How long to submissions take to be processed?

[OneShotBob]

I sent in a story as a Word document the other day. It has italics that are necessary as they are internal thoughts.

I'm not asking for anyone to go read it now, but if I could get an estimate on how long a 20k word story might take to process, I'd appreciate it.

I'm not looking for an editor. My second pass editing is better grammar than most of what I've read here. I do recognize that it has to pass certain standards, and it should, easily.

 

[Hypoxia]

A couple to a few days, depending on Laurel's workload. She owns the site. She reads and approves EVERYTHING. Do no be surprised if your first submission is rejected for technical reasons. This gives you a chance to review your work and fix problems. My first rejection was a great lesson. Good luck!

 

[emap]

Bad form Hypoxia, you are supposed to make it sound so much harder and harrowing to the newbs. Sort of on topic, is it supposed to be noobs or newbs because I see both and it's hard to keep track when I don't actually read most of the chat.

Anyway, if you are a good little boy or girl your new story will be posted in two days. Of course there are some problems that most don't know about, if you do odd things like not typing in proper English, you add a day to four days to be posted. If your story has other things, like italics then you are a very naughty boy and it will take about three days, sometimes four it depends on how much italics and so forth you put.

Course this is assuming you were not paying attention and posted a story that is not related to the current contest, at which point you automatically wait seven days. This is before it is looked at so if you have italics and so forth, you have a looonnnnggggggggg wait.

Now granted it is not always easy to know a contest is ongoing, it takes a day or two for the link to be posted on the main page, perhaps the secondary page. The page you reach after pressing on the link in the first page to find stories is what I mean on main page. Manu likely has a different page as the main page, which is great for him, I am not a programmer.

Lastly, and this is rather important and not listed anywhere. You must take the proper actions before posting, and while posting, otherwise your story will never to Laurel and you will wait a couple weeks before realizing that. Firstly, you must spin on your chair thrice, and say oh god I have a story for you to read please receive it. It is MOST important that you spin thrice while saying this. Once a spin is not enough, four spins is way more than needed, it is thrice and only thrice.

Secondly, you must wink with your left eye, and your right is looking up at the heavens. If you do not do this God, otherwise known as Manu will not accept your story and you will have to figure it out much later. Thirdly, you must have a twinky by your computer, not the better tasting knockoff, you have to have an actual twinky by your computer. That is for the hamster that is running on the big wheel to power the computer of God otherwise known as Manu.

Actual twinky is needed because said hamster is tired of the cheaper and better tasting derivatives, the twinky is not eaten for the taste of it, it is simply a needed food. It is very important to remember this because if you do not feed the twinky to the hamster the hamster does not run and God otherwise known as Manu can not accept or decline your story. This is considered the most important step, though it is not, a close tie but not the most important step.

Most important step is to order a works pizza, large or extra large only please, and put it under your bed. You are not to eat the pizza, this pizza will find it's way to laurel so she can manage to have the energy to read the story you sent to her. Especially important if it is a long story, I put two pizzas under my bed when I post some of my stories just to be sure.

If you can manage to do all of the steps to posting then you will wait 3-7 days except at the end of a contest because many seem to wait for those to send in their stories for reasons known only to those who do so and their toe lint.

 

[Hypoxia]

Bad form Hypoxia, you are supposed to make it sound so much harder and harrowing to the newbs. Sort of on topic, is it supposed to be noobs or newbs because I see both and it's hard to keep track when I don't actually read most of the chat.

Anyway, if you are a good little boy or girl your new story will be posted in two days. Of course there are some problems that most don't know about, if you do odd things like not typing in proper English, you add a day to four days to be posted. If your story has other things, like italics then you are a very naughty boy and it will take about three days, sometimes four it depends on how much italics and so forth you put.

Course this is assuming you were not paying attention and posted a story that is not related to the current contest, at which point you automatically wait seven days. This is before it is looked at so if you have italics and so forth, you have a looonnnnggggggggg wait.

Now granted it is not always easy to know a contest is ongoing, it takes a day or two for the link to be posted on the main page, perhaps the secondary page. The page you reach after pressing on the link in the first page to find stories is what I mean on main page. Manu likely has a different page as the main page, which is great for him, I am not a programmer.

Lastly, and this is rather important and not listed anywhere. You must take the proper actions before posting, and while posting, otherwise your story will never to Laurel and you will wait a couple weeks before realizing that. Firstly, you must spin on your chair thrice, and say oh god I have a story for you to read please receive it. It is MOST important that you spin thrice while saying this. Once a spin is not enough, four spins is way more than needed, it is thrice and only thrice.

Secondly, you must wink with your left eye, and your right is looking up at the heavens. If you do not do this God, otherwise known as Manu will not accept your story and you will have to figure it out much later. Thirdly, you must have a twinky by your computer, not the better tasting knockoff, you have to have an actual twinky by your computer. That is for the hamster that is running on the big wheel to power the computer of God otherwise known as Manu.

Actual twinky is needed because said hamster is tired of the cheaper and better tasting derivatives, the twinky is not eaten for the taste of it, it is simply a needed food. It is very important to remember this because if you do not feed the twinky to the hamster the hamster does not run and God otherwise known as Manu can not accept or decline your story. This is considered the most important step, though it is not, a close tie but not the most important step.

Most important step is to order a works pizza, large or extra large only please, and put it under your bed. You are not to eat the pizza, this pizza will find it's way to laurel so she can manage to have the energy to read the story you sent to her. Especially important if it is a long story, I put two pizzas under my bed when I post some of my stories just to be sure.

If you can manage to do all of the steps to posting then you will wait 3-7 days except at the end of a contest because many seem to wait for those to send in their stories for reasons known only to those who do so and their toe lint.

Having a slow evening, are we?

 

[sr71plt]

It's been taking three days for mine to post that last couple of months, up from two days for the previous year. I post at least one a week.

 

[OneShotBob]

Thanks for the information!

I've written, self-edited, and published well over a million words of non-erotica. My biggest problem with this story might be misspellings that are real words, because of a craptastic laptop keyboard. I caught several of them but perhaps not all. There's also the potential for overused words. If I were writing in my normal genres, I'd know a bunch of words to watch for, as I know my repetitive habits, but this is my first erotica story, and some of the words used are quite different. I did try to mix things up a bit, but it's possible that I might have used the same words too many times. If it bounces back to me for that, well, I'll just have to fix it, won't I?

Again, thanks for the info folks.

 

[emap]

If you are having problems with the spell checking and such try getting Libreoffice, it is a free office program and it has a rather good spell and grammar checker. Not that you have to get that one, there are a few out there just do a search for free office.

 

[OneShotBob]

No problems with spell checking. I use Word, and it's spell checker works just fine. The potential for misspellings that are actually correctly spelled words is there though, due to craptastic keyboard on laptop I am currently using. I know of no grammar or spell checker that will reliably find that sort of error. Grammarly will, sometimes, but I do not have it installed on my travel laptop.

 

[OneShotBob]

Looks like it's been approved. Thanks all!

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

Denny

Keep at it Bob. Laurel is doing a great job and some of my very short stories are up in days.
I just throw a few in when I have time, making sure they are according to the rules, and in no time they are there for the readers.
I believe once she trusts us, our stories get approved faster.

My first few were rejected, mostly because of age restrictions. A few were too short.
My problem is our stories are of short events so I've started putting two similar stories or more together.
As much as I've asked, I have no idea what 750 words looks like using WORD at 12 font. I make them at least three little WORD pages and I've only had to add to a few.
Even if no one reads our stories it's been fun and in reality there must be 75 in all.
My spelling is fair although I write in slang often which seems to pass, ya'al.

 

[sr71plt]

As much as I've asked, I have no idea what 750 words looks like using WORD at 12 font. .

I still don't know why you are having this problem. Word tells you how many words are in the file. It's provided in the lower left of the screen of every Word program launched for the last twenty years. What's the relevance of what it looks like? For Lit. submissions, you either have at least 750 words or you don't.