna, does Seattle have light in her basement? I would love to change her bulbs

 

[annaswirls]

Anna, does Seattle have light in her basement? I would love to change her bulbs

1 to introduce sexual innuendo

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Lauren, theres your cue

Hey, I heard that.

 

[SeattleRain]

you can ring my bell and change my bulb anytime baby...


I am not sure I completely understand the reference, but if you are suggesting it, I am game

 

[flyguy69]

you can ring my bell and change my bulb anytime baby...


I am not sure I completely understand the reference, but if you are suggesting it, I am game

And please leave the light on, you two!

 

[WickedEve]

Are we going to be doing a same title--light bulb--challenge?

 

[Guest]

1 to distract by suggesting a STC.

3 (I think) to decree a sticky light bulb.

 

[namron711]

Enough talking already....

Can we just see the light bulb get naked please???

 

[flyguy69]

STC Light bulb

I had heard of such things
but thought them crazy,
so imagine my surprise
at how easily glass
and coiled wire mashed
between my teeth, leaving only
the sharp tang of tungsten
to savor when I swallowed. Gulp

followed nibble until
with lidded joy the shards
were licked from fingertips
and I looked up with the smile
of someone who has pulled
a sliver from their sole, or paired
the final sock on laundry day.

With a hundred units
of work in my gut I set out
to share my luster with dreary
souls in shaded lives. A diurnal missionary sent
into a nocturnal world. My glow

caught many by surprise that day,
unused, as they were, to seeing
inside a man. My heart,
a bordello's beacon; my lungs,
clustered pink pearls;
even my Isles of Langerhans,
torch-lit for sailors
on a crimson sea. Children

clapped their hands in glee
when my blood tide turned
from red to blue and headed
back for home; mothers fanned
their heated cheeks at the ruddy
embers in my groin. I shined

a kleiglight dance on heads
at bus stop hell, tortured
souls that bent and squinted
for alphanumeric deliverance. My
insight made them curse and swat
at luminous spot-mice like cats
below a window crystal. I shared

my brilliance freely, tossing
photons to scrambling waifs,
fully aware that by the time I reach
my own front door my luminance
may well run out.

 

[WickedEve]

1 to distract by suggesting a STC.

3 (I think) to decree a sticky light bulb.

I want to see some light bulb credentials before anyone discusses light bulbs. Are we qualified to even discuss light bulbs. We should have a bulb poll--but the voting will probably be rigged by the mods. And I've posted this 20 times but someone keeps moving my posts! I will report this to Laurel or the light bulb commission.

 

[WickedEve]

STC Light bulb

um... you just came up with that or have you been saving it in hopes that we'd some day have an stc about Mr. Bulb?

 

[SeattleRain]

I want to see some light bulb credentials before anyone discusses light bulbs. Are we qualified to even discuss light bulbs. We should have a bulb poll--but the voting will probably be rigged by the mods. And I've posted this 20 times but someone keeps moving my posts! I will report this to Laurel or the light bulb commission.

I don't think you have to have a degree in bulbology to be able to watch someone change a light bulb and have a very strong opinion about it, you people are such snobs

 

[annaswirls]

I don't think you have to have a degree in bulbology to be able to watch someone change a light bulb and have a very strong opinion about it, you people are such snobs

I only change light bulbs for my SELF and I don't care what anyone has to say about my technique.

Changing lightbulbs is personal. It is a matter of taste. As Flyguy so aptly wrote.

 

[annaswirls]

Enough talking already....

Can we just see the light bulb get naked please???

I cannot believe no one has found a picture for this yet.

 

[annaswirls]

Enough talking already....

Can we just see the light bulb get naked please???

DEAR GOD someone already wrote a poem about naked lightbulbs heaven have mercy

Who is Peter Gimple?


His latest work is Professor Gansa's Dream, or Science as a Naked Lightbulb
: a parable in 75 "stanzos", comprising a Jewish Reply to Carl Sagan's Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark. The poem tells the story of a scientist consumed by a desire to uncover the secret of Creation. It is followed by scholarly end-notes, exposing Sagan's fuzzy thinking, sloppy scholarship and self-hating anti-Judaism (click here for reviews). Asked why he would target Carl Sagan, of all people, Gimpel answers, "Look: the man is a cultural hero. He did some good things. But it is a very serious matter when such a person, a person who enjoys—even from the grave—such great popularity, starts to denigrate Judaism and Jewish History. We have seen such things before, and it does not bode well. In The Demon-Haunted World, Sagan says some really stupid, really outrageous things about religion, G*d, and the Jews. In the process, he distorts sources, misreads texts, and misrepresents some basic facts. Yet he continues to garner almost nothing but praise and adulation, while The Demon-Haunted World has been widely hailed as a kind of "manifesto for clear thought"! Somebody has to stand up and challenge him publicly on his handling of facts, texts and logic. Yes, I realize that he can no longer respond in person. But does he need to? His book speaks for him. Until now, its voice has drowned out the indignation of his more thoughtful opponents. Besides, I had never read any of his books until the summer of 1999. I was browsing the UCLA bookstore when this big Viking physicist strikes up a conversation with me and tells me I ought to read The Demon-Haunted World. So I did."

 

[Vampiric_Mirage]

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Finally people who understand the deeper meaning of a Lightbulb, the inner beauty, the illuminating wisdom that can be gained from simply staring at one... I've searched for people like you for all my life!




lmao

 

[WickedEve]

Well, some bulbsters just came to the door, trying to convert me. I turned out the light so they'd think I wasn't home, but that just got them all worked up, and they laid their hands on my front door and prayed for the bulbless, dark house.

 

[Curiouswife]

That gave me a good laugh! I started a forum a few years ago...and boy, did it take off...and I have seen every last one of those situations. I have the impossible role of "peace keeper." Some days I want to scream...I needed the laugh.

Julia

 

[Maria2394]

I only change light bulbs for my SELF and I don't care what anyone has to say about my technique.

Changing lightbulbs is personal. It is a matter of taste. As Flyguy so aptly wrote.

What DO lightbulbs taste like anyway? I know someone here had to have tasted at least one when they were still toddling around...and did ya'll know that Edison didnt invent the lightbulb? He "improved upon" stole, ahem someone elses idea . JIm, are you lurking? I know what a genius you are and I only google myself, no time for matters of the bulb

 

[Rybka]

Anna, You forgot. . .

One to post and say that this is an old post and can be found in the "More 'Medicine'" thread.