How do you know......

[Guest]

What to do? What to say? How to be strong?

When someone you love has cancer and all the treatment and chemo and poking and prodding, just isn't working. They want it all to stop, you want them to be with you forever.

How do you let go, but still remain strong for them?

How do you?

 

[Laurel]

I don't know the answer. I could never let someone I loved go.

((hugs))

 

[Kitte]

You close your eyes take a deep breath and lie.. and tell them you will be fine and it is ok if they just want to let go.. and then you cry and cry and cry, knowing that it wasnt an easy thing to say... but it was the right one.


Im sorry you are going through such a difficult time

 

[Guest]

You close your eyes take a deep breath and lie.. and tell them you will be fine and it is ok if they just want to let go.. and then you cry and cry and cry, knowing that it wasnt an easy thing to say... but it was the right one.


Im sorry you are going through such a difficult time

Thank-you, that's exactly what I have done. I have been second guessing myself all day. And crying, crying and crying.........

 

[Kitte]

Thank-you, that's exactly what I have done. I have been second guessing myself all day. And crying, crying and crying.........

I know it doesnt help but in time it gets better...it really does and in time you will see that you made the right choice.. because death comes whether we say it is OK or not... and sometimes they will hold on and suffer much longer then necessary just because they worry about those they leave behind. So ,we, the ones living must continue to breathe and know that there is a better place and our loved one will be in it.

 

[shyybabe]

What to do? What to say? How to be strong?

When someone you love has cancer and all the treatment and chemo and poking and prodding, just isn't working. They want it all to stop, you want them to be with you forever.

How do you let go, but still remain strong for them?

How do you?

Its hard but you have to respect their wishes. They are the ones suffering, feeling the pain much deeper than we can imagine.

You have to support them in their decision by letting go of your wish to keep them with you physically forever. No matter how much it hurts.

Do you really want to lengthen their suffering when the treatments aren't working? They will remain in your heart always and that is what you have to hold onto. Be strong for the battle is hard and they will need you more than ever if they stick with this decision.

 

[ag2507]

What to do? What to say? How to be strong?

When someone you love has cancer and all the treatment and chemo and poking and prodding, just isn't working. They want it all to stop, you want them to be with you forever.

How do you let go, but still remain strong for them?

How do you?

This is the toughest thing. Being there, being strong, being positive - BUT...

You need support too - I found that the months long effort gut wrenching and soul destroying - because the one person you share everything with can no longer share your deepest fears. A lot depends on the strength of the person you fear for but any attempt on my part to get support was considered disloyal: I hope this isn't the case for you. This one single factor was very destructive - I know others feel differently. However when the crisis is over (5 years!) you have to share this however hard it might be to ensure the relationship remains strong.

Our prayers go with you!

A

 

[sabbathstorm]

You support them the best you can. You try to be strong when they need you and take your tears home. It's good to have someone close to you that you can confide things to. In some cases, it might be good to see a social worker and talk about your situation. It is tough to say goodbye but it's even worse to see someone suffer.

In my own case, my stepfather was never told just how sick he was. Only my mother knew until she confided in me a few weeks later. That helped her a great deal in dealing with the situation. It wasn't too much longer before he passed on but at least he lived those last few weeks happily.