How Do You Deal With ...

[Norma_Stits]

seeing someone you know on an amateur web site?

I am sure I recognise a woman friend of mine on a web site, I now have a completely different 'inner picture' of her

Has this ever happened to anyone else? How did you deal with it?

What would you do if you were recognised?

 

[infinity706]

I've never even had this happen to me. (Yeah, surprising, I know ) I doubt it would matter at all to me, though.

 

[StrayKat]

Has this ever happened to anyone else?

No to me.

How did you deal with it?

I would keep my mouth shut.

What would you do if you were recognised?

I dont "do" any websites so not possible.

I dont think seeing someone I know like that would change my opinion on them. I am well aware people are not all what they show in public. And what they dont want to show is none of my business.

 

[tinawill77]

It has never happened to me personally, but a friend of mine from college saw her mom on a site. I'm not sure how that exactly came about, accidentally or if she was told. All I know is that her mom's master took pictures and made a website. Her family situation, as a whole, is a little complicated.

As long as it wasn't a immediate family member, I wouldn't say anything. If she wanted people to know, she would have said something and maybe will.

 

[kaycee217]

I'd keep my mouth shut and move along.

 

[Feral_Intelligence]

A question of mine is about the nature of the website. Is it like an actual porn site or just one of those amateur places where people post their videos? If it is the later, than I would mention it just to make sure she knows that it is there, that it is not something that an angry ex put up. Other than that, just use your discretion. If you think she would be embarrassed, then leave it alone.

 

[culloden]

I'd mention it discretely. A good friend would take that risk. If it's up against your friend's will, she should know about it. And if it's up with her consent, yet she finds you mentioning it embarrassing, well, just what in the hell was she thinking posting it on the 'net anyway?

 

[Lost_Yonder]

I think a lot depends on the nature of your relationship with her. As long as she knows the site is there and seems happy posting her pics and vids, what's the point of confronting her about it. We all have our "secret" lives - you are here reading erotica chatting with others, which is probably not something you advertise openly with your friends.

The main point is, is it her doing it or someone else and she doesn't know about it. Explore the site and see if you can find out...

 

[jcallny]

There are a few things that you can do in this situation

If she is your girl, well then you can take advantage of he ability to be an exhibitionist. Why not now you have a girl to get those skimpy things for and she will wear them. She is self confidant and would probably go to a nude beach with you.

Also you can take advantage of the the fact that she did it once and she may be persuaded to do it again, for you privately or for anything else.

if on the other had it was something in her past then that is up to her, she may feel like a slut or have been in a position that she needed money. Who knows.

Only you could feel out the position. But all in all if you love the person it should not bother you in the least. At least if your never planning to run for political office, or if you marry her and you need a security check into her back ground as well.

 

[youngleo]

I dont think I would say a word. But Im a male. IF the person posting pics were female, I would just keep watching for new pics and enjoy.

 

[StrayKat]

Also you can take advantage of the the fact that she did it once and she may be persuaded to do it again, for you privately or for anything else.

Now that would sure end any relationship for me.

 

[subwannabe]

There are just too many variables to give you good advice on this one.

 

[Ravenwind]

Like Lost Yonder said, we all have our secret lives. And everyone who's put their pics up on an amateur site has people who know them... you just happen to be one of 'em. The issue is whether it was intentional on her part, or not. Prodding, though, exposes your 'secret life' to her as well. The best approach, imho, would be to gently reveal your knowledge, like, "I found a picture on the 'net of someone who looks uncannily like you, and I was wondering if it was your picture", and if she asks "where at?", reply "a site where people can show off their... ass..ets... *wink*" (or something equally vague, yet the point can still be subtly carried through, being explicit only if subtlety doesn't work). Judge her reaction from there... if shock that it's happened, be "the shoulder to cry upon" and see what you can do for her to help preserve her dignity. If pride, send a compliment her way. If shock that you know (but no reaction to her pics being up), encourage her that it's okay, and if she doesn't want it, you'll avoid her pics.

If I were in her shoes, it would depend on who "caught" me... I'd be embarrassed as hell if most of my family members caught me (though a few, we'd laugh about it); if a friend, though, I'd just wink and laugh about it, knowing that we both have a "secret side"- my pics, and them for looking at it, and as such, neither of us would betray the other's secret; and if a mere aquaintance, I'd respond, "well, that's one more thing you know about me", and speak of it no differently than I would any other hobby of mine. (To be honest, though, I wouldn't be caught dead with anything like that- I don't even like my picture taken while fully clothed).

 

[infinity706]

I'm surprised it's never come up for me, being that I'm posted on some large number of websites. I guess it might be too embarassing for some people, though, especially since you won't find me without something extra kinky. Hell, I even won a $10 pornsite membership contest with a photoset of fucking a stuffed animal. (Yeah, that sort of killed much hope for many other entries and I won by a landslide) I also won a membership to a kink porn site with a CBT video.

 

[redpaint]

I know someone who has posted, never bothered me even when I am able to met up with this person.

If you really think that someone has posted it with out her knowage then you might want to say something.

 

[Isid]

seeing someone you know on an amateur web site?

I am sure I recognise a woman friend of mine on a web site, I now have a completely different 'inner picture' of her

Has this ever happened to anyone else? How did you deal with it?

What would you do if you were recognised?

Is this one of those "good for the gander but not goose" questions?

Can you determine if she actually posted a picture or someone else did the posting?

Takes all kind, ya know

 

[BertrandRussell]

I'd congratulate her on it, telling her it was well done.

There are two possibilities here: either it was voluntary or it was not.

If it was voluntary, then she may be a little apprehensive about it, much as many writers on this site are apprehensive about people's reaction to their stories. A compliment may be just what she would like. ( Have you ever known a woman who was not insecure about some part of her body? )

If it was not voluntary, then I'm sure that she would want to know as soon as possible so she can start the process of getting it removed.

Umm...the only caveat here is that you must be sure that it was her before you do this.

 

[Isid]

I'd congratulate her on it, telling her it was well done.

There are two possibilities here: either it was voluntary or it was not.

If it was voluntary, then she may be a little apprehensive about it, much as many writers on this site are apprehensive about people's reaction to their stories. A compliment may be just what she would like. ( Have you ever known a woman who was not insecure about some part of her body? )

If it was not voluntary, then I'm sure that she would want to know as soon as possible so she can start the process of getting it removed.

Umm...the only caveat here is that you must be sure that it was her before you do this.

wonderful post... the question(s) is or are - (1) was she of age and (2) did she herself share it in private or public - if she be a forum participant, even underage, privacy is the rule - I for one wonder....

 

[DewMee]

What would you do if you were recognised?

I have often wondered about this as apparently I've been video'd having sex several times over the last couple years. Granted I've been quite drunk, and the only thing i really remember is the fact a cam was being used at times. But I as yet haven't come across anyone who actually said the recognized me from some vid they saw. I did have to wonder last week when a guy I was chatting with at a bar said he thought he recognized me from somewhere. It turned out he was just using a line. Still, I'm not sure what I would say if it happens.

 

[muppiethesecond]

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[bruisedangel]

You don't DO anything about it. Not unless you want to open a can of worms. Although, you may want to. I've recently found a friend of mine, whom I've suspected of being gay, online looking for a male partner. Inside, I'm cheering for him. I want him to come out, I want him to be happy. However, I know he's in no way ready to let anyone in his life know what his inclinations are. So, until he's ready to say something to me, I'll go about as business as usual with him.

 

[York]

Many years ago I uses to travel home on the bus from school and got chatty with a lass who seemed very friendly, down to earth and straight laced. Much to my shock, another male] friend who also caught the bus, one day pulled me aside and said "Have you seen this?". He pulled out a copy of some magazine (this was well before the Internet) to show me pictures of her completely nude in some rather uncompromising positions. (She was of legal age I would stress.)

Seeing someone on line is also something I have wondered about. I saw a pic the other day of someone that really reminded my of a friend I play football (soccer) with and I found I was thinking this very question again.

 

[SweetErika]

I fell in love with this married girl, the first stupid mistake, and later that year I accidentally found her on a adult dating site, turned out she was as bi as aphrodite, which shook me for a while. I greatly admired her for being sexually liberal, but it feels bizarre knowing there's pics of her only a click away, and there is that peculiar pain in your gut you get when somebody you're head over heels with is madly banging away with other people every weekend. Sex is distracting always, but this is in the worst way that is going.

I would rather not have known to be honest, private lives should be private. If I found that she was bi without knowing about the website, that would have been fine, but since it is, it gets to you, you don't want to know those kinds of intimate details, but they nag you when you're at your weakest moments.

I've found myself particularly attracted to bisexual girls since, seems obvious why.

Not really, no. Just because this particular woman is sexually liberal or promiscuous and happens to be bisexual doesn't mean most bisexual women have similar ideas on sex. So, the next 100 bi women you meet may very well be quite conservative and wholly monogamous; the same could be true for the next 100 lesbians, gay men, straight women, etc., you meet.

How do you accidentally find someone you're in love with on an adult dating site? Did you click the wrong link to get to the site, then perhaps register and search/browse profiles by mistake?

 

[muppiethesecond]

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[Noor]

I have recognized men I have known here on lit. Its kind of shocking. As soon as I recognize them I stop looking. If what I see involves some dishonesty on their part, I tell them, but otherwise I usually don't.

If it looks like they might not know they are being exposed I let them know. For instance, one day I noticed someone had a full nude picture of themselves on their IM, I tracked them down that day and let them know and kept an eye on it until they successfully got it changed.

I guess I look at nakedness of people I recognize on the web in a sort of biblical way, I don't look unless I am specifically asked to. If I think they maybe unwittingly or unwillingly exposed I try to figuratively cover their nakedness.