every_mothers_lover
Really Experienced
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i am just wondering from as many different people,
HOW can you tell that a woman is either a SUB, or DOM.
HOW can you tell that a woman is either a SUB, or DOM.
How do i know...
- Thread starter every_mothers_lover
- Start date
MissTaken
Biker Chick
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If you think they are involved in BDSM then you should simply ask.
There are no tattoos, no personality traits that are consistent across the board with either "role" and no secret codes.
Many submissive men and women are very assertive and powerful in their presence in their day to day lives. So, it could be an embarrassing mistake to try to guess.
Best of luck,
MissT
There are no tattoos, no personality traits that are consistent across the board with either "role" and no secret codes.
Many submissive men and women are very assertive and powerful in their presence in their day to day lives. So, it could be an embarrassing mistake to try to guess.
Best of luck,
MissT
alonelygal
Literotica Guru
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Last edited:
Limbhugger
Team Slut Towel Boy
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Try this...
In the midst of sex, pinch her nipple really hard and call her a slut.
If she flips her ass in the air in offering she's a sub.
If she knees you in the balls and flips your ass in the air she's a domme.
If she says "Ow, that fucking hurt they aren't radio dials and what the hell did you call me?" She's likely neither.
KIDDING GIRLS. Just kidding!!!
In the midst of sex, pinch her nipple really hard and call her a slut.
If she flips her ass in the air in offering she's a sub.
If she knees you in the balls and flips your ass in the air she's a domme.
If she says "Ow, that fucking hurt they aren't radio dials and what the hell did you call me?" She's likely neither.
KIDDING GIRLS. Just kidding!!!
lilnymph28
user friendly
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Limbhugger said:Try this...
In the midst of sex, pinch her nipple really hard and call her a slut.
If she flips her ass in the air in offering she's a sub.
If she knees you in the balls and flips your ass in the air she's a domme.
If she says "Ow, that fucking hurt they aren't radio dials and what the hell did you call me?" She's likely neither.
KIDDING GIRLS. Just kidding!!!
ROFL... that's not quite how I figured out what I am
*tongue in cheek*
kitty4ever
Insert title here
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Limbhugger said:Try this...
In the midst of sex, pinch her nipple really hard and call her a slut.
If she flips her ass in the air in offering she's a sub.
If she knees you in the balls and flips your ass in the air she's a domme.
If she says "Ow, that fucking hurt they aren't radio dials and what the hell did you call me?" She's likely neither.
KIDDING GIRLS. Just kidding!!!
<chuckles> You mean that wouldn't work?
kitty4ever
Insert title here
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every_mothers_lover said:
To answer your original question, you can't without either asking them directly, or them volunteering the information. I finally opened up to a very close friend of mine, someone who I consider a younger brother. He comes to me for advice a lot of the time.
The word to describe him was shocked. He honestly never guessed, and revealed to me he was a switch. Sex had never really entered our conversation ever, so that area of our lives were never shared. He only saw the 'me' that was outside of my submission and submissive nature.
I revealed it to him, a) because he's thinking of joining the Lit boards and b) because I had to explain just how badly and empty I am right now from being hurt. He does understand, now.
So, if there is someone you're curious about, and the conversatoin ever leads that direction, you should ask, not assuming.
Good luck to you.
shy slave
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Limb Hugger
Thats one way to find out lolol.
I agree there is no 'instant' way to tell.
My mother has only just discovered my interest and was shocked and dumbfounded...not about the D/ but about my 'need' to be a sub.
She thought it would be a brave man who would try to figure it out,
Day-to-day i am pretty assertive and take no prisoners she thought it would be difficult to tell what I was interested in
shy slave
ps In Malta soaking up the sun
Thats one way to find out lolol.
I agree there is no 'instant' way to tell.
My mother has only just discovered my interest and was shocked and dumbfounded...not about the D/ but about my 'need' to be a sub.
She thought it would be a brave man who would try to figure it out,
Day-to-day i am pretty assertive and take no prisoners she thought it would be difficult to tell what I was interested in
shy slave
ps In Malta soaking up the sun
s'lara
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This is what i was talking about in regard to the "Old Guard" gay leather society rules. The regs are primarily in regard to the 1970's codes of fashion or signaling others in terms of your preference or where you stood in relation to the "scene."
http://www.io.com/~ambrosio/manners/oldguard.html
"So what exactly were the (unspoken) "Old Guard' rules? Here are a few of the more important ones that had prevailed by 1970:
About Attire
Always wear boots, butch ones, and preferably black.
Always wear a wide black leather belt plain, not fancy.
Never mix brown leather with black leather.
Never mix chrome or silver trim with gold or brass trim.
Long pants only, Levi's or leather, and no shorts.
Chaps indicate more commitment than Levi's, and leather pants more commitment than chaps, especially when worn consistently.
Leather Jackets must have epaulets (bike riders excepted).
Head gear is reserved for Tops or experienced or heavy bottoms only.
Bottoms may not own collars unless a particular Top has allowed that bottom to be the custodian of the Top's collar. A bottom wearing a collar is a slave, and belongs to the owner of the collar who, presumably, has the keys. Other Tops are not to engage a collared bottom in conversation, but other bottoms may do so. Should such a relationship end, the collar must be returned to the Top.
Never touch the bill of a bike cap, including your own.
Never touch another man's cap (or head gear) unless you are very intimate friends or lovers.
Keep studs and other decorations to a tasteful minimum unless they happen to be club insignia.
Never wear another man's leather unless he puts it on you.
Leather, other than boots and belt, must be 'earned' through the achievement of successively challenging 'scenes.'
Wearing gloves is reserved for heavy players, glove fetishists or bike riders.
Always indicate SM preference, only with keys left or right.
If you are cruising seriously, wear the keys out; if not seriously, tuck them in a back pocket.
Always indicate strictly leather sex or 'rough sex' interest by wearing no keys at all.
_________________________________________________
Then there's the "hanky code" that i found so fascinating.
http://www.io.com/~ambrosio/manners/hankcode.html
Black hanky worn on left=Heavy S&M Top
Black hanky worn on right=Heavy S&M bottom
Simple yet effective way to tell what someone is into no? Unfortunately, lots of people don't advertise their preferences in this way. So attempting to "read" whether someone is Dom or sub is likely not the best way to find an answer. Ask if you are comfortable enough to approach that person with such an intimate question.
lara
http://www.io.com/~ambrosio/manners/oldguard.html
"So what exactly were the (unspoken) "Old Guard' rules? Here are a few of the more important ones that had prevailed by 1970:
About Attire
Always wear boots, butch ones, and preferably black.
Always wear a wide black leather belt plain, not fancy.
Never mix brown leather with black leather.
Never mix chrome or silver trim with gold or brass trim.
Long pants only, Levi's or leather, and no shorts.
Chaps indicate more commitment than Levi's, and leather pants more commitment than chaps, especially when worn consistently.
Leather Jackets must have epaulets (bike riders excepted).
Head gear is reserved for Tops or experienced or heavy bottoms only.
Bottoms may not own collars unless a particular Top has allowed that bottom to be the custodian of the Top's collar. A bottom wearing a collar is a slave, and belongs to the owner of the collar who, presumably, has the keys. Other Tops are not to engage a collared bottom in conversation, but other bottoms may do so. Should such a relationship end, the collar must be returned to the Top.
Never touch the bill of a bike cap, including your own.
Never touch another man's cap (or head gear) unless you are very intimate friends or lovers.
Keep studs and other decorations to a tasteful minimum unless they happen to be club insignia.
Never wear another man's leather unless he puts it on you.
Leather, other than boots and belt, must be 'earned' through the achievement of successively challenging 'scenes.'
Wearing gloves is reserved for heavy players, glove fetishists or bike riders.
Always indicate SM preference, only with keys left or right.
If you are cruising seriously, wear the keys out; if not seriously, tuck them in a back pocket.
Always indicate strictly leather sex or 'rough sex' interest by wearing no keys at all.
_________________________________________________
Then there's the "hanky code" that i found so fascinating.
http://www.io.com/~ambrosio/manners/hankcode.html
Black hanky worn on left=Heavy S&M Top
Black hanky worn on right=Heavy S&M bottom
Simple yet effective way to tell what someone is into no? Unfortunately, lots of people don't advertise their preferences in this way. So attempting to "read" whether someone is Dom or sub is likely not the best way to find an answer. Ask if you are comfortable enough to approach that person with such an intimate question.
lara
Netzach
>semiotics?
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That's gay men in the 70's in, probably from the sounds of it NYC specifically, or somewhere right coast.
<-- shitty protocol in action
Most of those people also had jobs and identities to protect, as much as if not more so than many contemporary leather people, and would not be flagging walking down the midtown street, probably.
<-- shitty protocol in action
Most of those people also had jobs and identities to protect, as much as if not more so than many contemporary leather people, and would not be flagging walking down the midtown street, probably.
Esclava
10 Locks-Do U have keys?
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Limbhugger said:Try this...
In the midst of sex, pinch her nipple really hard and call her a slut.
If she flips her ass in the air in offering she's a sub.
If she knees you in the balls and flips your ass in the air she's a domme.
If she says "Ow, that fucking hurt they aren't radio dials and what the hell did you call me?" She's likely neither.
KIDDING GIRLS. Just kidding!!!
LMSAOOOOOOOO...ok, I finally picked myself up off the floor!
But I have to echo the sentiment that there is no easy way to ascertain other than ask. Personally, I feel if someone will ask a direct question - i.e. one that can only be answered "yes" or "no" - they deserve a direct answer. That doesn't mean that in a conversation about gay sexuality, they ask me, "Are you?" You can probably imagine the questions I ask back. If they ask, "Are you gay?" - I'll say no.
So, ask a direct question of exactly what you want to know - in such a way that it can only be answered "yes" or "no" - and you will probably get a direct answer with room for discussion, if you're lucky! Good luck!
Esclava
