How do you be sexy\seduce a guy?

[Endlessly]

Argh! God, I feel stupid asking this. All right, time for some brutal honesty on my part. I'm a sexually frustrated, sexually insecure virgin. I'm planning on remedying all of this in a month or so however-- have the time, place, and guy all planned out.

It's the GUY that's the problem.

I know he's attracted to me.. We spent a couple weeks having fun in my dorm room last October.. But where we're meeting up is actually a convention for a room at the online community where we both work-- think the Literotica Author's reunion WITHOUT the sex aspect. And hey.. If there's not going to be a sex aspect somewhere, and the one guy who can LOOK at me and make me wet's going to be there, I'm going to have to MAKE the sex aspect.

I'm really paranoid\unhappy with my appearance, and there's going to be quite a few other females there-- most of whom already have some sort of attraction to the guy I want to lose my virginity to. Or rather, give my virginity to.

So here's my problem, ladies. I've been so sexually repressed for so much of my adolescent life, I have not the first CLUE on how to go about seducing someone. I don't want it to fail and to look like an idiot. And on a side note: how can someone ooze sex appeal without seeming trashy? Is the whole 'sexy' thing inborn or can someone (ie. gawky lil' ol' me) learn how to be sexy? I'm casting hopeful eyes at Deborah and SouthernHelle here. Of course, male imput would probably be helpful here.. As long as it isn't anything like "Seduction is a two step process: One, strip naked. Two, bring beer." My guy isn't like that. *chuckle*

Ummm.. And he isn't even MINE. He hates relationships almost as much as he loves sex. But that I don't need help with-- not what I'm looking for from him anymore.

So, to review.. I have no clue how to be sexy or seduce anyone, and I need to lose my virginity. Now, excuse me while I go beat my head into a wall and wait to get laughed off the BB while I wonder WHY I write erotica then.

 

[Butterfly]

Endlessly, Endlessly...Don't be so hard on yourself...(alright guys, stop your laughing, I can give the advice, I didn't say I followed it...Deborah stop laughing and help this little thing with her dilema) *smiles*

Young lady, I saw your pic (I know old pic) but you are a very beautiful girl and your posts are great so don't worry about whether your gonna have sex appeal....

Be yourself and enjoy being with him. Smile alot (no don't over do it) flirt with him, you've already done things with him that would make his head spin, soooo. If this is truly going to be a sexual experience and not wanting to head into relationship(which from what you say scare him half to death)then flirt like hell girl and just plain relax and enjoy! I don't know if your a touchy feely type of girl, but get close to him, touch his arm and smile, bump up against him and look him in the eyes...You'll be amazed if you just let yourself relax and let it come it will. You don't want to come across as a forced issue here...and if you have to take a stick and beat the other girls off with it.NO NO NO---just kidding, no violence doesn't help and gets ya in trouble.
Got an idea, go get a sexy purple(of course) teddy, all lacy and all...wear a blouse that buttons and let a little show...he'll love it i'm sure. Well hope my little helps out...Just be yourself girl and you'll do just fine.
Now endlessly move over on the wall dear and I'll join you with embarassement as I'm laughed off also. After all I'm what twice+ your age and giving you advice oh that is a crack-up(Sorry Deb the age thing again...oops)*laughs and grins*

[This message has been edited by butterfly (edited 01-25-2000).]

 

[Fallen Angel]

LMAO Why in the world would you think you aren't sexy? Talk to him and flirt flirt flirt. If you aren't comfortable with your body then use that smart sexy brain. From your other posts, I gather he seems to like your body. If you can get him alone, hot and bothered then when the time is right tell him how you feel and what you want. I would leave out the virgin part (that might be the thing that has held him back <shrug> ) unless it looks like he is getting away then play that ace. "Oh please be my first." If he turns you down, check for a pulse.

I think you will find that that most of us guys may chase the thing in the short skirt and tight top but we end up spending time with and talking to the one with a sweet personality and a head on her shoulders.

Just this man's opinion.
Good luck and take along the necessities

Fallen Angel

 

[Michael]

All good advice. Endlessly, you've got nothing to worry about. I say that not because I "know" you will succeed, but because you've got a lot going for you.

As Butterfly said, you're an attractive young woman, and your posts show you've got a sexy mind, which is half the battle. Women with half your looks and one tenth of your brains get to enjoy guys because they are comfortable with their sexuality. You can be too.

One of your most perceptive comments is that you want to "give" him your virginity, instead of lose it. Exactly. As the others have said, make eye contact, smile, touch his arm, sit close, be a little revealing in your dress, but above all...

...don't focus on how frustrated you are and how much you "want" this to happen. I know that's very difficult, but you've got to address that. Focus instead on simply enjoying yourself...and enjoying yourself in a way that keeps you in his vicinity, smiling, calm, with a hint of mischievousness...

When I was your age, I "wanted" dates too badly and as a result, had very few. Never even kissed a girl 'til 18.

Now, at age 47, and not nearly in the shape of your 60 year old mentor, I find, just from being myself and enjoying myself and showing it, I have plenty of female attention. I've never literally picked someone up at a classical music concert and taken her home and bedded her, as I did in the Millenium story, but things nearly as unlikely have happened. And here you are, if you really are in person as you come across in your posts, young, fresh, spontaneous, highly intelligent, passionate, and full of vitality.

And don't forget, you've had fun with this guy before. You're not exactly an unknown quantity. Really, Endlessly, just relax and enjoy yourself. And while I'm thinking of it, keep one of those ubiquitous Bics handy, and smile at him from time to time, while appearing to absent mindedly stroke the pen.

I'm sure we'll all be happy to hear whatever good report you care to share, when you come back from your convention.

 

[Michael]

"Pleasure is seldom found where it is sought. Our brightest blazes of happiness are commonly kindled from unexpected sparks."--Samuel Johnson

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Practice beforehand. Spend the rest of the day listening to people and aksing them questions about themselves. Honestly. Don't tell a single story about you or add an opinion (stay with me here). Go overboard with the "it's all about you" thing. Try it for a day.

Then, when you're with him, start the encounter like that, making it all about how interesting he is. I swear to God nok man can resist that. Seduction is not about batting the eyes, it's about attention to the person.

Later, once he's crossed an intimacy line with you, then hit him with your own stories, so the relaitonship is an equal one, and it's on a deeper level. He'll want you.

As do I.

*Did I say that out loud?*

 

[Endlessly]

Butterfly, for crying out loud, will you just accept the fact that you're sexy and be done with it? Your advice is great, and as far as being twice+ my age.. I wouldn't take advice on how to seduce someone from someone who just turned 18 like me. I need voices of experience talking here. If I wanted to talk to an inexperienced kid, I'd be talking to myself, y'dig? *chuckle*

Hmmmm.. A purple teddy.. I could go for that. It's just a matter of cash flow. I know he loves plaid skirts, one day he was here I wore my button-across plaid skirt with a very sheer blouse and a lacy bra.. along with my black 5-inch strappy heels that were somewhat out of place. Needless to say it was at his needling, I was blushing profusely, and didn't really have the guts to leave the room. Should I wear that same outfit on the first day? He'd know I was wearing it for him, it'd give him an idea of what I wanted.

Fallen.. Incidentally, he already knows I'm a virgin. Yes, he's shown interest in my body, but most of the other women he was dating when he and I were seeing eachother (Part of the problem with an actual relationship with him, see) were thinner but not as curvaceous. I've taken up a couple sports and have been losing weight.. But here's another question for the ladies: how do you lose weight without losing curves? I used to be a 40DD, but I lost much weight and am down to a 36D. I like my chest the way it is.. and my abs are flat.. It's my legs I want thinner. Any suggestions?

Michael, you're right, I know this guy inside and out and it's all about seduction of the mind with him. So how do you seduce someone's mind in a group of people without everyone else looking at you funny? ..And I don't know if anyone can answer this question for me besides myself, but I'm going to ask anyway.. How do I become comfortable in my sexuality? If this is a self-esteem issue I'm screwed.. Or rather, NOT screwed, which would be a problem.

Oh yeah.. Someone told me to relax.. Didn't they? *snicker* Sorry, too much tension without release. *wink*

Oh, and Dixon.. Hold on while I stop giggling.. Oh, yes. That was how I got him into my bed before.. Being totally enthralled in him. Thing is, he hates talking about himself.. When I first met him I had to play 20 questions to find out his major. And he's not the type you go telling all of your innermost secrets to. So if you don't talk about him, and you don't talk about yourself, what do you talk about?

[This message has been edited by Endlessly (edited 01-25-2000).]

 

[Rodrigo]

You had the steps in the wrong order.

Step One: Bring beer.
Step Two: Drink said beer
Step three: Get naked.

ALL GUYS ARE LIKE THAT.

Besides, your cute. Willing, virgin, tall, 36D, jailbait...what's not to like.

 

[Endlessly]

*laughing* Hmmm, Rodrigo.. The drinking age IS only 18 in Canada.. Too bad I don't drink.

 

[Golden]

been to your site; even though the fringe, sorry bangs, arn't my thing, you still look good enough to eat.

but hey, relax a little, no, relax a LOT. chemistry is where it is at; all the signs seem to be he's taking an interest, so don't have a makeover - physical or behavioural - you could throw away what he most desires in you. And stop worrying about the size of your legs and tits. I have been attracted to and had wonderful sex with dark, blonde and red-heads, tall and short, large but usually small breasted, slim and not so, shaven and tufty ...

about the only common theme has been:

1 the woman in question has to be attracted to me
2. thank god when I got beyond the point of no return I didn't encounter the horrible reek of a vaginal deodorant!


so go on, be yourself, and let it happen.

ands let's havce a blow by blow (sic) report afterwards! Seems like this is a communal effort, you giving away your virginity on behalf of the whole discussion group!

 

[Endlessly]

*laughing* Thanks, Golden.. And don't worry. When I get back from Spring break, March 13th.. Be expecting a long BB post. Or a story. *wink*

 

[Unclebill]

Endlessly, you a bright, talented, attractive and sexually desirous and desirable young woman (I've seen your web page). Much the same advice; relax and be yourself. Apparently he already has an interest in your physically so the rest should be easy from your perspective.

RELAX! RELAX! RELAX! Then whenver possible without being too blatant, stay close to him. Touching casually (but with intent) can elicit the reactions you're wanting to get and communicate veiled promises of what you want. In public, keep it as subtle as possible unless he's really into PDA. Find a convincing way to get invited to his room or ask him to yours to help with something (have it set up beforehand so it's not so obviously contrived). Since you're fairly bright, make it to share a passage from a book you find interesting, a poem that stirs you, etc., maybe even a story you're writing and elicit his opinion. Maybe even something so lame as you can't figure out the thermostat. You might have trouble selling that though since I think he already knows you're fairly bright.

Once you get him behind closed doors, the female in you should succeed in your quest quite handily. And behind closed doors you can be far less subtle!

Frankly, I envy the guy! Best of experiences since I'm sure you'll succeed. I know you would were I the lucky fella'!

 

[Guest]

Endlessly,
Don't quote me, but this is what I've discovered through personal experience.
The hips and thighs are the hardest places to lose inches. The best way to concentrate on your legs is via strength training. While cardio activities are great for the body, the results are somewhat difficult to direct.
If you have a gym nearby (there are usually at least a couple on college campuses) talk to a trainer about which machines to use, depending on what area you want to work on.
My personal lower body favorites are the inner/outer thigh machine and the leg press.
I don't know if you'll see a drastic improvement before your trip...(I forget when you said it was...) but the results you'll see in the long run will definately be worth it. Good luck!

 

[Xander]

Endlessly.
It doesn't take large amounts of alcohol to loosen up. Fun. Sure. But not neccesary.

Truthfully. Just close your eyes. Take a big breath. And just dive in.
Don't start to think too much about this and that. Let you emotions lead you and just do what they tell you to.
Shut out your surroundings and target your attention only to this lucky guy.
By the time you got him on a 1-0-1 basis. He wont be able to resist you.
I know it sounds awfully easy. But xp tells me thats the way to go.
Dive in like there was no tomorrow.

You gonna do just fine girl.
Go Endlessly!!!!!

 

[Endlessly]

*nodding at Katie, taking notes* Thanks sweetie, you're a lifesaver.. I KNEW there was a reason to take up soccer and tap a while ago. Incidentally, I'm on the no-carb diet thing.. Ladies, it works wonders, shedding pounds is wonderful if you don't mind the dizzy spells.

Basically, then.. I need to relax. I found out today he's considering getting his own hotel room (as opposed to sharing one with three other people) which is a GOOD thing.. I hope he does, it'll make MY job alot easier.

 

[Endlessly]

Phantom: "Endlessy, I never cease to be amazed at what a fantastic, witty, sexy young woman you are. I don't have to repeat all of the compiments you have received earlier in this thread other than to just say they are all very true"

Holy.. I'm blushing profusely.. *chuckle* I've never really been able to look at myself as a sexual entity (hence part of my problem with this whole seduction thing) and with everyone's kind words, I'm beginning to feel a little better about all of this. I just hope I continue to have the guts to do it.

"I wish you much success,happiness and many multiple orgasms in this adventure and do hope you will be able to share your success with us after your trip."

Feh. Don't tell me I have to start a NEW thread asking how the hell I become multi-orgasmic.. Stimulation hurts too much after just one with me.

Phantom\Dixie.. That wouldn't do any good.. Don't know if it'd do anything for my guy to see me getting all hot and bothered over two deliciously older men! *wink*

*laughing hysterically at Fallen* Damn.. If I knew there'd be a line, maybe I would have considered getting my cherry popped earlier..


And incidentally, people, this is far from the end of this thread.. I'm going to need TONS of advice in the coming weeks. I'm already pondering borrowing my friend's digital camera and getting some pictures taken in different outfits I'm considering so I can get opinions on what works and what doesn't. I'm afraid that not only is my wardrobe not very seductive, but I don't have the cash to get a new one. And I'm still waiting for the word from havoc and his wife about the dark-chocolate blowjob.

*laughing* This is probably going to be the most well-planned, most collaborative seduction that ever took place.

 

[Deborah]

Endlessly, you poor baby! I dunno who is more neurotic, you or Butterfly. But you got good reason. Ah, virginity, what a cross to bear, or is that bare? Hmmm. How can a very bright, witty, sensual young woman get laid? Tough question. This HVS (Horny Virgin Syndrome) you are afflicted with definitely calls for the direct approach me thinks. No time to beat around the bush. Get right in it.

Hey Girl, you asked for my advice, so here goes ... And keep in mind I'm only one pervert here in a whole bunch of bananas.

I flipped on the TV this morning when I woke up. Just happened to be the movie Deconstructing Harry that was on. Woody Allen is saying he still likes whores. Don't need all the small talk and preliminaries. What I'm saying here is get right to the fucking point with this dude. It's not being trashy. Call it bold, assertive, whatever. Call it strategic planning. You have an objective - get this guy to pop your cherry. So get right to it.

In his own "what a dog" way, Rodrigo was right with his "ALL GUYS ARE LIKE THAT." BTW, where you been Rodrigo? Playing "hide the bone" with Zeke again?

Endlessly, I have this theory. 99% of every guy's thoughts somehow involve having his cock sucked. No matter what they tell you how much they like to eat pussy and how they love every part of a woman's body, blah, blah, blah, what they really want is warm wet lips on their dick. Even when they are spanking the monkey and choking the chicken they wish it was ... Now, do you really really expect me to believe a guy would rather cum in his hand than between two warm wet lips? As if!!!

You did say on that Sex and Food thread "it's been too long since I've given a guy a blowjob." Every time you see this guy whisper in his ear you want to suck his cock. While the other girls are playing their little flirting games, he'll be thinking about, well, you know.

So you give this dude one great blowjob and he'll be so grateful he'll do you any way you want. Now, when you have him in your mouth and he is not about to argue about anything, you have two choices: 1) Finish him off but don't let him cum in your mouth until he promises to fuck you later; 2) Put him some place warm and wet besides your mouth before he even knows what's happening.

Endlessly, if you don't like this idea here's another one. Tell the dude you are dying and hope for a pity fuck. Look here, Girl, I think you are too cool and I simply can not imagine any guy who would not want to spend some quality fucking time with you. If this thing doesn't work out tight, 'er I mean right, you can always do an essay contest "Why I Want to Pop Endlessly's Cherry" and post it to this BB. The dudes get to tell in 25 words or less why they should be the one. I volunteer to help you judge the entries.

Hope you get lucky Girl!!!

 

[Endlessly]

*nodding, laughing* That is seriously great advice, Deborah.. Can't thank you enough.

Okay. Looking at this as a come-from-all-sides strategy (As opposed to a cum-from-all-sides strategy, since I'm not looking for an orgy-- yet), tell me how this sounds, you guys. I already asked him to help me choose what to get with that gift certificate, since he's one of the kinkier people I've met and knows much about toys (whereas I use a bic, y'know?).. So I drop hints for the rest of the month that I'll be bringing whatever I buy to Edmonton so he can help me break it in. Which ought to do SOMEthing for the boy, since he's so horny he can't even sleep in the nude without his own naked body turning him on.

First day we're there, I wear the outfit he loves, and whisper in his ear how much I'd love to suck his cock whenever I get the chance.. And if he ends up getting his own hotel room, and worse comes to worse, I'll see if I can't fulfill one of HIS fantasies and wake him up in the middle of the night with a blowjob.

And I'm going to Wal-Mart ASAP.. Hoping they have Magic way out here in the wilderness.

Sorry, you guys.. I'm not usually this anal-retentive about sex.. Anal's not my thing.. Heh..

Okay. Another question, since I'm dumb (I turn in a true story and Laurel writes that it's about a naive college girl! *blushes* I'm NEVER going to be a kinky little slut at this rate, am I? *wry smile*) when it comes to sex.. Other than large amounts of alcohol (and that's something I'd try on my guy, but he only drinks imported european which is too damned expensive), what's a good way to get me to just loosen the fuck up about this whole thing?

 

[PHANTOM5875]

Endlessy, I never cease to be amazed at what a fantastic, witty, sexy young woman you are. I don't have to repeat all of the compiments you have received earlier in this thread other than to just say they are all very true!

I think Deborah's has given you the recipe for success. We already know from your previous postings that your young man IS attracted to you (and you ARE a very lovely young lady. I have seen your pics on your web site). All you have to do is to whisper in his ear as suggested earlier what you are going to do to him and once you have his cock in your loving mouth, he will be putty in your hands and I know he will give you that special experience you so desire.

I wish you much success,happiness and many multiple orgasms in this adventure and do hope you will be able to share your success with us after your trip.

Good luck sweetie!

PHANTOM

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

"Oh, and Dixon..he hates talking about himself... So if you don't talk about him, and you don't talk about yourself, what do you talk about?"

Me.

 

[PHANTOM5875]

<Oh, and Dixon..he hates talking about himself... So if you don't talk about him, and you don't talk about yourself, what do you talk about?"
Me.>

No, no, Dixie

She should talk about sexy middle aged Phantoms! That would get her young man motivated to ravage our Endlessly!

PHANTOM

 

[Fallen Angel]

What? Has the contest for who gets Endlessly's cherry already started? Can I change who I want in my bed from Laurel to Endlessly? Dang with DCL in this the best I can hope for is to get to watch.

Relax girl you'll do fine. Most of us were neverous as hell the first time.

 

[Golden]

thing I can't figure, endlessly, is how your cherry stayed unpopped this long - you've been lusting after Mr X, blow jobbing one or more guys already if I follow the trail of clues correctly, and generally hanging around campus looking gorgeous for how long? And there isn't a queue of guys waiting to do you the favour?

Seems to me unless the guy is gay or training for a monk, no way he is going to pass up the chance.

Just wondering why you have to wait till March? Unless you have some deal with Laurel whereby you are going to create the biggest thread EVER ... and want another 6 weeks clear at it!



[This message has been edited by golden (edited 01-26-2000).]

 

[Golden]

'nother word of advice.

From a woman. Given to a mixed audience on Saturday - she was our speaker "on behalf of the lassies" at the Burns Night Supper.

"...remember that while God gave man both a penis and a brain, he only gave him enough blood to operate them one at a time"

So don't over-think this one, endlessly, 'cos he won't! Just get on with it girl!

<grin>

[This message has been edited by golden (edited 01-26-2000).]

 

[Golden]

Endlessly I've been following this thread with interest 'cos your a bright and sexy girl and you deserve the best.

suddenly remembered an incident from 1974 - yep I'm that old!

My girlfriend came to me with a strange proposition. One of her best friends at school had got to 18 and was obsessed by being still a virgin, and had the hots for real for a particular guy, and was very nervous about the whole prospect.

Er, sound familar?

My girlfriend said she and this girl and two others had all been talking about this predicament at school. One of the OTHER girls said what she needed was a [help, not "head-start" or "helping hand" ... shit why can't I find a non innuendo when I need one) well, she needed help.

It was therefore agreed by the group that one of the others should offer up her own boyfriend to do the honours!

The task was - take the girl to bed, show her round the male body (but I think you've done this bit) and then pop the cherry gently for her.

So that she could then seduce man of her dreams without worrying if she'd be all fingers and thumbs, bleed everywhere, be too sore to enjoy it, etc.!

Well, guess who was voted in for the job. My girlfriend must have given me a good reference,

An evening was set aside, and we were left to it. It was strange really, - I never particularly fancied the girl - but the friend in my trousers did his bit, being shown off, doing his full range of tricks and then popping the cherry.

My only regret was - had I been older and a better negotiator, I'd have insisted on at least my girlfriend being also present to make a real evening of it!

Anyway, I have to say I considered it then (and do still) a great honour to have been asked.

And the girlfriend in question obviously recommended me seriously - she's now my wife!


[This message has been edited by golden (edited 01-26-2000).]