How do you handle heartbreak?

[tswyk]

It happens to all of us – more than once or twice during our lifetimes. How do you handle or respond to heartbreak?

I tend to allow myself some “wallow” time, usually just ONE sleepless night. I immerse myself in my heartbreak, my unhappiness. I let it soak deep into my skin, my body, my being. I feel it to the depths of my soul – I’m allowed that. I own the pain and I want to become intimate with it before I let it go.

Then I shake it loose. It falls from me in little pieces – some of the pieces seem to want to stick and must be pried off. They are like shards of a broken mirror – I can see myself in each one, and, if I’m not careful, they cut me.

All of these bits of pain are placed in a box, covered and locked away in a closet of my heart for a time. Sometimes I’ve been ready to face that box in a week, sometimes it’s quite a bit longer. But, eventually, I feel strong enough to actually face my pain.

With all the pieces spread around me, I begin the struggle to examine each one individually before attempting reconstruction. Some are larger than others, and those are the easiest ones to start with. I take each piece, hold it in my hand, and let myself feel it. What part did it play in my pain? Did I learn something from it? Does it look different now – with the passing time? Am I able to see it more clearly now than before?

Each piece, big and small, goes through this examination. And, when I’ve explored all of the pieces and managed to reassemble them like a puzzle, I have a better understanding of myself, my dreams and my fears.

None of this is pleasant. Most times I am forced to face a truth about myself that is not pretty. But I always, without fail, come out the other side a better person. I’ve learned not to waste time and energy with regrets – life is for living and that’s my plan. I gain knowledge and experience each time I expose myself to the chance of heartbreak, and I’d rather have taken that chance and suffered pain, than to have let it pass me by.



So…how do you handle heartbreak?

 

[Eros Son Of Chaos]

One word..............Time.

 

[StondTmplPilot]

Not very well

 

[faust]

Smoke like a chimney and drink like a fish.

Actually, I do that all the time, but it's especially helpful after a breakup.

 

[rykdn]

personally i attempt suicide

 

[RawHumor]

With immature feelings of ill well and petty revenge tactics.

Okay, not really. Mostly I just pout a lot.

 

[Rubyfruit]

The last time I was really hurt bad, I made little notes about all the things that were wrong with him or the relationship and posted them all over my apartment.

Everytime I'd open a cupboard or drawer, I'd find one.

 

[perks]

cry, then find a new love.

 

[pipercatt]

Going through it now, and I am sort of surprised by my actions. I was told by my soon to be Ex that I am very independent. Well, surprisingly, the worst part of this break up is being alone. I am not handling that well.

To get through it, when I find myself in a funk, I try to get out and be social. I've been calling up old friends, meeting new ones, just forcing myself out the door.

Sure, part of it is ignoring the pain, maybe even delaying it awhile, but I really don't like the "I'm going to mad if I don't do something" feeling I've been getting lately.

And to be honest, my relationship kept me from being social in a lot of ways. I look at it as getting back into life again, which is healthy, right?

I don't know, maybe I've already lost my mind, and I don't know it yet.

 

[calypso_21]

I gain knowledge and experience each time I expose myself to the chance of heartbreak, and I’d rather have taken that chance and suffered pain, than to have let it pass me by.

So…how do you handle heartbreak?

You so eloquently stated pretty much how I handle heartbreak, though sometimes I don't take that box out and it still fills. But this hasn't happened in years. So when heartbreak comes to visit again, I will have to think carefully on how I handle it.

 

[tswyk]

The last time I was really hurt bad, I made little notes about all the things that were wrong with him or the relationship and posted them all over my apartment.

Everytime I'd open a cupboard or drawer, I'd find one.

As usual, I like the way you think!





* HUGS to you, Pipercatt *

 

[Wiggles]

Let's see...

Tears, poetry, cleaning, moping and more tears.

Binge drinking, partying and getting myself into situations I really shouldn't be in. Sometimes I burn the stuff they gave to me, if it was really terrible (the breakup, not the stuff).

Denial, depression and numbness.

Finally I'll start going on dates, improving myself, working through issues and basically getting over it.

I'd say I need some practice, but I don't think so!

 

[plasticman33]

Cry silently, toss and turn at night.

Sit alone and contemplate what went wrong.

Feel an internal rage, at myself and at her.

Slowly accept the inevitable.

Refocus my mind.

Move on, but hold the memories locked away.

 

[cutie pie]

Cry, scream, pound on the walls.

Analyze it incessently.

Withdraw into myself.

Gradually emerge from my solitude.

Flirt. A lot.

Generally in that order.

 

[Rambrat]

I immerse myself in my heartbreak, my unhappiness. I let it soak deep into my skin, my body, my being. I feel it to the depths of my soul – I’m allowed that. I own the pain and I want to become intimate with it before I let it go.

exactly, beautifully said!

 

[cymbidia]

Disbelieving, i deny it at first, deny the emotions, the facts, the change. But one cannot forever deny a thing of such monumental importance and so, soon, i have to begin to take small peeks at the heartbreak.

The small peeks allow the pain to begin to seep through the interstitial spaces in my skin, and then the whole godawful stinking tide of misery and fear and inconsolable loss rushes into my heart, swamping my mind with memories and plans of what were. The ache intensifies until every breath is agony and i think i'm going to sink beneath the weight of such crushing pain.

But i don't sink.
I continue to breathe.
The tears continue to flow, unchecked, uncountable.

I begin to grieve for the bright plans, for the intimacy, for the love and respect and longing and ache of being half of a whole.

Somewhere down the line, i begin to talk about it.
Talking helps.
Having other people listen and validate my pain help.
Hearing that i'm not alone helps.

All that helps allow me to find the courage to jump into the river of pain that i know is waiting for me. One has to swim to the other side to get past the heartbreak and into the healing beyond. There are no shortcuts, no shortcuts at all.

When you're ready, you have to swim into that river of pain.
Scream.
Cry.
Take deep breaths.
Breathe in and out.
Feel it, no matter how terrible it is. Feel it. You can't find a way through and out the the other side of that terrible pain unless you first embrace it.

After a while - who knows how long, it's different for us all - you may find, to your astonishment, that you're going for several hours at a time without breaking down.

A while after that, you get a day or two when you're calm and at peace, no ghosts haunting you.

Life returns to balance at some point.
We're never the same as we were before the heartbreak, but such is right. Life sometimes hands us devastating pain in order to teach us really good lessons. That's the big payoff: pain can incite tremendous growth.

I'm so sorry for your heartbreak, if it is yours.
I've been there a few times, the last one not too long ago.
I'm so very sorry.

b.



http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=59131

 

[Up Too Late]

whew....

I hate it, but I force my self to move on, usually at 2:00 AM when I wake up, its the worst... but I try hard as hell to verbally say "What ever!" roll over and fall back asleep. And when I think of her during the day its another "what ever!"...and get back to what ever I was doing.

kinda works for me....

 

[fifi]

Heartbreak

When a close family member dies, like my grandma did last week, do I hear a touching song, watch a sad episode, or a song from a animated movie, and cry till I can't no more, and to lift me up, I hear songs like McFerrin's 'Don't Worry Be Happy'.

 

[KillerMuffin]

I liberally imbibe in theraputic fucking with as many persons as I feel comfortable with at a time. Hopefully closely related to, good friends of, co-workers of, and preferably supervisors of the previous love of my moment.

And who says fond fucking memories never last?

 

[Carl East]

So…how do you handle heartbreak?

This is quite a hard question to answer, mainly because we all handle it differently. I don't think anyone doesn't get depressed, if not a lot then a little.

With me, it was a depression that set in, so bad in fact that I didn't care about anything or anyone, I ended up losing my job over it. After a month of that I started to pull myself together, as we all do eventually.

Of course then you have to try to make sense of it all, and try to get on with your life, at first it's hard knowing you won't be seeing that special person again. As always time is the great healer in these matters of the heart, so you move on hoping for the best in your future.

Carl

 

[spankableBelle]

i cry...i sleep...i write...

if i write it, my deepest darkest emotions and pain, i feel ever so much better...one of those such stories of mine is posted and i got a message on icq today that it broke their heart today to read it, to see that much despair put into words...

after writing and a bit more crying, i look for someone to play hard with...

belle

 

[Darowyn]

I write sad songs. Sometimes they are good , sometimes just sad, but I sing them until they don't fit my life any more, then it's over.

 

[morninggirl5]

I cry, i withdraw from everyone.

I isolate myself in a world of complexities. I plan more activities than i could ever accomplish. I force my feelings into a box and put them away until i feel ready to handle them.


Then when i'm able to examine it all without falling apart, i open that box and let myself grieve. After that, i always end up being friends with the person who's broken my heart.

Once i've accepted that it's over, i move on quickly. It's usually not into a new relationsip, but i'll have a new passion to keep me occupied and my inner self safe.

 

[Quiet_Cool]

It happens to all of us ? more than once or twice during our lifetimes. How do you handle or respond to heartbreak?

I tend to allow myself some ?wallow? time, usually just ONE sleepless night. I immerse myself in my heartbreak, my unhappiness. I let it soak deep into my skin, my body, my being. I feel it to the depths of my soul ? I?m allowed that. I own the pain and I want to become intimate with it before I let it go.

Then I shake it loose. It falls from me in little pieces ? some of the pieces seem to want to stick and must be pried off. They are like shards of a broken mirror ? I can see myself in each one, and, if I?m not careful, they cut me.

All of these bits of pain are placed in a box, covered and locked away in a closet of my heart for a time. Sometimes I?ve been ready to face that box in a week, sometimes it?s quite a bit longer. But, eventually, I feel strong enough to actually face my pain.

With all the pieces spread around me, I begin the struggle to examine each one individually before attempting reconstruction. Some are larger than others, and those are the easiest ones to start with. I take each piece, hold it in my hand, and let myself feel it. What part did it play in my pain? Did I learn something from it? Does it look different now ? with the passing time? Am I able to see it more clearly now than before?

Each piece, big and small, goes through this examination. And, when I?ve explored all of the pieces and managed to reassemble them like a puzzle, I have a better understanding of myself, my dreams and my fears.

None of this is pleasant. Most times I am forced to face a truth about myself that is not pretty. But I always, without fail, come out the other side a better person. I?ve learned not to waste time and energy with regrets ? life is for living and that?s my plan. I gain knowledge and experience each time I expose myself to the chance of heartbreak, and I?d rather have taken that chance and suffered pain, than to have let it pass me by.



So?how do you handle heartbreak?

Wow! Well-said.
In all honesty, and this is very sad, I don't let people in, not even close. I know these words are true, and intellectually I realize I cannot deny them, but emotionally, I can't bring myself to accept them. I'm far too sensitive, and I worry too much about what people think and what will happen as a result to realize what I'm missing and get over it.
My only real heartache occurred over a year ago, and the only reason it hurt so much is because I felt her behavior was telling me I wasn't good enough, attacking my confidence and self-esteem instead of rejecting me in general and saying it just wasn't going to work.
I know, I'm a weak sonofabitch...too insecure and too withdrawn...
Sorry, I didn't really address the idea presented here, but I did get that admittance off my chest, which is good. This place works well for that.
Thanx for listening...

 

[april-wine]

Me........I bury it deep, show it only to a few trusted friends....
I try to breathe, slow and even.....Trying to dull the ache as it spreads.....And cry......