How does one describe gun shots?

[rwsteward]

Gang,

I know it's an odd question but I've been kicking a story around in my head.

The female character shoots the guy that's been her tormenter for years. That's easy.

But how does one describe the gun shots?

She's really pissed and empties the gun into the guy. Not only does she empty the gun into him, she stands over his body still pulling the trigger of the now empty gun.

Bang!

Bang!

Bang!

Ah, that just doesn't seem to get it.

It seems, to me, to be a bit cartonish. I could just hear Robin. "Wholly swiss cheese Bat Man, was she pissed at him!"

I'm not a gun person but just watching the evening news the eyewitness aways say it sounds like 'pops.' I'm not sure Pop! Pop! Pop! works either.

I'm up for suggestions

 

[lance gt]

Gang,

I know it's an odd question but I've been kicking a story around in my head.

The female character shoots the guy that's been her tormenter for years. That's easy.

But how does one describe the gun shots?

She's really pissed and empties the gun into the guy. Not only does she empty the gun into him, she stands over his body still pulling the trigger of the now empty gun.

Bang!

Bang!

Bang!

Ah, that just doesn't seem to get it.

It seems, to me, to be a bit cartonish. I could just hear Robin. "Wholly swiss cheese Bat Man, was she pissed at him!"

I'm not a gun person but just watching the evening news the eyewitness aways say it sounds like 'pops.' I'm not sure Pop! Pop! Pop! works either.

I'm up for suggestions

Repetitive use of any word is amateurish. 'The barrel exploded numerous times, the lead projectiles finding their mark in ?'s chest." or 'She felt the relief of her misery each time she pulled the trigger, emptying every torment back into him."

Something along those lines might work for you.

 

[PennLady]

I bet you could find some videos of people target shooting -- perhaps those might give you ideas. It would also depend on whether you're talking about a lot of shots in a short time (like a machine gun or some other automatic), or individual shots fired successively.

I haven't had guns in my stories much, but I suppose I'd go with something like "tat-tat-tat," just once, for an automatic. I've seen shots described as loud bangs, blams, dull thuds, etc. It would depend a lot, too, on where the person hearing the shots is located.

Thankfully I've never heard a gun fire except on TV and in movies.

 

[lance gt]

A handgun shot can get mistaken for large firecracker bursts, as witnesses describe. As PL says, it depends on where you're standing in relation to the shots being fired. In 3rd person, you can be anywhere to describe the scene, but from a 1st person POV, it's the shooter, or the dead guy.

I would describe the number of shots, as in, 'She pulled the trigger nine times, emptying the clip into his chest in a close grouping, just the way the instructor had taught her, continuing to pull the trigger, even though blood poured from the puncture wounds."

 

[mynameisben]

Everybody knows what a gunshot sounds like. You don't have to write bang, pop, pa-ching, boom, or anything else like that. Perhaps you can write about the thunderous echo each gunshot makes and the rattling effects on windowpanes. Or appeal to other senses, such as the smell of spent gunpowder, or the erotic thrill the shooter experiences as she likens the warm blood splatter that hits her face to a favored sexual act, with every rhythmically delivered shot.

 

[lothwen]

We had a gun go off at my work one time, and it sounded like a balloon popping. Not sure that's the description you'll want to use though

 

[lovecraft68]

I think placing any sound effect like "bang, boom tat-tat" isn't a great idea

It would read like a comic book "Pow!"

I would describe the noise in the narrative.

Everyone jumped as the sound of a gunshot shattered the silence of the room.

The .45 in John's hand barked again and again as he fired wildly into the shadows.

Something like those anyway.

 

[sr71plt]

I'm pretty sure a gun barrel can only explode once.

 

[AsylumSeeker]

The first shot, fired with angry intent, discharged a forty-caliber slug that ripped through his chest. I watched, mesmerized, as the slug instantly tore through the fabric of his shirt and then the flesh behind. His face twisted, I imagine both in surprise and pain, as the life of him was rejected from the body that he once knew.

But I was far from done. Even as the corpse began to drop I fired again and again, the explosions deafening my ears as the bullets ripped through him over and over. Spurting blood was everywhere, mixed with other bodily pieces my mind was unable to comprehend.

 

[lovecraft68]

I'm pretty sure a gun barrel can only explode once.

That's a good point if the reader is kind of nit picky and some are.

Personally, I think I would have read past it knowing what the author meant, but others might say something about it. Best to be as accurate as you can.

 

[Nick0311]

My experience is the shooter generally doesn't hear the gun shots.

 

[lovecraft68]

My experience is the shooter generally doesn't hear the gun shots.

Interesting. I went shooting last week and even with ear plugs you can still faintly hear them. I would think shooting someone in a domestic setting you would hear them.

Unless you;re saying its an adrenalin thing. Even so I think the shots are described for the readers benefit.

 

[Nick0311]

Interesting. I went shooting last week and even with ear plugs you can still faintly hear them. I would think shooting someone in a domestic setting you would hear them.

Unless you;re saying its an adrenalin thing. Even so I think the shots are described for the readers benefit.

Sorry I should have been more specific:

In my experience when I have been shooting, not in training, I don't ever remember hearing the shots go off.

 

[lovecraft68]

Sorry I should have been more specific:

In my experience when I have been shooting, not in training, I don't ever remember hearing the shots go off.

Right, I got you, I've been through that, but was never sure if it was adrenalin or going deaf from everyone else shooting as well.

 

[Nick0311]

Right, I got you, I've been through that, but was never sure if it was adrenalin or going deaf from everyone else shooting as well.

Adrenaline. You should look up LT. Col. Grossman. He has a couple of books on combat stress.

 

[nakdsub]

Suddenly the silence was...

ripped from its fabric. Sound waves crashed into themselves, and the sound barrier was broken again and again as thunder and lightening spewed from the smoldering barrel.

Don't sell the steak, sell the sizzle.

 

[cfuhrer]

My experience is the shooter generally doesn't hear the gun shots.

I like this angle.

Heroine never heard the report of the gun, but only felt the resistance of the trigger and the recoil against her hand.

 

[lance gt]

Just anything other than bang bang, you're dead, lol.

 

[PennLady]

I just read over the one story I have that has characters with guns. I never mention the sounds, although they are obviously fired. All I can say is no one complained or brought it to my attention, so I guess it worked.

 

[rwsteward]

The first shot, fired with angry intent, discharged a forty-caliber slug that ripped through his chest. I watched, mesmerized, as the slug instantly tore through the fabric of his shirt and then the flesh behind. His face twisted, I imagine both in surprise and pain, as the life of him was rejected from the body that he once knew.

But I was far from done. Even as the corpse began to drop I fired again and again, the explosions deafening my ears as the bullets ripped through him over and over. Spurting blood was everywhere, mixed with other bodily pieces my mind was unable to comprehend.

Damn! Talk about pissed off.

 

[Innuendos]

Depending on whether you want to make the shots a grouped action (as has already been suggested) or treated individually, there's more than one way to approach it. Some factors to take into consideration, should you choose to describe each of the nine shots, including the aforementioned recoil:

1. Which shot kills the him?
2. How precise are her shots? Is she an amateur, or has she been training for this moment? How is she handling the recoil?
3. What does each shot do to him?
4. More precisely on #3, what type of gun is she using, and how much damage does each shot do? Are they grazing him, body shots, obliterating recognizable features?
5. How does each shot affect her mental state? Is she getting satisfaction from this, is she in a state of mindless rage, or is she trying to get it right and just not managing to do it?
6. More precisely on #1, how does the victim react to each shot? Is he screaming, in a state of shock, trying to get away, or trying to get at her?

It doesn't have to be gruesome, of course, as you can opt out of describing the damage and go instead for the mental impact on the shooter and the reactions of the victim without offering a lot of gory details. That's dependent on what kind of story you're writing, I imagine.

 

[snoopercharmbrights]

... it depends on where you're standing in relation to the shots being fired. ...

I've heard both, and when you know the gun is aimed at you, they really do sound different.

 

[Nick0311]

I've heard both, and when you know the gun is aimed at you, they really do sound different.

Snap means they're close, hiss means they are shooting at you.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Repetitive use of any word is amateurish.

Repetition is amateurish when it comes from lack of imagination, but in the right hands it can be VERY effective:

"We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender..."

This speech would've been much weaker if Churchill had been afraid to repeat himself. Repetition is what gives this speech its backbone. He's talking about a scenario of DEFEAT, where Britain is pushed back from France, forced to defend their own beaches and towns, and eventually pushed back into the hills - and the repetition of "we shall fight" emphasises that they will not waver no matter how badly and how often they are beaten.

'The barrel exploded numerous times, the lead projectiles finding their mark in ?'s chest."

YMMV, but "lead projectiles" feels overwritten to me. (Shades of EoA's "crimson life fluid".) Call a bullet a bullet.

 

[lance gt]

Repetition is amateurish when it comes from lack of imagination, but in the right hands it can be VERY effective:

"We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender..."

This speech would've been much weaker if Churchill had been afraid to repeat himself. Repetition is what gives this speech its backbone. He's talking about a scenario of DEFEAT, where Britain is pushed back from France, forced to defend their own beaches and towns, and eventually pushed back into the hills - and the repetition of "we shall fight" emphasises that they will not waver no matter how badly and how often they are beaten.



YMMV, but "lead projectiles" feels overwritten to me. (Shades of EoA's "crimson life fluid".) Call a bullet a bullet.

The repitition was in reference to the OP using bang bang, or, pop, pop, or a repetitive word to describe the gun shots. As LC stated, it leans towards comic book writing.