How do You Flirt?

[Bengal52]

I'm sort of at a loss as to how to flirt. I'm wondering how the many sexy people of Lit do it themselves.

 

[h_i_s]

i've never been much of a flirt. When i was single and decided to seek a man's attention, i made brief eye contact while sometimes smiling softly, and then placing my attention elsewhere. When a man held an interest towards me, that is all it took to influence his attentions in my direction. From that point on, a bit of good conversation while simply being myself would get things going, when meant to be.

¸,ø¤º°sinn0cent°º¤ø,¸ proudly owned by, and devoted to INSIDEYOURMIND

 

[EJFan]

i usually walk down the beach with my penis slung over my shoulder.

actually, i don't do much flirting either. in the rare instance that i do, it's usually with someone i know fairly well (and they're often spoken for), and it consists of largely sophomoric, suggestive banter. it's silly, but the reason i do things that way is because it's totally safe... we all know it's not serious because we're friends and the flirtee is in a relationship... so i won't bruise my ego.

 

[Little Bird]

On the rare occasions I flirt it doesn't start intentionaly. We start to know each other, start to like us and if it comes to happen that we feel slightly attracted to each other we're making hinting jokes about it. Sometimes they get more and more daring, sometimes they do not. If they do, well you can think it yourself...

 

[juCluC]

I flirt all the time, sometimes without even realising I'm doing it! I'm very open with my body language and maintain eye contact. I'm the classic flirt, licking my lips, flicking my hair etc but what really gets the guys going is the suggestive banter Good luck!

 

[Fleatopia]

It depends on how well I know the guy I'm flirting with. I'm not good at, nor do I pretend to be good at, girly shit like make up, fixing my hair, and walking in high heels, so I'm honestly at a loss whenever I think about flirting.

However, I have had some success with simple actions that I do without even thinking. The key is to stop thinking, apparently.

Eye contact is super important. If someone doesn't meet my eyes, then I know they aren't interested in me in any fashion whatsoever. It's only polite to then keep my contact with them limited and brief. They don't want me to bother them and I move along. If there's lot of eye contact then at least I know they're enjoying my company and open to more of it.

Once that connection is made, with my heart pounding somewhere in the vicinity of my throat, I might show intense interest in some aspect of them that I know about. I don't usually have to fake that interest, I tend to be attracted to strange, interesting, odd, and entertaining men (my SO being an excellent example of this).

Touching, innocent and in public touching, is the next step and something that can really juice things up. A hand on a shoulder, a reaching out for balance if you somehow 'lose' it or 'trip' over something invisible, the subtle leaning in toward them while talking and maybe one bit brushes another... All acceptable and perfectly innocent! And boy, they're nice.

I think I should flirt with my boy some tomorrow. He'll be confused but pleased. heheheh

 

[Volomon]

You know what screw flirting, man a great deal of people don't catch on such as myself. I've had serveral woman flirt, not understand the meaning of all the bsing till down the road. Some are pretty damn direct but not direct enough I mean just come out with it, if your that damn interested.

Try to be more direct! All women!

 

[trodas]

Womens aren't direct, because they are womens

Live with it, or try something else.

 

[Bengal52]

So, those of you who flirt often.....

Any recommendations as to a good way to flirt and attract attention from the oposite gender.

 

[Munachi]

hm... i am not good at initiating flirting. and sometimes even when someone else initiates it i either don#t catch on or am to shy to respond. at other times, when i feel comfortable enough (or when i am drunk, the more likely scenario i guess) i quite enjoy to flirt... I guess the trick is to do it in a way of that it is not very clear at first or jokingly so if you get rejected you can always say you weren't trying anything you were just joking - while at the same time testing out how the girl responds.

as for your request to women to be more direct - i think it'd freak a lot of guys out, actually. at least that is my impression. someone very direct can also be quite intimidating. also the whole "not quite knowing how it is meant" is part of the fun. flirting is a game in a way. if the results were clear from the beginning there'd be no fun in playing.

 

[SlyKitten]

Flirting isn’t about going towards a goal; flirting is the goal. There is nothing to ‘catch’, just relax and enjoy it while it lasts. Just because I flirt doesn’t mean I want more. If I want more, I’ll tell you, and you’ll have only 2 possible answers: yes or no.

Start with a sexy, shy smile, look into his eyes and when he makes eye contact, smile, look away and quickly look back. Touch his arm when you laugh. Lick your lips when he says something interesting, nod and laugh at his jokes.

Tell her you like her hair today. This sweater is pretty, where did she get it? Look into her eyes, not into her cleavage.

I think that women here in America are afraid of being treated as ‘sex objects’ and are afraid of flirting for the sake of flirting, or are so blasé by the usual come ons that they just roll their eyes and refuse to play along.

 

[EarnestImp]

Social Issues Research Centre guide to flirting.

No kidding. This is what the eggheads say. And we all know how socially adept eggheads are.

http://www.sirc.org/publik/flirt.html

 

[FurryFury]

If I had to hazard a guess I'd say I probably flirt about 85% the time with both sexes. I don't swing yet, so flirting is all it is.

It usually starts with eye contact and a smile. With men they do seem to prefer the look away and then retaking of their eyes. Then it might or might not progress into actual conversation. If so, double entendres and outright blunt things might be said by me particularly with a girl, cause hey, we are both girls, we can do that. *EG* There may be some "innocent" touches as well.

Either way there will be licking of lips from time to time, the playing with of hair. More smiles and body language clues will follow. I don't have any trouble having folks come talk to me, ask me to dance or what have you. It happens much easier now in fact then it did when I was younger.

A few years ago, I went out on a couple of Girl's Nights Outs, to help a friend going through a difficult divorce. All my single friends were at least ten years younger than me and I hadn't been out like that in a long time. I was feeling pretty drubby. I tried to look as good as I could though. I went and before I even had a chance to flirt the guys swarmed me! Was I surprised! I danced with them all then passed them along to someone single. They were fun nights to say the least. I will cherish the memories. Now those friends are all married and having kids. They are usually too tied up to do much more than get coffee or lunch with. I enjoy that too but guess I'll have to find some more girls to hang with. *pouts*

 

[captain snakebite]

Accidentally (apparently)

 

[JustSkye]

I flirt too much, I think. But it's a part of who I am. I try to be good, but my sexuality just won't be quieted. I'm an outgoing, fun person. And I flirt, even very lightly with many.

 

[Eilan]

i usually walk down the beach with my penis slung over my shoulder.

That was YOU?!?! Who would have thunk it?

I think that I'm a lot like you, EJFan. I'm not all that great at flirting, but I am quite the expert at innuendo and double entendres in a "safe" situation.

Apparently, when it comes to being on the receiving end of a flirt, I wouldn't know a "pass" if it hit me right between the eyes. Or so I've been told.

 

[muddpuppy]

Well it really depends on where i am at....
If its a small social gathering and there is someone im attracted to around i will start by pickin on him, then i make sure he catches me lookin at him
( eye contact) when he notices i look away or continue a conversation...
like it was no big deal, when he has somethin funny to say i always laugh or smile while lookin at him now as time goes by eventually your eyes will meet again ( maybe during silence) this time you dont look away so quickly, when this moment comes smile and talk to him with your eyes,( now the thoughts runnin through his head, i think she likes me) this should only last about 10 seconds otherwise hes gonna wonder why this weirdo is starrin at him. By this time you have his attention and usually he will be curious and make the next move

 

[EJFan]

Apparently, when it comes to being on the receiving end of a flirt, I wouldn't know a "pass" if it hit me right between the eyes. Or so I've been told.

amen to that... i can't count the number of relationships i've missed out on because i'm inept at this too.

 

[Brinnie]

there is no set in stone way hoe to flirt and if you follow rulesl you'll just be ordinary. All flirting required some effort and confidence. express yourself. any more questions? Ask a n00b

 

[Lycantil]

Be positive and enjoy the moment.

PS. sometimes bring a little drunk helps

 

[Bengal52]

Thank you

I love all these great ideas about flirting. Its really cool to see how others do it.

I'm one of those who wouldn't know flirting until it smacked me between the eyes....

 

[NYSubGrpplr]

I don't really flirt or like it when girls flirt with me. I just talk to them like I would anyone else and it works a lot better than that giddy shit and silly shit.

 

[RUbensBeautY]

I have been reading this thread last night and decided that an educational bump is in order.

 

[OnlyInDreams]

I'm a big fan of the big smile and direct eye contact. I don't think you have to be coy or giggly. But I do think that direct and prolonged eye contact is a big, big thing.

I think it does take practice though. And relaxation. And being comfortable with yourself.

*big smile* *looking deeply into your eyes*

 

[JustinStrange]

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