How do I know if she is bi...????

[24bigirly]

Ok,
This thread is intended for female responses but I more than welcome you men that have incredible gaydar to respond also!

My instinct to be able to tell if another woman is gay or bi sucks!

My question is 2 fold...
First, are there any tell-tale signs a woman might be bi or gay other than the "butch" look?
Secondly, what is the best approach to "feeling" a woman out about her sexuality and if she is attracted to other women aside from the outright question?

I know some of you will not want to give up your secrets, but please help me with this. I recently talked to one bisexual woman who told me she will simply start a conversation with another woman. After a couple minutes of talking she will ask the other woman, "would you find me sexually attractive if you were a man?" Obviously, most of us women, to boost each other's egos, would respond yes. She would then go on to ask the woman if she has ever found other women attractive. Well, what women hasn't found another woman attractive? She'd wrap it up by asking the woman "if you could experience something special tonight, would you?" I'd fall for it.......LOL!
My point is, a situation like could give you a feeling of whether or not a woman would consider the bi experience.

Any other pointers or answers to my questions?

Again, I would love to hear from men on this also.

 

[Dumpling]

Geesh, do you have to look Butch to be Bi

 

[Betticus]

Geesh, do you have to look Butch to be Bi

Most girls I know are bi to some extent. The secret to finding out........ OMG... I just totally fell in lust with your boobs.

I'm fucking done! They are stunning.

 

[24bigirly]

hey....

dumpling.....i wasn't saying you have to be butch to be bi. I was simply saying that sometimes that seems like the only way for me to tell. Like my gay friends tell me all the time, a well dressed nicely groomed man does not mean he's gay anymore. I am not one for stereotyping and I am simply looking for a way to meet more bi women.

Bett....thanks for your reply. I agree with you on both of your points. First, I think most women are bi in some way. It is finding out if they would indulge on their bi desires that is puzzling. Secondly, Dumplings breasts are beautiful, fantastic pic by her and observation by you.

 

[Clairebutterfly]

I honestly don't know. It's something I'm wondering myself, so I'll be keeping a close eye on this thread

 

[Dumpling]

Most girls I know are bi to some extent. The secret to finding out........ OMG... I just totally fell in lust with your boobs.

I'm fucking done! They are stunning.

So what are ya gonna do about it? lick em

 

[Dumpling]

dumpling.....i wasn't saying you have to be butch to be bi. I was simply saying that sometimes that seems like the only way for me to tell. Like my gay friends tell me all the time, a well dressed nicely groomed man does not mean he's gay anymore. I am not one for stereotyping and I am simply looking for a way to meet more bi women.

Bett....thanks for your reply. I agree with you on both of your points. First, I think most women are bi in some way. It is finding out if they would indulge on their bi desires that is puzzling. Secondly, Dumplings breasts are beautiful, fantastic pic by her and observation by you.

I think I have to cum back when I got more Time ~~
Well as I see you got some answers allready,
it more or less what I was gonna tell you. ~If its a close Friend ask her if she still would be Friends if she knew you were Bi ~if you dont know the Person to well yet just say: would you be teribbly shocked if I told you I was Bi.~Yes its hard to tell otherwise if someone is Bi unless they give some kind of sign themselfs
Good Luck, but most of all ENJOY

 

[John Doe]

Forgive me if this is an incredibly naive and/or stupid suggestion, but how about asking?

 

[papa pelikan]

My instinct to be able to tell if another woman is gay or bi sucks!

Ok,
(This thread is intended for female responses but I more than welcome you men that have incredible My instinct to be able to tell if another woman is gay or bi sucks!
to respond also!
My instinct to be able to tell if another woman is gay or bi sucks!
My point is, a situation like could give you a feeling of whether or not a woman would consider the bi experience.)

Any other pointers or answers to my questions?

Again, I would love to hear from men on this also.

Here goes from a man who is deeply into MMF or MFF - In the fmf configuration it is usually fairly easy for the man to get some healthy competition going - always get one of them to start with the nipples of the other - that is where you ladies seem to be most at ease -
never urge mouth and tongue kissing - more resistance to that then a little labia nibble - so start her there then with just a flick - as dear M used to call it -

The taste for more is quickly aquired -
Of course dear child - these recommendations require the complicity of a male partner - one advantage of bi ww playfullness is that it gives the
M partner of both WW a chance to rest up after a double bout and be inspired and able to provide a second helping all around -

ps - if this is any help - perhaps you will explain what a gaydar is

 

[Mari J]

...aside from the outright question...

Why not ask the outright question? Is this someone at work? Would there be a harrassment issue?

I start by coming out to the person. I come out to everybody as I'm getting to know them anyway. Then she at least knows where I'm coming from, and the subject has been broached. It's easier to ask after that, and she might even tell you without being asked.

 

[CuriousNiceGuy]

Hmm..probably I'd go through a sexual conversation.And end up asking if he has ever thought of what it would be like with a man.It has a certain risk of your coming out to that person, even if he replies negatively as the most probable thing that will happen next is the question:"Have you?.."
It will raise a lot of suspicion about your orientation if the other doesn't know you're bi/homosexual.
But this would only work with an open-minded person.Cause some homophobic freaks would start flaming you and calling you names for harassing them..

Generally it's not something you can discuss without knowing the other person.Of course there's always the option to ask directly, but it has a certain 'awkwardness' factor in it.If you are out, just ask away.
Either they'll say yes, or no.

 

[24bigirly]

In response to the outright question.....

I appreciate all the feed back and I hope this is just the beginning, but I need to address a point. Does flat out asking someone if they are bi or lesbian seem akward to anyone else. A couple have said just ask! I don't know....just seems a little "off" to be that outright. Maybe I am just weird for thinking that?

As far as introducing myself as a bisexual....well, to me thats even more weird. "Hi, I'm Joni and I am a bisexual!"........Maybe I should have business cards made up......j/k!

Dumpling...Not a bad idea asking a woman who you have been talking to if she would be shocked to hear you were a bisexual. I like that....nice and easy!

Look forward to more replies........

 

[kbate]

Forgive me if this is an incredibly naive and/or stupid suggestion, but how about asking?

And cut the drama and agonizing short? For shame stupon! *shakes head*

 

[Pookie]

How do I find out? The same way I find out anything else about a person - talk to them. You don't always have to ask directly. It's amazing what people will reveal about themselves if you just listen. If I want to find out if someone is a switch hitter (pun intended), I try to talk about softball at some point.

 

[kbate]

How do I find out? The same way I find out anything else about a person - talk to them. You don't always have to ask directly. It's amazing what people will reveal about themselves if you just listen. If I want to find out if someone is a switch hitter (pun intended), I try to talk about softball at some point.

*sniffs pookie's butt*

nope not bi.

 

[John Doe]

And cut the drama and agonizing short? For shame stupon! *shakes head*

Told ya it was naive.

 

[Betticus]

So what are ya gonna do about it? lick em

I would love to but what about the rest of you. Can we at least have dinner and a nice evening out first?

Or I can just appreciate them from afar and be thankful that you posted them.

 

[snowy ciara]

pausing in stalking betticus to answer I find it incredibley awkward to ask just flat out too, but depending on the time and place I'll do it. I mean, the workplace is not an appropriate place to ask about someone's sexuality. Especially in today's litigious culture! But there are subtle clues. If she's a reader, like I quite frequently read over my lunch and stuff, try to see what she's reading. Reading material is a good pointer sometimes. If you happen to see their vehicle, look for the "usual" bumper stickers. My gaydar sucks too, btw.

 

[Pookie]

*sniffs pookie's butt*

nope not bi.

I've been cured! It's a miracle! Yay!!!

Keep sniffing though ... just to make sure. Sometimes it takes a while. No, I'm not enjoying this. I wasn't moaning ... I was just humming a hymn.

 

[Betticus]

pausing in stalking betticus to answer I find it incredibley awkward to ask just flat out too, but depending on the time and place I'll do it. I mean, the workplace is not an appropriate place to ask about someone's sexuality. Especially in today's litigious culture! But there are subtle clues. If she's a reader, like I quite frequently read over my lunch and stuff, try to see what she's reading. Reading material is a good pointer sometimes. If you happen to see their vehicle, look for the "usual" bumper stickers. My gaydar sucks too, btw.

I wonder if the stalking counts if we are both stalking each other? Does one stalking counter the other one?

 

[Samuelx]

Well, recently I got busted by a fellow bi male at a female model convention inside the Prudential Center in Boston. I was looking at all the fine women of all color and I loved it. Of course, some of them had their boyfriends with them and the boyfriends looked good too. My fellow bi male said to me : " I can tell that you and I are the same breed." I was shocked. " How ?" I asked. He laughed. " When you're walking, your eyes go to men and women. Always. You always look at both. You don't even seem to notice that you do it. I do it too. That's how I knew." We shook hands. I wanted to get to know him. He said that he was exclusive with his female so it's "later, boys." Oh, well. I took a shot.


He might have been right. Bisexuals look at both sexes. If your friend does that, maybe she's bi too.

 

[CuriousNiceGuy]

Bisexuals looking at both sexes...tsk tsk..that's a myth!
j/k!
Really though, it's not THAT easy to constantly notice the other person to see if he notices both sexes.She may just like to look at people!?
Asking directly IS awkward, but if you're not uncomfortable with coming out to that person, I think it's not THAT weird.
Anyway, I think that women are more open in that topic, meaning that, if you ask a woman if she'd ever have a sexual experience with another woman, it won't be as awkward as it would be with a man asking another man the same thing.
The woman would either hesitate and answer negatively or positively or even go deeper into the matter, while the man would just become awfully uncomfortable, and may even become unfriendly with the other(except if he IS gay/bi..).
Been there, done that XD

 

[Mari J]

Well, I look at both, but there's a reason. First I look at the woman; then I look at the man she's with and think, "What's she doing with him?"

 

[Rayn]

I've only met females in Gay Bars or Clubs.......

If I was interested in someone and didn't know her sexual orientation...I guess I would flirt with her a bit.....and see if I could pick up any vibes....

 

[24bigirly]

CuriousNiceGuy......I agree wih you completly. The difference between men and women in this subject is remarkable. I believe most women have at least considered the notion of being or trying bi. Men on the other hand, either are or are not. and there is a fine and disturbing line there I think with men. So as far as approachable, we women seem to be easier at the bi subject.

I want to thank you all for your responses and feelings so far. Please do not stop posting. I was particularly curious to hear about the man lookin at both sexes and someone utilizing that as a way to judge sexuality. Although, I think we women are sometimes so judgemental of other women that just because we look another girl up and down does not mean we are necessarily interested (we may be jealous/disgusted/curious or any number of other reactions). Who knows.......but interesting to think about!