How Does Hair Affect Your Perception of Sexuality?

[midwestyankee]

This morning I was in a meeting with a friend who is mostly bald. He shaves his head but maintains a goatee and mustache, a look that my stylist has recommended for me - eventually. He's a good-looking guy and occasionally I have tried to imagine him with longer hair. Every time I do so, the result is a less-attractive guy. Apparently there's something happening to my perceptions of attractiveness when hair is not a prominent part of the equation. I think it applies to how I perceive women, as well.

I know some women with very short hair and there's something unique about them all: their sexuality seems raw and open for consideration. It's as if a face left unframed against the backdrop of the world invites our presence and our attention in a way that a face surrounded by long hair doesn't. Or maybe the long hair distracts us, leaving the face somewhat shielded. At least, this is the best I can do to describe how I respond to very short or very long hair.

How about you? Do you respond to hair/short or no-hair in this same way or differently?

And my apologies if the distinction I'm trying to draw here isn't very clear. It's still bubbling in my head and I may yet return to further clarify.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I like the way I look with short hair, but it makes me feel powerful and that turns me off, so I let it be long.

 

[intothewoods]

I hate to make it boring but I think whether a particular cut will work for you depends on facial bone structure and build. And what you wear with the haircut matters. Like I've had really short hair and it looks best if i wear things that are not covering my neck, if that makes sense. I guess it enlongates everything.

 

[BonBon1976]

On myself I prefer longer hair, nothing boyish. I have a roundish face so I like a sleek cut that lengthens it...

On men .. I prefer no hair, but a dark short haired style is nice too.

I have girlfriends who have to have long hair in their guys... I guess it all really boils down to preference...

 

[CutieMouse]

Oh the timeliness...

I'm already tucked in bed; might add more tomorrow.

When I told J the story behind my recent haircut [very short & boyish... Shorter than a pixie cut], his first comment was to remind me that from a biblical perspective, a woman's hair is her last (and greatest) vanity. Which was fascinating to me, because I refused to give up decisions re: my hair several years ago.

ETA: I almost forgot... The first time I saw the new cut, I had a moment of anguish and said "But... There's nothing to grab! I *like* it when lovers grab me by the hair!" 2 1/2 weeks later, and I find myself "petting" the shortest bit in the back whenever I'm stressed, just to get the risidual kinky endorphin kick and help me focus. The Men have both seen it now & agree its adorable (more so because of the story behind it); one feels the urge to pet me & the other likes seeing my neck so exposed.

Sooooo... Those who initially said my haircut is "gay" and/or there aren't any men out there who would find it attractive, can suck it.

 

[Netzach]

I've had an inch of hair and it's currently the longest it's been since like, third grade, well past my shoulders. I've had unnatural colors, extensions, bad cuts, great cuts. The only time I ever felt like my hair was sending the wrong message was a stylist who, given some creative latitude gave me a flip. A flip. Me. A flip that says "fun, cute, flirty, frivolous, mod housewifeish."

Having the WRONG hair is something that doesn't happen easily to me, but it's weird.

Oh, also losing a lot of volume to meds and illness, that blew. Most has come back, but it wasn't what it was at all. That messes with my self-perception of sexiness. I have "shave it and rock the wig" urges at times, but they'll wait another 30 lbs.

Both of my life partner people have been XY's with crazy gorgeous hair that every girl wants to pet and envies, grown long eventually but not when we started going out. I do love that, but I'm a realist, and I don't necessarily rule out anyone over hair loss. It's no big whoop, been there myself for a while on 6mp.

On chicks I just care that it's planned, groomed and maybe a style from the last 15 years. Some of those cute butches make Maddow's hair look cutting edge.

 

[rosco rathbone]

This morning I was in a meeting with a friend who is mostly bald. He shaves his head but maintains a goatee and mustache, a look that my stylist has recommended for me - eventually.

Ah, the "Devil Man" look.

Most guys can't actually get away with this look. You need hollow cheeks and a weatherbeaten, seen it all visage to pull it off. Not for nothing is the shaved head via baldness denial called "the combover of the nineties".

Then once you've shaved your head, you have to contend with the face hair. Does one grow a devil man beard in order to avoid looking like a human lightbulb? Then one faces the problem of resembling Anton LaVey.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I've had an inch of hair and it's currently the longest it's been since like, third grade, well past my shoulders. I've had unnatural colors, extensions, bad cuts, great cuts. The only time I ever felt like my hair was sending the wrong message was a stylist who, given some creative latitude gave me a flip. A flip. Me. A flip that says "fun, cute, flirty, frivolous, mod housewifeish."

Having the WRONG hair is something that doesn't happen easily to me, but it's weird.

Oh, also losing a lot of volume to meds and illness, that blew. Most has come back, but it wasn't what it was at all. That messes with my self-perception of sexiness. I have "shave it and rock the wig" urges at times, but they'll wait another 30 lbs.

Both of my life partner people have been XY's with crazy gorgeous hair that every girl wants to pet and envies, grown long eventually but not when we started going out. I do love that, but I'm a realist, and I don't necessarily rule out anyone over hair loss. It's no big whoop, been there myself for a while on 6mp.

On chicks I just care that it's planned, groomed and maybe a style from the last 15 years. Some of those cute butches make Maddow's hair look cutting edge.

That lesbonian pixie haircut is hard wired to my lizard brain for some reason. So hot.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Oh the timeliness...

I'm already tucked in bed; might add more tomorrow.

When I told J the story behind my recent haircut [very short & boyish... Shorter than a pixie cut], his first comment was to remind me that from a biblical perspective, a woman's hair is her last (and greatest) vanity. Which was fascinating to me, because I refused to give up decisions re: my hair several years ago.

ETA: I almost forgot... The first time I saw the new cut, I had a moment of anguish and said "But... There's nothing to grab! I *like* it when lovers grab me by the hair!" 2 1/2 weeks later, and I find myself "petting" the shortest bit in the back whenever I'm stressed, just to get the risidual kinky endorphin kick and help me focus. The Men have both seen it now & agree its adorable (more so because of the story behind it); one feels the urge to pet me & the other likes seeing my neck so exposed.

Sooooo... Those who initially said my haircut is "gay" and/or there aren't any men out there who would find it attractive, can suck it.

You know the passive, sexy, short grey haired mom on Walking Dead who shacks up with bad-ass Darryl? Like that?

*bone*

 

[midwestyankee]

Now this is getting deeper into my head. Last night I saw a commercial featuring Courtney Cox promoting the return of her Cougar Town series. All I could think of was how she'd look with inch-long hair. And the answer was: predatorily sexual.

Just to clarify my earlier thoughts: this isn't about what makes a woman look attractive in a conventional sense. I get that some haircuts work better with certain shapes of face and all that. And yes, a cute perky pixie just wouldn't cut it for Netzach. What I'm after here is the sense that long hair dilutes sexuality, or masks it as something else.

 

[Netzach]

Now this is getting deeper into my head. Last night I saw a commercial featuring Courtney Cox promoting the return of her Cougar Town series. All I could think of was how she'd look with inch-long hair. And the answer was: predatorily sexual.

Just to clarify my earlier thoughts: this isn't about what makes a woman look attractive in a conventional sense. I get that some haircuts work better with certain shapes of face and all that. And yes, a cute perky pixie just wouldn't cut it for Netzach. What I'm after here is the sense that long hair dilutes sexuality, or masks it as something else.

Au contraire. <150 pounds of me and a pixie cut is absolutely deadly.

I think contemporary long hair cuts from hollywood and runways are fairly not hot. I don't know why. It's not lack of effort, there's plenty. Maybe it's uniformity, like everyone seems to have the same hair whether it's actually good on her or not. I find most of these women such a commercial product as to be pretty sexless, the hair just seems to add to that.

...but I don't think Rita Hayworth's sexuality was diluted by hair for some reason.

Long hair on an XY is kind of awesome for me....as long as it's not a mullet, an irony mullet or anything like.

Then THEN - This hipster grow an unruly fucking lumberjack beard and get a haircut thing the kids are doing, what the hell gives? You submissive lumbercamp tots think you're going near my snatch with THAT, not even in our dreams, pal. There's how long hair ruins sexuality for me. I'd give Walt Whitman a lil kiss, I would NOT sit on his face, OK?

 

[Scarlett_69]

On myself I prefer longer hair, nothing boyish. I have a roundish face so I like a sleek cut that lengthens it...

On men .. I prefer no hair, but a dark short haired style is nice too.

I have girlfriends who have to have long hair in their guys... I guess it all really boils down to preference...

I also strongly prefer long hair on myself...I have had it shorter several times in my life, but I've always gone back to long, luxurious, red curls, because to me it enhances my sexual attractiveness.
When it comes to men, they don't have to have long hair, but I do think men with long, well-groomed hair are sexy as hell.....

 

[rosco rathbone]

This hipster grow an unruly fucking lumberjack beard and get a haircut thing the kids are doing,

"...the 1890s, that is"

 

[CutieMouse]

So far the trend has been thus-

Women with short hair love it; several have talked about how sexy and empowering a super-short cut can be.

Men seem to notice it as a "going against the norm" sort of thing, and are mostly complimentary.

Women who define a woman's femininity/sexuality by good 'ol southern standards... Hate it.

(I live in a town where women drop $$$$ at least once a week for a "southern charm" blow out. Huge rollers, brushes, 30+ minutes with a blow dryer. Texas women take their long hair very seriously. lol)

 

[KlaytonFrost]

I love pixie hair, and I definitely find it more sexual than long hair. Though at the same time I do like grabbing / pulling hair while having sex, so it's a toss up between the two...

 

[midwestyankee]

It's not the best example, but I think this diptych shows a hint of what I'm getting at:


http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g68/mwy_photos/sigourney_alien_3.jpg

 

[Scheherazade73]

It's not the best example, but I think this diptych shows a hint of what I'm getting at:


http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g68/mwy_photos/sigourney_alien_3.jpg

I think there is something to the idea of stripped-down humans without the trappings of hair/clothing/gender identifiers/cultural markers/what have you. It's very raw. I don't think having our hair and other stuff makes us any more or less...anything...or that it dilutes sexuality, per SE. I kind of think it's apples and oranges. Those other things are used for the purpose of sexual attraction - which, as we can see from those who posted, is a matter of preference. But I think most of us would agree that there is a human essence with a sexual partner that transcends just about everything, and is oddly sexual in its own right. There's us with our "stuff" and us without our "stuff," if that makes sense.

 

[midwestyankee]

I think there is something to the idea of stripped-down humans without the trappings of hair/clothing/gender identifiers/cultural markers/what have you. It's very raw. I don't think having our hair and other stuff makes us any more or less...anything...or that it dilutes sexuality, per SE. I kind of think it's apples and oranges. Those other things are used for the purpose of sexual attraction - which, as we can see from those who posted, is a matter of preference. But I think most of us would agree that there is a human essence with a sexual partner that transcends just about everything, and is oddly sexual in its own right. There's us with our "stuff" and us without our "stuff," if that makes sense.

Yes, this does make sense. In a sense, anything that we use to enhance our sexual attraction is a disguise. It's not the essence of who we are, it's a mask that we brighten to make our essence more noticeable or more appealing.

As I recall, Sinead O'Connor wore a shaved head for a time (for a long time?). Did people think that she was somehow more raw, more sexual in that look than if she'd had long hair?

 

[BiBunny]

Lots of women look great with short hair. I am not one of them.

After a rather unfortunate haircut (it's a long story) several years ago, I felt ugly and old and tried not to look at myself too much. My hair grows quickly, but it was so badly butchered that every time it grew out a little, a good bit of it had to be whacked off again in order to even it up. It took over 2 years to get it back to looking halfway decent again. During that time, I changed hair colors quite a few times, going from black to burgundy-ish to brown to blonde and back to brown again. It didn't help.

On the other hand, when I was younger--still in college--I had very long hair. It reached down to the middle of my back. It looked ok, but in truth, it's too thin to be that long.

When I turned 25, I decided I was too old for that stringy-looking shit, so I had it cut. After a few false starts, I found a cut I liked and for the most part have stuck with it since then (minus the short cut that looked like a Weedeater accident).

Ultimately, I feel most attractive with hair that's shoulder-length, give or take an inch or two, and black. The short hair did not make me look or feel at all sexy, and I will never, ever, ever do it again. If by some chance I lose my hair, there will be wigs.


When it comes to men, I am a fan of the bald head/goatee look if you've got the panache to pull it off. You've gotta have the right head shape, for one. I think it looks best on larger men with slightly round faces. The power lifter type, not the fat gamer type. But that's personal preference.

In my opinion, long hair on a man rarely works unless you've got that tall, broadly-built, strong, silent Native American man thing going on (rawr). Even then, it needs to be tied back most of the time.

I am not a fan of overly gelled or extremely messy-looking hair on men, either.


I like blonde women best but find dark-haired men most attractive. Odd, yes, but there it is.

TL;DR Bunny talks too much.

 

[Netzach]

Yes, this does make sense. In a sense, anything that we use to enhance our sexual attraction is a disguise. It's not the essence of who we are, it's a mask that we brighten to make our essence more noticeable or more appealing.

As I recall, Sinead O'Connor wore a shaved head for a time (for a long time?). Did people think that she was somehow more raw, more sexual in that look than if she'd had long hair?

I never found her sexual. Weird, huh. Sigourney there, sexual. Demi, sexual.

Sinead, Natalie Portman - Buddhist nuns. Not sexual.

 

[Ahlam]

How does hair affect my perception of sexuality? I think a person who wears their hair in a manner that showcases natural qualities is sexy because it suggests confidence. Confidence is attractive. Cropped hair on a woman is hot because it showcases her face. She is exposed. A balding person who refuses to 'comb over' or someone with a long mane of crazy curls bounding in all directions is alluring, too. I also think people who keep their natural hair color are sexier for the same reason. If you've got it, flaunt it. If you don't got it, go ahead and flaunt that too! I will squirm while trying not to stare at you too obviously.
I prefer to keep my hair a chin-length bob because it displays the best qualities of my hair while also not shielding my face and neck. Every partner I've had has ordered me to grow it long, though. It was once explained to me that long hair makes me appear more docile. I still don't understand it.

Then THEN - This hipster grow an unruly fucking lumberjack beard and get a haircut thing the kids are doing, what the hell gives? You submissive lumbercamp tots think you're going near my snatch with THAT, not even in our dreams, pal. There's how long hair ruins sexuality for me. I'd give Walt Whitman a lil kiss, I would NOT sit on his face, OK?

Thank you! You put into words the homicidal rant that loops in my head every time I interact with one of those bearded girl-pants wearing ninnies, and I could never have said it better.

 

[intothewoods]

Now this is getting deeper into my head. Last night I saw a commercial featuring Courtney Cox promoting the return of her Cougar Town series. All I could think of was how she'd look with inch-long hair. And the answer was: predatorily sexual.

Just to clarify my earlier thoughts: this isn't about what makes a woman look attractive in a conventional sense. I get that some haircuts work better with certain shapes of face and all that. And yes, a cute perky pixie just wouldn't cut it for Netzach. What I'm after here is the sense that long hair dilutes sexuality, or masks it as something else.

I get it, but I'm just saying I don't think it's a mystical thing so much as something boring like cheekbone structure. Having said that, I'm not so into mystical shit these days, so it's probably just me.

 

[intothewoods]

I never found her sexual. Weird, huh. Sigourney there, sexual. Demi, sexual.

Sinead, Natalie Portman - Buddhist nuns. Not sexual.

Sinead = child-like to me. Tee hee about Natalie Portman. I know so many guys who would give their left eye to fuck her.

 

[intothewoods]

"...the 1890s, that is"

Ooh, was that a Portlandia reference?

 

[midwestyankee]

Sinead = child-like to me. Tee hee about Natalie Portman. I know so many guys who would give their left eye to fuck her.

I would. Hell, the little fucker is only good for 20/400 anyway.