How do you break up with someone?

[Devilish1]

I would like to know if you was to break up with someone how do you go about doing it? Im not talking divorce, dating-breaking up kinda thing. Ive been dating someone for 6 months and i dont know what is to happen with our realtionship. He loves me and my son with everything he has, but i dont feel the same about him and he knows this. Its been a HARD 6 months dating him knowing how he feels about me and i dont feel anything but a close friend towards him. Just needing some suggestions incase i end up breaking his heart.

 

[Linedrive]

I'd say be honest with him, he at least deserves that much. It might hurt him now, but it will be better in the long run than continuing to lead him along, only to break his heart after he has more time and more of his emotions invested into it.

 

[Mister Ryder]

Honesty is the best policy. As you said he already knows that you don't feel the same way about him, more than likely he is hanging around hoping that you will change your mind. This is unfair on not only you but on him as well.

Be honest, tell him that the relationship is not going anywhere and that you should both start seeing other people. Otherwise you are just wasting time, time that could be used to find your soulmate.

The longer you leave it the harder it will be.

 

[The Gimp]

being dragged thru a half hearted relationship is definately more painful than getting dumped all at once. just do it and get it over with.

(before i click the submit reply button honesty urges me to confess that i just dumped this girl after sleeping with her for six months knowing damn well that she wanted a relationship but i knew from the beginning that there was no chance that i would ever want her like she wanted me.)

 

[deliciously_naughty]

The hardest thing I ever had to do was break up with a man who was sitting there telling me he wanted to marry me. However, I had gotten wrapped up in someone wanting to marry ME that I hadn't given a whole lot of thought as to whether or not I actually wanted HIM. Bottom line....I didn't.

We had a horrible three hour back and forth conversation. Him crying, me crying b/c I hate hurting others. Personally I think my best friends method is more effective and faster. Not necessarily nicer, but faster and more effective. He will not come back. Tell him you're sleeping with someone else...whether or not you are isn't important. Just say you are. Generally speaking he won't call back.

Your kid makes things more messy I imagine. But keep in mind this is your life...if you're not happy you just have to sit him down and say "X this isn't working". List why. Are you sexually unfufilled, would you rather masturbate than have sex with him (been there), does he just not give you the butterflies you deserve to have. Be honest but don't crush him like a bug. Most importantly don't do the "let's be friends route." It's always a bad idea. You'll either end up back together, friends with bennies, or in a wierd friendship where he's always hoping for you to come back. Give yourself real time away from each other to dull the feelings.

Good luck...it's never fun and it never gets easier...

 

[CallaLily]

I think everyone has hit the nail right on the head. Be honest, but not brutally honest. And whatever you do, DON'T say "But we can still be friends.." lol, that is the WORST thing to hear when you're on that end of the break up. Good luck.

 

[knightstalker]

Honesty is the best policy but since I didn't read any reply's yet I bet you have already heard this...You have to let him know you want out and do not drag it out it will only cause him more pain..It is never easy to break up with some one there are no easy ways to do it someone will get hurt but if you are not happy as you have stated then it is for the best ...

 

[Devilish1]

(before i click the submit reply button honesty urges me to confess that i just dumped this girl after sleeping with her for six months knowing damn well that she wanted a relationship but i knew from the beginning that there was no chance that i would ever want her like she wanted me.)

Your answer interested me. Thats kinda how ive been in the last 6 months.
Im curiously wondering did you ever tell her you loved her when in reality you didnt?

As for everyone elses replys, yes ive heard all of your answers before.
Ive tried to break up with him in the past and it didnt go well. So i ended up with him another 3 months or so.

I HATE having to hurt anyones feelings. My last realtionship after i got divorced it took me 4 times to finally to say its over for good this time.
Hell it took me a few years to finally get my husband to understand i wasnt happy and i was wanting a divorce.


I know the "Still be friends" thing doesnt work. No matter if your friends with them, they dont want to be with you and it always makes things harder on them.
In a case like that i usually dont contact them for anything.
If they email or call thats fine, but no real contact.

This guy is so damn good to me and my son. my family keep telling me what a catch he is and telling me how good he would be for me and my son. They know he would"take care" of me.

I wished i could see him differently but i just cant and just hearing him tell me he loves me all the time and all i can say is "I LIKE you too" breaks my heart when i see his face start to frown.

He so much wants to hear me say i love him. But i know not to.
I cant say thoses 3 little words unless they come frome the heart and i mean them.

I just dont know how much more i can take of this.
I know all im doing is hurting him more and more by letting him get his hopes up that maybe someday i will love him back.

Problems like this is why i wished i never started dating.
Having a realtionship with my " toy" is alot less trouble....
Except when the batteries start running down.....lol(Just joking. Trying to make myself laugh.)

 

[Guest]

 

[huskie]

The longer you wait, the harder it will be on him. For his sake, do it soon!
I have to agree with honesty. It might help if you told him that you aren't ready to love anyone else either. If you wish you wouldn't have started dating, you probably aren't ready.

yep........ kill it before it really grows!!

 

[knightstalker]

Listen to E.E she is always straight to the point and doesn't mess around tells it like it is ...

 

[Guest]

 

[knightstalker]

awww shucks

 

[Guest]

 

[NiteRidder]

Breaking up !

Treat him the way you would like to be treated were the shoe on the other foot.

I would expect that would mean -

With respect-
Appreciation for what has been done-
Compassion for the hurt that will ensue-
and hopefully a firm tenderness-


Get it over with but don't make him regret bestowing his love on you. If you do, it can only make it harder for him to open his heart to another and no one should be made to feel that their love has been invane.

I disagree with some that feel ex lovers can not be good friends. I have done it several times- if you are truely good friends there is no need for that aspect of your relationship to end. Really good friends are hard to come by and should always be treated as a valuable resource, as you can never have enough of them.

Good Luck ! (to both of ya)

NiteRidder

"D"

 

[foxxxyred]

Honesty is definately the way to go. I think being lied to hurts more than any truth could.