How do you handle negative feedback and Kink pushback from readers?

[KaceyLoveington]

Hi All, I’m just putting this out there because I’m genuinely curious how others navigate strong negative feedback, and people insisting that you should write their kinks and not other kinks.

I write mostly in the Interracial/cheating/cuckolding space, obviously a genre with lots of strong feelings. With all genres, there are lots of sub genres and kinks within it, and lately, I’ve been exploring some newer angles (for me) like introducing male bi-curious themes and female-led humiliation into evolving couples relationship dynamic. And honestly? I’ve really enjoyed writing it, it surprised me how naturally it came. But it’s also brought on a big wave of feedback, and not all of it’s been easy to sit with.

Some readers have said it’s the hottest stuff I’ve written and they want more of it. Others have made it clear they’re done with my work because of those kinks and have cancelled their subscriptions as a result.

I’ve always said to them all, that the core of my writing is about female sexual awakening within the interracial genre... that’s what excites me and where I live. And it will always be my main focus over time. But I do want to bring variety into the genre, not write the same story on repeat. Still…I’d be lying if I said the pushback doesn’t mess with my confidence. I’m not new to feedback, but I’m finding it harder to stay centred lately, knowing that no matter what I write there is going to be a vocal wave pushing back against it. Having to constantly defend why I wrote something or justify mixing it up kinda kills the fun. And now I know when I don't write the new stuff, those who enjoy that aspect are going to be annoyed also.

So I guess my question is:
How do you handle criticism when it’s not just “I didn’t like this,” but “You shouldn’t have written this kink, you should stick to this kink”?
Do you factor in reader preferences when deciding what to write next? Or just follow your gut and accept that some people will drop off?

I am someone who is probably far too oversensitive at times, so that doesn't help. I also like interacting with subscribers. So being active and interacting, and also overly sensitive and a people pleaser is proving to be a terrible combination

Would love to hear how others cope. I'm not looking for polished advice, just honest perspective from people who’ve been there.

Thanks

 

[mrs_mackenzie]

I and no doubt several others will advise you not to listen to negative reader feedback like that. If you're enjoying writing it, then write on. There's plenty of other stories those reviewers can go and find. You don't have to justify anything, except to yourself. And enjoyment should be more than enough.

I would also suspect that some of those reviewers who say 'I'm out' in the heat of the moment may well come back. They might not comment or follow, but I'd bet they'll probably re-read your other stories if they really liked them.

EDIT: And to answer the question of 'how do I handle it', I personally maintain a policy of not responding to comments on my stories unless it's pointing out a mistake or something like that. I do reply to people who make an effort to reach out personally, but only when it's positive. That way, I don't end up in a spiral of negativity just because someone was rude.

 

[GECuck]

I totally ignore it

 

[ElectricBlue]

How do you handle criticism when it’s not just “I didn’t like this,” but “You shouldn’t have written this kink, you should stick to this kink”?

I offer them their money back, which is a polite way of saying, " Fuck off. It's my story, I wrote the one I wanted to write, not the one you wanted to read."

Do you factor in reader preferences when deciding what to write next? Or just follow your gut and accept that some people will drop off?

Never. As I say, I write me, it's up to them to write them.

 

[KaceyLoveington]

I offer them their money back, which is a polite way of saying, " Fuck off. It's my story, I wrote the one I wanted to write, not the one you wanted to read."

Never. As I say, I write me, it's up to them to write them.

I've offered refunds too...Kind of feels freeing. And no one has actually ever said yes to the offer.

 

[TheRedLantern]

If I were selling my work (either through Amazon or a subscription like Patreon) and saw myself drifting from what THE READERS think are my core themes, I would consider making a new pen name and publishing the new stuff there. I'd let my list know about it and do whatever I can to make subscribing to both painless and no more expensive than what they'd been paying.

Pen names are like brands. When you've done a lot of work to establish a brand in the public consciousness, trying to expand the brand to cover something new is always tough and rarely works as well as managers hope it will. Creating a new brand is usually more successful.

I am someone who is probably far too oversensitive at times, so that doesn't help

Me, too. Sometimes feedback or a comment sends my brain into a death spiral. It helps to have someone you trust who can help you put things in perspective when your brain is tunnel visioning and makes the leap from "this person didn't like one detail in my story" to "I'm a worthless human being who adds no value to the human race." It usually takes me less than an hour to make that jump. What I need in that moment is for someone to help me STOP so that I can start to get perspective again.

Feel free to DM me if that's ever the case. I've read your stuff and would be happy to remind you of how strong it is any time you need it. The interracial category is tough because it's kind of 3 categories trying to coexist ... black/white, white/asian, and everything else (okay that's a bit of an oversimplification but as someone who writes the white/asian kind I always feel a little like an awkward, nerdy interloper in the black/white cool kids playground)

 

[SimonDoom]

So I guess my question is:
How do you handle criticism when it’s not just “I didn’t like this,” but “You shouldn’t have written this kink, you should stick to this kink”?
Do you factor in reader preferences when deciding what to write next? Or just follow your gut and accept that some people will drop off?

I am someone who is probably far too oversensitive at times, so that doesn't help. I also like interacting with subscribers. So being active and interacting, and also overly sensitive and a people pleaser is proving to be a terrible combination

There is no easy answer to this to someone who is admittedly sensitive. I'm not sensitive, so it's really easy for me. I just say, "Too bad." Others have their kinks; I have mine. If they don't like mine, I don't care. I DO care about readers who share my kinks but think I could have done a better job exploring them in my story. Those comments I pay careful attention to.

It helps to have a thick skin, and I think most readers build thicker skins over time.

Here's another tactic: focus on the positive. If you are getting good, appreciative comments, then that's great. Let yourself feel good about that. You know you are doing something right. Focus on those who like what you do, not those who don't.

 

[THBGato]

I’ve always said to them all, that the core of my writing is about female sexual awakening within the interracial genre... that’s what excites me and where I live. And it will always be my main focus over time. But I do want to bring variety into the genre, not write the same story on repeat. Still…I’d be lying if I said the pushback doesn’t mess with my confidence. I’m not new to feedback, but I’m finding it harder to stay centred lately, knowing that no matter what I write there is going to be a vocal wave pushing back against it. Having to constantly defend why I wrote something or justify mixing it up kinda kills the fun. And now I know when I don't write the new stuff, those who enjoy that aspect are going to be annoyed also.

This is always going to happen if/when you try to extend yourself and push beyond your boundaries.

I think you have to decide why you are writing and who for. If you are writing for yourself, then as hard as it is, you just have ignore the feedback. If you are writing for your readers, then it's different.

I used to work in the music industry. I managed an artist who changed their sound significantly every single album. Drove me nuts. I loved the music, but I totally understood why fans of the first (very acoustic, folk-influenced) album were nonplussed when they turned up to a concert to be confronted with 15 minute long doom rock tracks. They didn't want to find the core of the songs. That artist has now retired completely from touring and works as a therapist these days. Funnily enough, they struggled to build a fan base, but, if they have any regrets about changing their style so often they have never voiced them to me. They rarely listened to anyone's feedback (certainly not mine!)

There probably is a balance to strike, a way to take readers with you. Perhaps if you have recurring characters whose journey readers follow over several stories or very long ones - if they get to see where the characters are coming from and understand the story logic behind their development, you may well convince readers that even though they don't personally like the kink, the kink is right for the characters. Personally, I don't really like the D/S kink, yet writers such as JCMcNeilly (hero worship) and Redgarters (a melody of surrender) convinced me it was right for their characters sufficiently enough that I stayed with those stories.

Good luck!

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

Hi All, I’m just putting this out there because I’m genuinely curious how others navigate strong negative feedback,

I delete it.

 

[NotWise]

You might consider posting your explorations in different categories. I don think that interracial is a kink that alienates a whole lot of people--though it might, depending on how its played out. But some of the other kinks you listed are polarizing for readers, and those stories might best be posted in fetish or another category that caters to the kink.

 

[OverconfidentSarcasm]

I’ve always said to them all, that the core of my writing is about female sexual awakening within the interracial genre... that’s what excites me and where I live.

That's the part that counts. You just need to decide whether you write because it's fun for you, or because you want to get as much praise as possible. In that sense:

How do you handle criticism when it’s not just “I didn’t like this,” but “You shouldn’t have written this kink, you should stick to this kink”?

I really don't give a shit.

I write for my own reasons. I understand that Literotica is a place that breeds reader entitlement. They're used to getting whatever they want for free, with little to no moderation in the comment sections, so I understand when they call for more of whatever it is they enjoy. But I'm either writing what I know... or I write crap.

It's that simple.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

I really don't give a shit.

I don't even pay much attention to the positive ones, though some give me a giggle.

 

[Nynah]

I am someone who is probably far too oversensitive at times, so that doesn't help. I also like interacting with subscribers. So being active and interacting, and also overly sensitive and a people pleaser is proving to be a terrible combination

I still have terrible people pleasing tendencies so I sympathize with you there.

You can't please everyone, no matter how hard you try. You could write the most technically perfect prose with layers upon layers of meaning and feeling and it still wouldn't be enough for some people. But if it's good enough for the majority of your readers who leave you positive feedback, then I think it's more than okay to listen to them and not the ones who insist on tearing you down or try to make you write how they want you to write.

 

[Voyeurkenneth]

I think the music example THBGato cited is a good one. Yes, some listeners may be annoyed by an artist’s new sound. But I’d bet that artist’s peers respect the artist a whole heck more for going for something different rather than staying static.

So Kacey, if it’s of any comfort, I think you have other authors’ respect for sticking to your guns and exploring the things you want to write. As long you’re happy with the end product, regardless of the noise, then that’s all that matters.

 

[Voboy]

Any commenter can, at any point, write whatever story they wish and quit bugging you in your comments about it. If they'd rather you write their story, they should be paying you.

In other words, ignore it and go on your merry way.

 

[Bamagan]

So I guess my question is:
How do you handle criticism when it’s not just “I didn’t like this,” but “You shouldn’t have written this kink, you should stick to this kink”?
Do you factor in reader preferences when deciding what to write next? Or just follow your gut and accept that some people will drop off?

I had a Patreon for a while and did occasionally solicit input on what they wanted to see, usually in the form of giving a synopsis of some stuff I was working on and polling for priority. It's not particularly easy to get a back-and-forth exchange between author and audience here on Lit, and since everything here is given away, if someone doesn't like it, I have no interest in hearing about it. I eventually stopped accepting comments and emails about the stuff I post here. Most of the feedback was positive, or at least innocuous, but I acquired a handful of obnoxious hangers-on and got tired of hearing from them. I never got any comments that seem quite comparable to your situation, a dedicated fan melodramatically storming away, but it's such an attention-seeking move that I'd find it almost impossible to take them seriously.

 

[Comshaw]

I think Nynah hit it on the head. You can't please everyone so don't try. There will always be some who don't like what you wrote. Here on Lit that minority, especially concerning certain kinks, are very vocal, very brutal and very unforgiving.

What do I do about such readers? A long time ago a teacher gave me a bit of sage advice: "If you get a lot of comments on what you write that are all in the same vein, you should pay attention to them. If you get many but few are about the same thing, you're on the right track."

I try to follow that advice. I look at the comments and balance that with the story score. If the comment is a spittle/insult-filled diatribe about the content of the story, but the score reflects something else I scratch my...parts of my body, yawn and move on.

It's not that I am immune to the bite of the asshole comments; it's just that over time, my skin has gotten thicker and the bite no longer holds the same sting as it did in the beginning.

As many will tell you, write the story you want to write. I do, but I am also pleased when the readers like it. That's the reason I post my work here, for others to (hopefully) enjoy. Don't let a few entitled asshats who probably couldn't combine any number of words to make a coherent story affect the enjoyment you get out of writing a tale.

Comshaw

 

[Lifestyle66]

If you are writing for yourself like I do, I just write whatever I like and think "Fuck'em if they can't take a joke." And I sometimes take the harshest criticisms and turn it into a caricature story to jerk their chains even harder!

BUT, if you're writing for money, then you need to consider your audience and adjust your writing to appease the majority! Not everyone will buy your product, with their tastes being different. But you try a new product, then adjust the formula, tweaking it to see what flavors they'll buy. As long as someone is buying it, you're doing something good enough.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

'You can please some of the people some of the time' is why there are so many LW type stories in EC, E/V, Group, Fetish and other areas.

 

[old_hippy_46]

If you are writing for yourself like I do, I just write whatever I like and think "Fuck'em if they can't take a joke." And I sometimes take the harshest criticisms and turn it into a caricature story to jerk their chains even harder!

BUT, if you're writing for money, then you need to consider your audience and adjust your writing to appease the majority! Not everyone will buy your product, with their tastes being different. But you try a new product, then adjust the formula, tweaking it to see what flavors they'll buy. As long as someone is buying it, you're doing something good enough.

Simply ignore them

 

[Britva415]

My default is to just ignore.

But sometimes I will mock them for ignoring the category, the tags I spell out at the beginning of the story so they can't miss them (since tags are hidden by default), and the information I gave away in the title and/or description, and reading the story anyway even knowing it was going to contain their kryptonite kink.

 

[CyranoJ]

Would love to hear how others cope. I'm not looking for polished advice, just honest perspective from people who’ve been there.

Overall, I believe that people who feel the need to come onto Literotica and try to police other people's kinks need to take that shit up with their therapist and leave me out of it. My approach is anchored in that belief.

There's a certain form of persistent Internet machismo on Lit that lauds "engaging" with these people or keeping their posts up on your stories out of fidelity to freedom of speech and whatnot. I don't buy any of this, I don't see a need to "cope" with such people, and I think it's a good thing that Literotica is set up to allow authors to control how much they have to interact with moral peacocking, bad-faith "critique" and assorted forms of nuttiness.

Ergo, if someone shows up on a story in NC/R or Interracial to yammer at me about how they supposedly "never" read this category and how only sick people post in it -- or if they show up to accuse me of this, that or the other thing -- I have no qualms about deleting them. I do it without a second thought and go on with my day. That's it, basically. For people who aren't aggressive or loony about it but are just trying to request something in their specific kink lane, I'm polite to them, but I otherwise don't pay it much mind.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Never fret about comments from somebody you wouldn’t have asked for advice in the first place.

 

[lovecraft68]

Ignore the noise and write on.

 

[BobbyBrandt]

How do you handle criticism when it’s not just “I didn’t like this,” but “You shouldn’t have written this kink, you should stick to this kink”?

I ignore criticism that isn't constructive. I don't delete any comments, and instead enjoy other readers calling out the ones who leave inane or disparaging comments. You will find a lot of readers with high confidence and low comprehension.

Do you factor in reader preferences when deciding what to write next? Or just follow your gut and accept that some people will drop off?

I consider preferences if enough readers voice them, but that seldom happens with the content of my stories. Reader preference for single submissions versus individual chapters was overwhelming, so I did convert four of my chapter stories to single submission and stopped submitting individual chapters all together.