how do you feel about pee?

[tiger_smurf]

Ok, so I'm just wondering if you'd all be totally disgusted to read a story, not posted in fetish, that had some brief peeing in it. Not watersports, not scat and definielty not focused on toilet activities of any kind. Just a description of a female character pissing before a sex scene. Would you skim over it and keep reading? would it bother you or take away from the rest of the writing? even if the story was good? I know that it's a turn-on for some people, but i'm curious if it's a gross out for the rest of us, or just something that can be overlooked. Is there any way to make it sexy to someone who doesn't think it's yucky, but isn't aroused by it either? Like if it's voyeuristic, as well? any thoughts?

-ck

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I don't care for excrement in any form. It has about as much erotic appeal to me as does reading about a character farting or throwing up. It also creeps me out to know that I'm reading a story by someone who does find this stuff arousing. I'll usually stop reading.

Just my opinion.

---dr.M.

 

[Boxlicker101]

I would never feature peeing in a story unless it was about golden showers, and I will probably never write on that subject. There have been times when the narrator has awoke with morning wood and the woman has climbed on top for a quicky. Afterwards, when the guy has cum, he is in a hurry to get to the bathroom. From there, I usually say something like "After relieving myself, I washed my hands and returned to the bedroom."

I have never even mentioned a woman peeing although sometimes they have gone into the bathroom but I have never gone into any details at all. It is not a turnon to me so I omit it.

 

[CharleyH]

Well, I can understand a few things here - first - its natural to go to the washroom - it happens everyday, and whatEVER, unless you're the Queen, you have sex afterwards - or unless someone is so uptight and anal, but that's a different story.

I don't find it to be a turn on. In fact, from a symbolic point of view, it would be anti-sexual and more SM, since you would be trying to objectify the act, or the person doing the act. I think Almovadar did something similar in a film called, 'Tie me up, tie me down' and certainly, in a different context, Passolini did it in 'Salo'.

Yet, I would accept it in a story as long as there was a context that suited the scenario. Why is it there? To turn you on? To turn the reader off? Either scenario is acceptable to me, as long as it makes sense to be there.

My theory is who cares who you offend - if you are doing something new and interesting from a theoretical point of view, then roll with the punches that you just might get

 

[tiger_smurf]

I had a character who had been drinking on a beach, with her boyfriend. I wanted to show a certain lack of modesty in the character without simply saying "she's not modest." it's a few sentences of the story. Frankly, I don't see the big deal. I'm not easily offended. I'd probably only stop reading a story if it had something to do with rape or animals.

 

[rgraham666]

It's really not my cup of pee… uh tea.

 

[PorscheLynn]

I don't remember the story title, or I'd post it here, but I've read a story with a breif mention of the female character peeing. It's definitely not my thing. But the way it was described, it made sense. Within the story, she's on the phone and the phone sex lasts a while. After she cums, she has to use the bathroom. Rather than hang up, she uses a portable phone. There was already a breif mention when she was describing a fantasy about she fantasized about having a slave girl who did everything for her; washed her, douched her, wiped her, had sex with her. In the fantasy description is a very short mention, but that helps ease into it.

Anyhow, I don't know what that does to help, exactly. But that instance didn't make me click back. I read a story where a woman was raped qand peed into, that I clicked back. There's definitely a range of reasons and disgust levels here. Some folks click back no matter what. Oh well. Don't force the story to be something you don't want to please the readers.

Or... maybe you can convey that sense of immodesty by simply having her so desperate for the bathroom she's pulling her pants down before she's in there, let alone got the door closed.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

"To pee or not to pee? That is the question."

Frankly doesn't do it for me, but for others maybe.

Skipping to the loo........

~A~

 

[Pure]

Tiger,

//Ok, so I'm just wondering if you'd all be totally disgusted to read a story, not posted in fetish, that had some brief peeing in it. //

I think I'd rephrase in terms of conventions. In 1000s of hours of films, how often have you seen peeing or shitting? changing a tampon?

In mainstream film you are never to see fucking in graphic detail. Formerly you didn't see it at all.

Literotica genres have rules. An incest story is presumed heterosexual. When I incorporated a brief homosexual encounter, a reader cried 'foul'. As a couple posters indicate; peeing goes to fetish or bdsm; it's not for 'erotic couplings.'

So you have to live with convention or take your chances. DH Lawrence referred to a woman's asshole and paid the price.

Who among the general public is 'disgusted' is not really an issue, as this would rule out porn itself, at least in Crawford Texas.

J.

 

[tiger_smurf]

There's no way I'd post a story in fetish over one line that explains how a character relieved herself on a beach. It was not included as a turn on, just a happening. It isn't essential to the story, but it does tell a little about the character. I don't feel like I should remove it. So, if people go nuts, oh well. It would sadden me If many readers here can't get past that single line in 4000+ words of story. But, to quote another line that people said should never have been; Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. Over half the members here don't even write, and half of the ones that do aren't any good. Let them criticize. Bah.

-ck

 

[Liar]

I take it that your story is not about piss as a sexual thing. Personally, I'd think twice about it, since the subject is more likely to be a turn-off. When writing any fiction I tend to ask myself "is this part nessecary, does it add to the intended mood and style of the story"

Does the bathroom break make an important difference in the plot? If it is crucial for the plot, then sure. Otherwise, beware that if you go into lenght about that, it will probably turn a number of people off the story.

 

[tiger_smurf]

No, there's no lengh to it at all. just a line describing and a line of reaction. It does, however, lead to the removal of the character's panties.
She's a free-sprited character and it comes accross blatently throughout the story. I don't think there is any interruption of the story due to that description, but that's why I asked.
Of course it isn't *necessary* but I don't think it takes anything away either. Then again, I'm not the type to be easily offended. Which is why I even bothered to ask what other people think. I think that I'll leave it and let it be read. If it turns out that I made a mistake I will correct it, but I'm pretty sure it will be an enjoyable story for readers.

 

[tiger_smurf]

Alright. . .Here it is. You can decide for yourself if you think it's too much.

“I have to piss.” She groaned.
“Maybe if you wouldn’t drink so . . . ” I stopped suddenly as I watched her pull her slacks and knickers down around her ankles, squat in the sand with her legs spread apart, and release a stream of pee onto the beach.
“Oh my god, that’s the best feeling ever.” She chimed emphatically. She’s not one for modesty, Valentine.

 

[Guest]

Alright. . .Here it is. You can decide for yourself if you think it's too much.

“I have to piss.” She groaned.
“Maybe if you wouldn’t drink so . . . ” I stopped suddenly as I watched her pull her slacks and knickers down around her ankles, squat in the sand with her legs spread apart, and release a stream of pee onto the beach.
“Oh my god, that’s the best feeling ever.” She chimed emphatically. She’s not one for modesty, Valentine.

I have to say, in that context I think it's ok and it does work. I can see what you are saying about using that passage and why you wanted to use it. It does go a long way to providing some characterization - and that's always good, as far as I'm concerned. You are showing the reader that she has very little modesty, not merely telling them. Good on you!

Go for it, and sod anyone that objects.

Lou

 

[PorscheLynn]

Three cheers for "show, don't tell"!

I absolutely think this is fine. If the reader is a little turned off, that's ok; I take it the character telling the story is a little bit. And if the reader is drastically turned off by a natural body function that's serving as good story telling, well, as Lou put it, sod them, right?

 

[damppanties]

Alright. . .Here it is. You can decide for yourself if you think it's too much.

“I have to piss.” She groaned.
“Maybe if you wouldn’t drink so . . . ” I stopped suddenly as I watched her pull her slacks and knickers down around her ankles, squat in the sand with her legs spread apart, and release a stream of pee onto the beach.
“Oh my god, that’s the best feeling ever.” She chimed emphatically. She’s not one for modesty, Valentine.

I like the last line. That somehow makes it all okay.

 

[Colleen Thomas]

I don't see that there is any real problem with a character needing to use the loo. If nature calls at an inconvienint time, it can add some realism to a story, god knows there have been times such a neccessary trip has interrupted something I was a lot more concerned with.

That said a graphic description of it is probably going to do more harm than good to your story. Even then, there are exceptions. If your character is in an awkward situation and nature's call provides a good escape you may have to give some description of what he/she is doing in the bathroom if you are using the solitude provided for that character to work through his/her feelings or options. That's a lot of internal monologue and you may be forced to break it up with some actions to make it more readable.

I think here you should be guided by about the same rules for violence in an erotic work. A graphic depiction of voiolence is not erotic to most, but in some stories, it is NEEDED to move the plot or establish characters. Graphic depictions of violence straddle a fine line between essential to the plot and gratuitous. I would think graphic descriptions of bodily functions walk that same line.

If for example Character A is being seduced and is married, she might very well retreat to the temporary safety of the ladies' room to puzzel out what she wants. In that case some description of actions would probably be warranted to break up long sections of interior monologue. How graphic your deptiction is would depend up on your writing style, but I would hazard a guess you could do this with some detail and not throw the reader. At the same time you could do it with practically no detail as well.

You have creative liscence to write each scen as you see fit, but I would caution that a graphic depiction would cause many readers to back click unless handled very delicately.

-Colly

 

[Guest]

 

[oggbashan]

It's not done, but...

...that's a convention.

Most novels and films do not include visits to the toilet. If it adds to the story then why not?

There is a large difference between including it as part of the development and writing for the 'golden shower' fetishists.

If it isn't essential, I would be inclined to omit it.

Og

 

[tiger_smurf]

hehe, thanks everyone for your input. I think seeing a woman pee CAN be a turn on for me, but I don't think it's the pee itself, just the fact that it's a very private act that's not usually done with others present. I would probably be just as turned on by watching a woman shave her legs or take a shower. It's the feeling of trust that is implied by letting someone watch that turns me on. Or, in some cases, the feeling of no shame.

I remember the first time I saw my ex fiance use the bathroom. I was so turned on, not with what she was doing but because she felt comfortable doing it with me there.

As for seeing it in movies, I have. Not many, but a few. I'm in class to become a screenwriter, but so far there haven't been any lessons on the use of bodily functions in a script. Maybe for finals?

-ck

 

[Pure]

Tiger:

early
"There's no way I'd post a story in fetish over one line that explains how a character relieved herself on a beach. It was not included as a turn on, just a happening."

later
I think seeing a woman pee CAN be a turn on for me, but I don't think it's the pee itself, just the fact that it's a very private act that's not usually done with others present. I would probably be just as turned on by watching a woman shave her legs or take a shower. It's the feeling of trust that is implied by letting someone watch that turns me on. Or, in some cases, the feeling of no shame.

I remember the first time I saw my ex fiance use the bathroom. I was so turned on, not with what she was doing but because she felt comfortable doing it with me there.
=====

This 'no fetish' line reminds of the men who say "I'm not gay. But yes I occasionally give a blow job to a young fellow, and it's just sex."

 

[CharleyH]

Tiger:

This 'no fetish' line reminds of the men who say "I'm not gay. But yes I occasionally give a blow job to a young fellow, and it's just sex."

LOL

 

[tiger_smurf]

Pure: Are you saying that you think the story should be posted in fetish? Because of the line that I used? If not, then it doesn't seem like you have much of a point. I stand by what I said, but that doesn't mean what I wrote was intended to arouse the reader.

It would be more accurate to say that I do have somewhat of a fetish, but I did not write a fetish story. Or, you might prefer the analogy, "I'm Bi, but currently I'm dating a woman."

-ck

P.S. I don't know how to do the qoute thingy

 

[ClaireBlossom]

I wrote a story where I just stuck some peeing in there without really thinking about it:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=135429

I thought of it not so much as a sexual thing but as a marking ritual. It's his way of testing her limits and her way of submitting to it. I didn't know so many people found the idea of it offensive.

I didn't get one bit of feedback for or against it, no one mentioned it at all. Is it really such an important issue? Can it be non-sexual and still be this important? I think it serves an important purpose when it draws the line between these characters and sexual activities we all participate in. It's a way of showing the extremity of the character without going into boring detail about the corset or the room or whatever.

 

[The_old_man]

If it is part of the story flow, leave it The example you gave us was not objectionable in itself. Any action that is "In Charicter," and part of the story flow should be accepable. After all, we are writing porn.