Spence99
semi-retired
- Joined
- Mar 4, 2004
- Posts
- 42,532
katiebarthedoor uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
katiebarthedoor's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
When katiebarthedoor has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but katiebarthedoor can kill him and take it.
katiebarthedoor once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
katiebarthedoor doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
If you ask katiebarthedoor what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
katiebarthedoor only masturbates to pictures of katiebarthedoor.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, katiebarthedoor instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
katiebarthedoor appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," katiebarthedoor replied, "That's no glitch."
katiebarthedoor lost his virginity before his dad did.
Since 1940, the year katiebarthedoor was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
katiebarthedoor sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, katiebarthedoor roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
katiebarthedoor's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF katiebarthedoor!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with katiebarthedoor!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
katiebarthedoor does not sleep. He waits.
katiebarthedoor is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like katiebarthedoor
katiebarthedoor was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have katiebarthedoor omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. katiebarthedoor smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met katiebarthedoor.
katiebarthedoor does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
There is no chin behind katiebarthedoor's beard. There is only another fist.
katiebarthedoor once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. katiebarthedoor roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "katiebarthedoor--more than meets the eye, katiebarthedoor--robot in disguise," and starred katiebarthedoor as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
The chief export of katiebarthedoor is pain.
katiebarthedoor is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
It was once believed that katiebarthedoor actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by katiebarthedoor himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
katiebarthedoor recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: katiebarthedoor.
If you can see katiebarthedoor, he can see you. If you can't see katiebarthedoor, you may be only seconds away from death.
On the 7th day, God rested.... katiebarthedoor took over.
When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, katiebarthedoor plays dead. When playing dead doesn't work, he plays zombie.
Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and katiebarthedoor.
Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world's hardest substance. But then they met katiebarthedoor, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial katiebarthedoor.
When katiebarthedoor was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.
If you want a list of katiebarthedoor's enemies, just check the extinct species list.
katiebarthedoor has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
katiebarthedoor once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
katiebarthedoor doesn't need to swallow when eating food.
If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? katiebarthedoor.
katiebarthedoor eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.
katiebarthedoor owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.
katiebarthedoor invented water.
katiebarthedoor went looking for a bar but couldn't find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. katiebarthedoor yelled over the roar of the flames, "always leave things the way you found em!"
One time while sparring with Wolverine, katiebarthedoor accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.
katiebarthedoor is Luke Skywalker's real father.
katiebarthedoor does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when katiebarthedoor roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.
In the original pilot for Star Trek Next Generation, katiebarthedoor can be seen powering the USS Enterprise warp drive with his roundhouse kicks.
katiebarthedoor's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
When katiebarthedoor has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but katiebarthedoor can kill him and take it.
katiebarthedoor once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
katiebarthedoor doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
If you ask katiebarthedoor what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
katiebarthedoor only masturbates to pictures of katiebarthedoor.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, katiebarthedoor instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
katiebarthedoor appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," katiebarthedoor replied, "That's no glitch."
katiebarthedoor lost his virginity before his dad did.
Since 1940, the year katiebarthedoor was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
katiebarthedoor sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, katiebarthedoor roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
katiebarthedoor's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF katiebarthedoor!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with katiebarthedoor!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
katiebarthedoor does not sleep. He waits.
katiebarthedoor is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like katiebarthedoor
katiebarthedoor was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have katiebarthedoor omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. katiebarthedoor smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met katiebarthedoor.
katiebarthedoor does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
There is no chin behind katiebarthedoor's beard. There is only another fist.
katiebarthedoor once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. katiebarthedoor roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "katiebarthedoor--more than meets the eye, katiebarthedoor--robot in disguise," and starred katiebarthedoor as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
The chief export of katiebarthedoor is pain.
katiebarthedoor is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
It was once believed that katiebarthedoor actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by katiebarthedoor himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
katiebarthedoor recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: katiebarthedoor.
If you can see katiebarthedoor, he can see you. If you can't see katiebarthedoor, you may be only seconds away from death.
On the 7th day, God rested.... katiebarthedoor took over.
When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, katiebarthedoor plays dead. When playing dead doesn't work, he plays zombie.
Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and katiebarthedoor.
Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world's hardest substance. But then they met katiebarthedoor, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial katiebarthedoor.
When katiebarthedoor was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.
If you want a list of katiebarthedoor's enemies, just check the extinct species list.
katiebarthedoor has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
katiebarthedoor once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
katiebarthedoor doesn't need to swallow when eating food.
If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? katiebarthedoor.
katiebarthedoor eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.
katiebarthedoor owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.
katiebarthedoor invented water.
katiebarthedoor went looking for a bar but couldn't find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. katiebarthedoor yelled over the roar of the flames, "always leave things the way you found em!"
One time while sparring with Wolverine, katiebarthedoor accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.
katiebarthedoor is Luke Skywalker's real father.
katiebarthedoor does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when katiebarthedoor roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.
In the original pilot for Star Trek Next Generation, katiebarthedoor can be seen powering the USS Enterprise warp drive with his roundhouse kicks.
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