rexfelis
Love the Shoulders
- Joined
- Nov 5, 2001
- Posts
- 1,234
The reason I am writing this is to possibly help someone else who might be in my position save themselves a lot of trouble by realizing that they may be on the rebound when they otherwise would not.
By "rebound", I of course mean emotionally unstable after a relationship has ended, especially a long term one. Mine was over 2 years.
For me, rebounding is something that I cannot see "in the moment". Looking at myself right now, I would have no idea I was on the rebound, and that's what got me into this. It's only looking back on a trail of things I have done that are unusual, unsuitable, or undesirable - things that seemed perfectly natural to do at the time - that I see my being on the rebound.
Here are some examples of what *I* do when I am on the rebound. You may be different. But at least it's something.
1. Actions that once were guided by wisdom are now no longer, such as knowing where your limits are and abiding by them. Inappropriate expressions of emotion are common, in the sense that I no longer give an inch at a time, I just give it all at once. This leads to "instant relationships" which then fall apart because I have no idea who I am dating or what they like, etc. Going from zero to sixty and beyond.
2. Saying or doing things that are inappropriate. Things you would normally not say in a given situation. Speaking my mind when it is not appropriate, and then realizing that my mind was not thinking normally for me.
3. Becoming angry without knowing why. Becoming agitated without knowing why. Being unable to sleep at night because of things like this.
4. Taking things too personally.
5. Responding more extremely than normal to things.
6. Having a very strong urge to find someone to get into a relationship with. NOW. Impatience.
7. If I do let myself get involved, I find she tends to remind me a lot of my ex.
8. Emotional confusion. Being unable to tell what I really feel.
9. Conflict between mind and emotions. Heart says GO, mind says NO.
These are the things I have come up with after looking back on my actions for the last month. It was difficult for me because I had no idea what the "symptoms" were (for me). Maybe someone else will see this and think twice before letting themselves get involved while they might still be on the rebound.
Fortunately for me, my "rebound girl" realized that she is on the rebound at the same time I realized I am, and we parted ways amicably, as friends. But that's close to a "best possible outcome" situation, and not likely. Not to mention the emotional upset I caused myself over this.
So, hopefully, this will help someone else.
I would like to see people post what their rebound "symptoms" are, and tell how things went when they were on the rebound so I and others can understand this better.
By "rebound", I of course mean emotionally unstable after a relationship has ended, especially a long term one. Mine was over 2 years.
For me, rebounding is something that I cannot see "in the moment". Looking at myself right now, I would have no idea I was on the rebound, and that's what got me into this. It's only looking back on a trail of things I have done that are unusual, unsuitable, or undesirable - things that seemed perfectly natural to do at the time - that I see my being on the rebound.
Here are some examples of what *I* do when I am on the rebound. You may be different. But at least it's something.
1. Actions that once were guided by wisdom are now no longer, such as knowing where your limits are and abiding by them. Inappropriate expressions of emotion are common, in the sense that I no longer give an inch at a time, I just give it all at once. This leads to "instant relationships" which then fall apart because I have no idea who I am dating or what they like, etc. Going from zero to sixty and beyond.
2. Saying or doing things that are inappropriate. Things you would normally not say in a given situation. Speaking my mind when it is not appropriate, and then realizing that my mind was not thinking normally for me.
3. Becoming angry without knowing why. Becoming agitated without knowing why. Being unable to sleep at night because of things like this.
4. Taking things too personally.
5. Responding more extremely than normal to things.
6. Having a very strong urge to find someone to get into a relationship with. NOW. Impatience.
7. If I do let myself get involved, I find she tends to remind me a lot of my ex.
8. Emotional confusion. Being unable to tell what I really feel.
9. Conflict between mind and emotions. Heart says GO, mind says NO.
These are the things I have come up with after looking back on my actions for the last month. It was difficult for me because I had no idea what the "symptoms" were (for me). Maybe someone else will see this and think twice before letting themselves get involved while they might still be on the rebound.
Fortunately for me, my "rebound girl" realized that she is on the rebound at the same time I realized I am, and we parted ways amicably, as friends. But that's close to a "best possible outcome" situation, and not likely. Not to mention the emotional upset I caused myself over this.
So, hopefully, this will help someone else.
I would like to see people post what their rebound "symptoms" are, and tell how things went when they were on the rebound so I and others can understand this better.
