How do I get it back?

[AriannaKing]

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[orgamimime]

Well, lube would be good for the wetness issue, but the idea of not feeling aroused is not so easy? Are you taking any new meds? Sometimes they can affect your libido.

I just don't get aroused like I used to anymore. I mean, seriously. I don't get very wet, sometimes if at all, I don't get that tingling feeling of arousal in my pussy anymore.
It's rather upsetting.
I can still cum, and it still feels good, just on a smaller scale, but it's just so....dry!

I've tried different things, erotic chat doesn't get me hot anymore, nor do the stories, and nor does the porn.

Sure, it helps me get at least a little in the mindset, but overall...it's just not good enough

I've considered buying sex toys, and that's all well and good but I can't use a vibrator because I still live at home, and the walls have ears!!!

Please help me!

 

[AriannaKing]

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[infinity706]

Honestly, I'd have your testosterone checked. (yes, it's important for women's arousal, too) It sounds like it could be an easily fixable physical problem.

 

[AriannaKing]

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[shiny5437]

I'm not so sure about the testosterone side of things but it might be worth mentioning the dryness problem to your GP. Could be a glandular problem. Get the physical box ticked and then your mind is settled so you can focus on the sex stuff.

 

[infinity706]

Testosterone!!!!

Yes, women have testosterone, too. Just like in men, if it gets too low, it hurts arousal and sex drive.

 

[satindesire]

Yeah, you absolutely want to make sure that your hormone levels are normal. I'd certainly go and speak to a doctor and see if they can run some blood tests on ya.

 

[fire_breeze]

Yeah, you absolutely want to make sure that your hormone levels are normal. I'd certainly go and speak to a doctor and see if they can run some blood tests on ya.

Echoed. And have your thyroid levels checked out. They can cause some major havoc.

And are you on the Pill? It may, even suddenly, decrease your natural lubrication and your sex drive.

 

[sunandshadow]

Being on the pill and low testosterone were my first thoughts too. I personally experienced starting one type of pill which killed my libido for a month until I could switch to a different one.

 

[human_male]

Maybe you just need an actual, you know... person. Porn and masturbation can only take us so far. We need a real, living partner for total fulfillment. Maybe porn, toys and chat were sufficient for you when you're young but as you mature it's just not cutting it any more.

I'm the same. I very rarely feel physically aroused. Porn's boring and hardly ever turns me on. Masturbation is more a functional, maintenance thing than something I do for pleasure. It could be I'm just not very highly sexed or it could be I just need a partner. I'm assuming it's the latter. When (or if) I meet someone that I'm really attracted to, have real feelings for and a real connection with, then things will take off.

 

[AriannaKing]

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[Cattypuss]

Could you be depressed? That can affect libido.

 

[AriannaKing]

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[Cattypuss]

Well some googling might give you some clues, but whatever, I think the clear message here is go and see your GP and explain your lack of libido - he can diagnose if it's hormonal; he can diagnose if it looks like depression.

 

[sunandshadow]

Thanks for your replies
Pathetic as it sounds this is kinda upsetting me.

Testosterone is already a problem for me - I have PCOS - and I've considered going on the Pill just for my personal 'monthly' issues.
I should probably talk to the doctor when I go for the Pill, shouldn't I?

As for partners, I get it. There's still so much I have to explore, but I'm not good with people. I'm nervous and shy and introverted. I find it difficult to start talking to people, though once I do I can talk their ears off! It's just hard to get to that point.

My life sucks!

Ohhhh, you should say you have PCOS, that totally affects the answer. I have PCOS also. Make sure you are aware of the connection with diabetes this disease has, and that you manage your diet/have a doctor treat the underlying dietary cause of this disease, not just the hormonal symptoms. In PCOS your testosterone will be a little high, but that is not a problem in terms of libido, if anything that increases libido (instead high levels of testosterone cause problems with developing a somewhat masculinized body shape, hirsuteness, and acne).

The underlying cause of PCOS is that when you eat starches and glucose your body does not break them down properly, instead you get a chemical which is a precursor of estrogen, which your body will process into estrogen. This confuses the ovaries, causing cysts which are partially-developed eggs; these pump out their own hormones to add to the mix, that's where the testosterone comes from. Having extra estrogen in your body also can cause muted sexuality/low libido and increases your tendency to put on weight.

So, the first line of treatment for PCOS should be a low starch and glucose diet, then the two major options are the pill and metformin, and a common secondary drug prescribed is a particular diuretic which flushes testosterone from the body.

 

[shiny5437]

The underlying cause of PCOS is that when you eat starches and glucose your body does not break them down properly, instead you get a chemical which is a precursor of estrogen, which your body will process into estrogen

The how-to section just got scarily good.

 

[shiny5437]

.....

 

[AriannaKing]

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[CowBoy18^]

age and fitness can cause a lower sexdrive, might wanna try being more physically active?

 

[AriannaKing]

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[vin_26m]

Lots of good posts in this thread.

How are your stress levels?

A good massage (a professional, non-sexual one) might help you relax.

An orgasm might be something that makes you feel better, but only when you're already feeling good.

Did the "dry spell" start in response to some other life event? How long has this been going on for?

 

[SweetErika]

I don't know how old you are, but getting the PCOS and any other hormonal & immune system issues under control should be your first priority. Overall health is the most important reason, but if there's a chance you might want to have children, especially the PCOS needs to be treated aggressively as early as possible.

A lot of women with PCOS also have thyroid, adrenal and/or other hormonal and metabolic problems, so make sure you get those checked out thoroughly. And by "checked out," I don't mean blood testing and a doctor's exam alone; those are fine tools, but temperature charting and independent research are often valuable and critical components, especially for diagnosing thyroid function. Click me and me for some really good info on metabolic issues.

Anyway, it sounds like you could have a bunch of things going on, and those are likely affecting your arousal. I'll jump on board in suggesting you thoroughly investigate the potential physical and mental causes first, and then seeing how it goes from there. It's possible you're just on the lower side of your personal arousal scale right now (most of us hit peaks and valleys at various times in our lives), and this will sort itself out in time. Buying toys and such will almost certainly not help if you have other physical or mental issues that are untreated or undertreated, though, so I'd stop looking for superficial fixes like that and focus on the potential underlying causes.

 

[mntcmn]

sucks

Dear Arianna:
If life sucks and it does so regularly, depression is a very good bet. I'd be depressed too if the walls had ears so that use of a a vibrator was not possible. What else is going on in your life?
M

 

[orgamimime]

It does sound like there are a couple of possible causes for some of what you are experiencing. I'm also impressed by the level of advice given here - quite top notch actually! Seeking some professional guidance seems to be a common thread and it looks like it is warranted.

My only extra two cents is to remember that there may well be hormonal and physiological forces at work, so don't get frustrated just thinking you lost "it." Take care of your body and it will take care of you, so to speak!

If you ever need an ear, I am sure you will always find a willing one here on Lit!