How long do you carry on a grudge?

[*bratcat*]

 

[lavender]

 

[Willing and Unsure]

it depends on how much i care about the person, what the fight was about, and if the fight was justified (i try to avoid fighting as much as possible).... but i usually take a little bit of time to relax and calm down some, then talk to an outsider that has no idea who the person is to get some rational advice. and then nine times out of ten, i will try to talk to the person i had the fight with... we can usually work things out then after we've both relaxed a little

 

[Renegade]

I'm too forgiving. I can't carry a grudge. It's a waste of my time and energy.

Same here. Unless it's someone that continues to keep up their shit after I try to let things drop. But other then those people, I try not to hold grudges.

 

[Weird Harold]

I've got a bad back...

and carrying a grudge is too much work. I am more of an ignore it 'till it goes away sort of person, rather than a grudge holder.

The best description I've ever seen for a person who holds a grudge:

"Elizabeth is the type who will hold a grudge until it dies of old age, and then have it stuffed and mounted."

 

[Mistress]

I honestly never forgive or forget...even if I tell them I do.

 

[Tabby432]

I'm too forgiving. I can't carry a grudge. It's a waste of my time and energy.

Same here. Unless it's someone that continues to keep up their shit after I try to let things drop. But other then those people, I try not to hold grudges.

Me too. lol

 

[Renegade]

Tabby

Don't copy me.

 

[Expertise]

I, on occassion, forgive.... but I never forget.

 

[unusuallyconfused]

I think there are levels of offenses. There are some areas that are very difficult to forgive. It depends on the attitute of the offender. It is much easier to forgive when the "offender" is contrite. Now if they deny or give no apology, I don't forgive or forget. The complexity of it all. It is too early to be thinking this deep.

Barbara

 

[Kasha]

I can hold a grudge, if I have to

I guess it really depends on the person and the situation. I know that I try to forgive but I never forget. it seems with most people I deal with forgiveness is a bit easier then continuing to be mad especially if the person hardly ever is upseting to me. BUT when someone is always a holy terror to be around (someone in the family for instance) I hold a grudge and won't forgive or forget because when I do they just pull the same old shit over and over.

Holding a grudge is consuming at times and I do try as hard as I can to avoid doing that, but in life as we al know there are people that just won't let you forgive them they are the chaos seekers...

Better go now before I go off on some Dennis Miller type rant LOL.

 

[CW]

bad back here also,,, so I don't carry any grudges,,,





but I'll sure as hell HOLD on to them,,,





forgive??? possibly

forget??? never!!

 

[indyweasel]

If I am going to remain mad at someone I usually end the freindship. There is no need to be associated with them, if I dont like to be around them.

Hell, my friends and I fight/get mad at each other all the time, but we get over it and move on. No sense in being upset about the past.

 

[asylumkitten]

I forgive far too easily. I forgive when the person shouldn't be forgiven. If the person hurt me deeply, I do hold onto the hurt though. I wont bring it up to the person and throw it in their face, but the level of trust will most likely never be the same again. Providing, of course, that I had been REALLY hurt.

I can't sleep if I'm mad at someone...or they're mad at me. I always give in, I like to sleep.

 

[doctor_insanus]

I usually drop grudges pretty quickly. When I was in high school, I had a teacher who was into philosophy. He made a comment along the lines of: "The only person who can really make you mad is you."

That stuck with me. Why should I get bent out of shape and put myself through all the stress of carrying a grudge? I'm basically wasting time and energy being pissed at someone. So I don't.

That's just me, though.

 

[Desert Amazon]

 

[KillerMuffin]

Most of the time I will carry a grudge until someone admits to wrongdoing and sincerely apologizes. Even if it's me whose wrong. Hey, it's not in the consitution that I have to be a good girl.

Some of the time, for things that I consider bad... I am ashamed to admit that I will carry a grudge until such time as I pick the bloody leftover pieces from my fingernails. After that, the grudge isn't a grudge, it's just a generalized hate. I'm sure no one has noticed my propensity for going for the jugular at the drop of a hat. I do hide it so well.

 

[GulfCoastAquarian]

.

 

[willywanker]

I think I'm married to a cross between Killer Muffin and Mistress.

I'm always the one to appoligize and it really doesn't matter because she is never going to forget it anyway.

Back to the subject, Depends on who and what. Like some others have said, someone I love, I get over it. People on the bubble can piss me off and I'll stay that way toward them forever. Why not?, they didn't mean that much in the first place. Seems a little childish when I write it down like this though.

Gonna think on this a little.

 

[BrainyBeauty]

What an excellent thread! And it kind of ties in nicely with KM's hate thread.

I'm not sure what people are so angry about all the time. I don't carry a grudge. I am all for talking things out. Or screaming things out. Whichever method works to identify the problem and get past it.

Of course, sometimes, people can't get beyond the hurt or the anger. But what good does it do to hold on to a grudge? Are you making a shrine out of it? Pulling it out on holidays and raising it up the flagpole and saluting it?

I would think a grudge is a burden that is too heavy to carry around for most folks. Why expend the energy? Either try to work it out or get over it and let it go.

On the other hand, if you are the recipient of a grudge (on the receiving end) and have tried everything you can to 'fix' things and the other party won't oblige, what do you do then? Especially if they are so consumed with their emotions that they won't even explain to you what they are angry about?

Food for thought. I think there would be a lot less road rage, air rage, yard rage, etc., if people were more willing to let go of their anger by either of the two methods I described above. Talking it out and either kissing and making up or agreeing to disagree. Or to just let it go and move on.

 

[p_p_man]

I've just replied to K-Ms hate thread so...

...yes if the hurt done to me is serious enough I will hold a grudge until I clear it by getting revenge.

 

[cactiphile]

Forever and a day.

For strangers at least. For friends etc I might
forgive but unlikely to forget.

I also never forget a debt, I still have a mental
list of amounts still owed to me from 20 years ago.

Cactiphile, but my flowers are smiling today so so am I.

 

[Xander]

I never forget, sometimes I do forgive. But I never forget.

 

[TN_Vixen]

this is a good thread

because holding a grudge isn't a favorable trait to hold and it is sometimes difficult for us humans to admit that we can and do act in such selfish petty ways.

I try not to hold grudges. Life's too short, y'know? But, I have been known to not let something go and usually it is due to a perceived betrayal by someone whom I trust(ed) and respect(ed).

Pretty much everything else barring hurtful behavior towards children is forgivable and forgetable.

 

[Chuckus]

I'm too forgiving. I can't carry a grudge. It's a waste of my time and energy.

I agree with you Lavendar. I might stay mad for a week tops, but I always let it go and try and at least agree to disagree. Life is too short.