How do I seduce my boyfriend?

[Needssome]

Okay...The fact of the matter is it would seem I have a much stronger sex drive than my bf. I feel like I've tried everything. It's bad enough I'm trying to deal with the fact that he's the type of guy where once he's in the middle of something he'll have to finish before moving on. I've finally stopped trying to get him to stop a video in the middle and have some fun with me. I tried bjs and getting naked beside and nothing. I've even tried meeting him at the door naked and he told me to go get dressed because we're going out for dinner. Our relationship isn't sexless, but just not enough for me. What can I do? I've tried sending his phone random messages like: "I think you're sexy/hot"..."I love you *kiss*" or even "I'd really like to fuck you right now". I've talked to him online and tried describing what I'd really like to do to him and basically all I've gotten is a "uh huh...sorry I'm trying to clean my room so I'm not paying really close attention." I'm getting emotionally and sexually frustrated! Is there anything I can do to get him interested?

 

[Stout chap]

Something seems amiss here. How often do you have it and when? He might well be anxious about something. My girlfriend can talk me into bed with wicked whispers, but it seems like he doesn't want to know. Hmm! I'm stumped!

 

[watergirl]

Needsome - my ex was like that. I don't understand.

It sucks to feel unwanted and unsexy and rejected. Occassionally, it was great between us - but not often enough for me.

He almost never initiated things, and so I used to... to the point that he accused me of being too aggressive. Lots of no fun.

Good luck. Try getting him to talk about. Point blank questions, so you can make a decision on whether or not things can improve between you, are my advice.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Dump him...he seems like a waste of space.

 

[Ange1icflowers]

Been There....Done that

I have a MUCH more active sex drive than most me. It seems to be a curse. When my Honey isn't in the mood....i just keep pursuing. I kiss him right behind the ear....gently touch "Sensitive" areas...ever so lightly so it could almost seem like a mistake....but he can feel it....and if all else fails....strip down. that ALWAYS gets a guy goin!


Good luck


Oh...and when all that fails....Your good friend "Mr. VIbe" never deflates


Angel

 

[Needssome]

Hey all...thanks for the advice. We have sex maybe once or twice a week on a regular basis. More often when my roommate is out of town. Besides my desire for more sex than him things are really great. He treats me really well, is always willing to help me out with driving me places (I HATE driving), and is always very kind and considerate in bed and is basically my best friend. Initially in our relationship (so about a year ago) he was really nervous about sex because he'd had next to no experience and I'd had a lot more. After I convinced him that all he needed was practice (and plenty of it) he got a lot more relaxed and things are fine that way. I've talked to him about this...and he knows I want him to be more into it, but he's really busy with school and work, was sex comes last. But I agree, it sucks to feel like I'm not sexy and really desired at times. It's especially bad when I have an ex who tries to get back together with me saying it was a mistake to break up with me and we could have such good sex again. (Apparently his last gfs either wouldn't have sex outside of marriage or just laid there) I've got guys telling me how good the sex we could have would be but I love the one I've got. It's just really hard when I'm in the mood and he's not and I know I could very easily find it elsewhere (which I won't do as long as I'm with him)

 

[Stout chap]

I'd say he's anxious then. I reckon he's worried he might not be able to satisfy you or something. That's what happened to me with my first girlfriend (whom I am still with after eight years!). We were both virgins when we go together though. She wanted to have sex quite often but I was very worried that I wasn't satisfying her and mortified that she wasn't orgasming as much as I thought she should be! Once my gf reassured me that sex isn't all about the orgasm I was all right: the other stuff was just as important. Of course now I can make her orgasm every time hee hee. I'd still say he's anxious.

 

[ExtacyCouple]

He might be gay....drives you places, is your best friend, considerate. Doesn't sound like a straight guy to me......

 

[watergirl]

Once or twice a week? Yeah, that's not as often as I'd like, but it's more often than I got with the ex I spoke of! I was lucky to get once or twice a month, honey.... I dont' think you have too much to worry about, if he is as busy with work & stuff as you said.. Enjoy him!

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[Needssome]

Thanks again for the great advice. And no he's definitely not gay...there are 10 gigs of porn on his hd and none of it is gay porn. I know he's not rejecting me but just isn't in the mood for sex, it's just hard to feel that way after the crappy treatment I've received from men in general in the past. I never thought I'd have this problem after we met on Adult Friend Finder...All either of us was looking for was sex...or so I thought. I guess I just have to keep hoping that one of these days I'll hit the right button to turn him on no matter what!

 

[ExtacyCouple]

Ok, I was just joking about the gay comment. A couple of questions to ask......When you first met, what was his sex drive? If it was like it is now you shouldn't be surprised. Do you think it is possible that you are being unrealistic with your expectation without realizing it? I know twice a week doesn't sound like much but if you have busy schedules and a lot going on it may actually be a lot. When you do have it is it good? For me, when we are on oppisite schedules and life is crazy and we can't have sex as often as we like, I go for Quality not Quantity. If I am tired as hell but am really horny sometimes I will still opt not to have sex because I probably wouldn't be able to make it as good for her as I would like.

Bottom line is if it is really bugging you now it will probably only get worse. As relationships go on sex usually goes down. Now smart couple maike an effort to always keep that spark alive but it might be a good sign that if you can't get on the same page now in a year or two down the road you definatly won't be.

I am sure their are lot's of guys out their that would drive you around in exchange for good sex.

Lastly, you are the only one who knows the what you are feeling and it is really easy to give advice to someone you have never met and know nothing about so make you decisions based on what feels right to you not faceless people on the internet. Just use our thought to provoke your own..

 

[Needssome]

Now I know you were kidding about the gay comment...But seriously, it's hard to really compare the beginning of the relationship to right now. At the beginning he was really nervous because he wasn't sure of anything. Later, he was working doing hard labour sometime up to 70 hours a week. Now, he doesn't work nearly as much and he has school as well but I work and go to school as well. We've spending a lot of time together lately at his place where he lives with his family so doing anything is difficult. But my biggest problem besides the fact I'd like more sex is that I can't seem to distract him from what he's doing. If he's watching a movie, we have to wait until the end - none of this making out and not seeing any of the movie. I want to figure out a way to make him pay attention to me. It hasn't happened a lot lately where I'm incredibly horny, I just want to know that I can do something to get him to stop cleaning his room. If I can't get him to stop concentrating on something that he doesn't like doing then I guess it would seem my seducing skills need some help. He assures me that he finds me attractive and that he likes the fact I'm a "raging nympho" but he's just very focused. I just want to learn how to turn his focus and I'm running out of ideas.

 

[ExtacyCouple]

One last thought....You are trying to hard. Stop what you are doing, show no interest in sex and he will be begging for it. Turn him down once or twice and you will have a mad man on your hands.

You said it yourselfk, he likes the fact that you are a "raging nympho". That gives him the abilty to have sex when it is convienient for him. He knows you will want it whenever. Take that away and you will have total control.

 

[bharman4102]

You mean that tongue trick you do doesn't work either? Man, he has will power!

Like a lot of things, he may be working too hard right now, or sorting through some personal issues...maybe totally unrelated to you. Guys really aren't the best at telling our gfs what's on our minds...or so I've been told. The question is how do you feel about him? If you love him, and he's the one, masturbation might be enough for those dry spells. If you're not sure how you feel about him, it sounds like you might need to do some thinking yourself. And if you want to offer some more details on what its like to be a nympho...well, you can private message me anytime!

 

[RoughPlay]

Have you asked your bf about the things he likes to do the most.
What he would most like you to wear, do, have done to you, etc.
He's the only person who can tell you, no one else can. He's more
likely to be interested if the type of sex you do together is his
absolute favourite(s).

However a woman constantly pushing herself on a man for sex when
he's not very interested can be a BIG turn off for a man. If you
continue he might become less interested in sex, get irritated and
even aggressive.

If you ask him what his main likes are now he might fear it will
lead to even more sexual pressure so he might be evasive in his
replies and he might even lie to you. On the other hand he might
tell you the truth about something he has been dying to try but
was too afraid to ask for incase it freaked you out. I think you
should ask about the things he likes most but try to do it softly
softly.

Alternatively how about him masturbating you, using toys on you or
doing cunniligus on you. Perhaps not every night but at least some
of the other nights during the week when you don't have sex. If he
cares about you then that's a reasonable thing for you to ask for.

 

[SnoManX]

Good advice ExtacyCouple.

It's human nature to want something more the harder it is to get....so quit bugging him and soon he'll be bugging you. I know, because I was alot like your BF but I found out the hard way - my GF just dumped me because she wasn't getting enough.
Now I wish I hadn't taken it for granted!!

 

[DTB1954]

Hey all...thanks for the advice. We have sex maybe once or twice a week on a regular basis. More often when my roommate is out of town. Besides my desire for more sex than him things are really great. He treats me really well, is always willing to help me out with driving me places (I HATE driving), and is always very kind and considerate in bed and is basically my best friend. Initially in our relationship (so about a year ago) he was really nervous about sex because he'd had next to no experience and I'd had a lot more. After I convinced him that all he needed was practice (and plenty of it) he got a lot more relaxed and things are fine that way. I've talked to him about this...and he knows I want him to be more into it, but he's really busy with school and work, was sex comes last. But I agree, it sucks to feel like I'm not sexy and really desired at times. It's especially bad when I have an ex who tries to get back together with me saying it was a mistake to break up with me and we could have such good sex again. (Apparently his last gfs either wouldn't have sex outside of marriage or just laid there) I've got guys telling me how good the sex we could have would be but I love the one I've got. It's just really hard when I'm in the mood and he's not and I know I could very easily find it elsewhere (which I won't do as long as I'm with him)

Take him to school and you are the teacher. But also let him know that there will be a lot of homework. Seriously let him know that this effects you and you want to teach him.

 

[Needssome]

Thanks yet again all. Let me clarify, this isn't an all the time thing or at least not anymore. It's just every now and again I reallllllly want some and I don't want to have to wait until I can be fit into his schedule. I'm looking for some sure fire way to turn him on and have him coming running over to my place (he lives at home with his family, so not the most romantic place in the world). I've tried asking him if there's anything he wants. Offering to work on my deep throating technique since I'm still having trouble with that, and even asking him what type of lingerie he'd like to see me in and if he didn't know to check out the Victoria Secret website out and picking a few things he'd like to see on me. I guess I just want him to want me with a passion that he can't contain. Kissing softly, cuddling and making love is all good...but ya gotta have sex every once and a while! He's focused and can't seem to get off track once he's on it. And yes, before I get anymore requests to "talk to him about it", I've done that. I've explained to him what I'd like and more. As for always being ready and available, most of the time I am but fact of the matter is I've had some "female problems" that come and go that make sex really painful for a week or so (and yes I've seen several doctors and nobody can figure out what's wrong with me) and when I'm feeling alright I want as much as I can get because I never know when that will end. I guess I'm just too demanding.

 

[watergirl]

Heya -

Well... Given all that, the only thing I can say, is try the opposite! Be less available, be a tease... Men are freaks, I gotta say...

Good luck!

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Thanks yet again all. Let me clarify, this isn't an all the time thing or at least not anymore. It's just every now and again I reallllllly want some and I don't want to have to wait until I can be fit into his schedule. I'm looking for some sure fire way to turn him on and have him coming running over to my place (he lives at home with his family, so not the most romantic place in the world). I've tried asking him if there's anything he wants. Offering to work on my deep throating technique since I'm still having trouble with that, and even asking him what type of lingerie he'd like to see me in and if he didn't know to check out the Victoria Secret website out and picking a few things he'd like to see on me. I guess I just want him to want me with a passion that he can't contain. Kissing softly, cuddling and making love is all good...but ya gotta have sex every once and a while! He's focused and can't seem to get off track once he's on it. And yes, before I get anymore requests to "talk to him about it", I've done that. I've explained to him what I'd like and more. As for always being ready and available, most of the time I am but fact of the matter is I've had some "female problems" that come and go that make sex really painful for a week or so (and yes I've seen several doctors and nobody can figure out what's wrong with me) and when I'm feeling alright I want as much as I can get because I never know when that will end. I guess I'm just too demanding.

Ummmm...I know I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off you. This is so far outside of anything I can comprehend, all I can think to say is "good luck!"

 

[kikmosa]

He's focused and can't seem to get off track once he's on it.

Is it possible, the way you say he focuses on one thing to the exclusion of other things, could he have a very mild form of a compulsive behavior disorder? I've been told that I do to a certain extent. It's not enough to rule my life or even be noticable, but it is there.
You say he won't stop a movie when it's in the middle. For me it's books. If I start one I have to finish it without stopping. Things have to be in even numbers or trys or I go nuts. I have to force myself to do things in an uneven manner. Like eating a sandwich. It has to be done in four rows with four bites per row. I have to force myself to take a big bite to stop that and it sometimes bothers me so much that I get sick from eating it. I count things all the time.
Sometimes people do things like this because it's the way their mind works. It may not be something he can help. It's possible that I'm wrong and he's just very focused but it is something to think about.

 

[RoughPlay]

I've tried asking him if there's anything he wants.
even asking him what type of lingerie he'd like to see me in

I'm impressed you've done this. I wish all women were as direct as this.

What sort of an answer did your boyfriend give ?

> I guess I just want him to want me with a passion that he can't contain.
> Kissing softly, cuddling and making love is all good...but ya gotta have
> sex every once and a while!

I presume you mean you need to be ravished every once and a while!
You might have the wrong boyfriend (sorry). Some men are nice and gentle
others are passionate and forceful. Sounds like your boyfriend is the
former which is not surprising considering his "next to no experience".
Actually he sounds a bit like me when I was younger.

On the whole it sounds like you are too much for him which is not
surprising considering your respective sex drives and former experience.
I think the not being interrupted stuff is just his way of keeping you at
bay. He can't cope with you being all over him all the time.

I definitely think you need to back off and be patient. The sex needs to
be at the rate he wants not at a rate that is too much for him. I think
you should provide regular gentle encouragement but no pressure. I disagree
with the suggestion to turn him down once or twice. For a man who lacks
confidence and is insecure that could kill his interest altogether.

If you are willing to wait a year or two he might gain sufficient experience
and confidence to give you a good fucking every night. Or there again maybe
he never will.

 

[Needssome]

Okay, part of the problem is that we do live in separate places with other people. He lives with his mom, uncle, and grandfather. His uncle will come into his room unannounced - no knocking, nothing. On my end, I have a roommate who as far as I know has never had a date, never had a guy over, and is deeply involved in a Christian Fellowship group so we try to avoid doing anything when she's home to prevent her from feeling uncomfortable (I like to make at least noise!).

I have given it a year, and I realllllly don't think it has anything to do with his confidence level. There have been a couple of times where he has ravished me and I've told him how much I enjoy it (gotta give that positive reinforcement!!!). Whenever we're completely alone together and I try stuff, he usually goes for it. I'm just hoping to re-find the buttons I pushed to make him not care who was in his house and just bend me over...and well you know . They're hiding there somewhere.....

 

[RoughPlay]

His uncle will come into his room unannounced - no knocking, nothing.

Many years ago when I was still living with my parents my mum or
my dad came into my room several times and almost caught me masturbating.
I had to throw the magazines under the quilt on the bed and then jump in
after them, naked of course, in under 2 seconds. Talk about EMBARRASSING.

How about putting a bolt on the inside of your boyfriend's room so that
no one can come in while he's ravishing you.


> deeply involved in a Christian Fellowship group

Yikes, scary. That would probably put me off.

Do you ever ask her to be somewhere else for an hour or so ?
Is she happy to co-operate ?


> I've told him how much I enjoy it (gotta give that positive
> reinforcement!!!).

Definitely. We all need to be appreciated.


> and just bend me over...and well you know

Well that thought certainly pushes my button!


Incidentally, what the hell are you doing with your tongue!
Is that some sort of pre-blow job warm up exercise ?