How long is long enough

[Sarcasm82]

Newbie to Literotica, but I have a question::
I recently got into a relationship. First time having a boyfriend. Sad but true. Im 20 year old virgin, and I have asked friends how long they wait till they have sex with their boyfriend. So my question to Literotica BB is, how long have most people waited to have sex with their partner? And men, how long would you wait for a girl to finally have sex with you? And when I mean sex, I mean all the way, not blow jobs, but penetration?

Thanks guys

 

[dreamer]

I think this is one of those things that depends greatly upon the situation and the individuals.

I've never had issues with women being too fast. By that I mean I've never had a situation where having sex or advancing the physical relationship had hurt the relationship as a whole.

I do know, however, that many men see this as a bad thing and can actually get into a 'this is a sexual' relationship mode and the emotional side kinda falls by the wayside.

Now, I can't speak as a woman, but I do know I prefer to be able to honestly look a woman in the eye and tell her I love her and MEAN it before starting a sexual relationship. IS that necessary? Probably not...but it is nice.

Oh...and most importantly...there's NO harm in talking with him about this. Actually it can really be a constructive conversation.

Best of luck to you!!

 

[Willing and Unsure]

that is something that each person needs to decide for themselves. my first boyfriend was a year ago when I was 19 and I was a virgin then. I had the opportunity right away and I took it cuz I was rather curious. I knew the guy about a week, but it felt right. I met a different guy not too long ago where it didnt feel right so I havent had sex with him. Each situation and each person is different.

and by the way, there is nothing wrong with being a virgin at the age of 20 (I was almost 20 when I lost mine). It is something you should be proud of, not ashamed of. And just to let you know, dont expect fireworks the first time either. Not trying to scare you, but a lot of times the first time isnt always the greatest.

 

[dreamer]

That is a good point. I was twenty as well when I first had sex, and I'm a hottie...err...so they say.

 

[gimmeadaiquiri]

Sarcasm my dear...

I was 19 when I lost my virginity-- we should have a 20 Club!!

Um... anyways... I'm a guy-- a sensitive guy. But it's such a conflict, because these days guys aren't used to having to wait. But if you have a nice guy, he will.

My gf and I waited six months into our relationship to have sex, but honestly I could've waited longer if I had to-- it's easier if the guy's a virgin too, then he doesn't know what he's missing.

 

[Sarcasm82]

Thanks

Hey, I appreciate the response from everyone.
The guy im dating right now is older than me. He is 27 and I am 20. And I know he's not a virgin because he has a 4 year old son. Any suggestions I should go about the whole 4 year old boy? I told him im not in a hurry with sex and he understands it and says he's not in a rush. I don't mind give him hand jobs or blow jobs, that is fine with me. I like doing that, and it turns me on. But I don't want him going down on me, eek! So far just touching is good for me. Again, thanks for some responses.

Would like some male POVs as well.

 

[dreamer]

Wow...if you want a guys opinion...PLEASE PLEASE let him go down on you. Seriously, you won't regret it.

As for the whole timing thing with sex...talk about it with him. I think part of a mature lasting relationship HAS to be communication. When you are both ready it'll happen. No need to hurry.

Frankly having just come from a relationship with a woman who had 5 kids of her own, I would see his son as a much bigger obstacle than when you do or do not have sex. That's one issue you both need to continually and seriously talk about. I think it's really important you understand his expectations and he yours.

 

[DuckLover]

I, too, was 20 when I gave up my virginity. (I didn't lose it; I know exactly what happened-- I gifted it to the gf I loved.)

My gf and I had been dating slightly over a year at that point. She wasn't a virgin, and she'd had to wait longer than she really wanted for each step of our physical relationship. In the end though, it was worth it.

And imho, DEFINITELY let the guy go down on you! Read around here enough and you'll hear lots of complaints that guys won't do it. You've got one who will and I'm told it feels amazing!! Personally, I love giving a woman oral sex; it's about my favorite thing. There's no better view than from between her legs, looking up past her tits, seeing her back and head arched and feeling her whole body tense and convulse. <shiver> God, I get turned on just thinking it!!

 

[lilpriss]

Sorry Iknow this is off topic but...

HONEY!!!

Let him go down on you! OMG. It's not "eew" or "yucky". It's the absolute best best best! Especially if the guy knows what he's doing... and the lines of communication are open.

Communicate what you like and don't like.

And at first I thought it was nasty too... I had a major aversion to it... want to hear why? Because dogs always stick their noses in peoples crotches and I didn't want to think of animals when I was being intimate with my BF.

I'm so far over that now that I sometimes wish I could do like Danny Devito did to Sharon Stone in the movie "Casino" and just push their heads down...

And you will know when it's right to have sex with him...

 

[lorelai715]

I was in the same boat quite recently. I started dating my current bf just before I turned 20. I gave my virginity to him after dating him only a month. It worked for us and neither of us regrets it. He would've waited a lot longer for me to be ready, but I was ready a lot sooner than either of us expected.

My advice is to wait until you're completely ready - I wanted to wait for someone that I would never regret giving my virginity to; even if it doesn't work out with my current bf, I won't regret anything about our relationship.

There is no set time when sex is ok, or expected, or must happen in a relationship, you can only do what's right for you.

 

[GreenEyedGodess]

Newbie to Literotica, but I have a question::
I recently got into a relationship. First time having a boyfriend. Sad but true. Im 20 year old virgin, and I have asked friends how long they wait till they have sex with their boyfriend. So my question to Literotica BB is, how long have most people waited to have sex with their partner? And men, how long would you wait for a girl to finally have sex with you? And when I mean sex, I mean all the way, not blow jobs, but penetration?

Thanks guys

Not that you should follow, my example. You definitely shouldn't.
In my last relationship, I waited three hours before having sex with my boyfriend. I'm not really good at knowing what is the right amount of time to wait, either.

If you get a specific answer let me know!

 

[StevenWill]

When it feels right...

I had a relationship with a young women back when I was a youngster that went six months before intercourse. As with you, we did have oral sex and hand jobs and lots of good times. It was sex as far as I was concerned, and good sex. I think we get a bit obsessed with intercourse and that can be a disadvantage. Lots of people get trapped in a sexual routine what always always always ends in intercourse and that is a rut for sure. I have had sexual experiences that just included masturbating together and touching that were far better than some intercourse experiences.

So play and lick and suck and jerk and laugh and have orgasms.
When you feel comfortable, you will let him go down on you and that will be a special intimate experience for you both. Later you will be ready for intercourse and will seem natural and right. Usually you can trust your instincts, unless you have some irrational fears about sex that need professional attention.

Good luck.

Dr. Steve

 

[kay1eigh]

It always depends upon you and your boyfriend. You should do it when you feel right about it. Depending on the guy, he may wait around or he might just leave-sad but true. Only do it when you feel ready but until then, you can have fun with other things. ^_~

 

[sheath]

If I've learned ANYTHING about sex that always holds true, it's this:

You will NEVER regret waiting a little while longer.

You will ALWAYS regret not waiting until you are sure.

S.

 

[HorneeLadee]

I think that it depends on you and how comfortable you feel. If he isn't willing to wait then move on anf find somone who is.
HL

 

[Sarcasm82]

Thanks

Thanks you guys for posting. I appreciate. ANd you guys are right, if he can't wait then he's not the one for me, im sure there are others guys there that are willing to wait.

 

[Guest]

So my question to Literotica BB is, how long have most people waited to have sex with their partner?

Well, with my current Man... We "met" online. We developed a friendship pretty easily with having several things (both sexual and non sexual) in common. Soon we were developing a "romance" online as it were. Within 4 months we met one another in person, and were considering ourselves to be "dating". I feel we would have meet sooner than that, even, had job and money situations allowed it.

It's now been 2 years and 1 and a half months since that day. Yes, we made love that first time he came to visit in person, and continued a happy sex life each visit we managed together. It's been a bit over 2 months since we actually moved in together and things are going great.

 

[horny_giraffe]

"Don't talk to me as if you think I'm dumb
I wanna know when you're gonna come
See I don't wanna wait in vain far your love"