How do I find someone to play with?

[TeaforMe]

I have always identified as a straight woman, but lately I have wanted to explore the possibilities of being with another woman. The problem is, I have no desire to perform oral sex on one. I get excited at the possibility of being aggressively pursued by a more butch type who wants to perform oral sex on me and maybe some strap on sex, and I could also see the fun in a more femme type who I can play with boobies and touch some.

Will I ever find someone willing to be with me if I don't have the desire to lick another woman? And if so, how do I find someone willing to play with me. I am confident with my ways with men, but with women I have no game.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Oral is only one way of playing with a woman, out of the hundreds of ways that are possible. You have hands and fingers, which are the universe's most versatile sex toys-- except for tentacles, possibly, but those don't exist on our planet-- and then there's thighs and other body parts to rub against, not to mention they gazillion vibrators and insertables our busy little primate brains have invented.

So no, you don't have to lick pussy in order to share pleasure with another woman.

As for meeting someone who will let you explore, that's a bit mroe problematic. Women who consider themselves straight often find themselves falling in looooove with the dyke who takes a chance on her-- right up until the moment she meets some dude, because, you know-- straight. Which is pretty damn rough on the dyke, you gotta admit.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Oral is only one way of playing with a woman, out of the hundreds of ways that are possible. You have hands and fingers, which are the universe's most versatile sex toys-- except for tentacles, possibly, but those don't exist on our planet-- and then there's thighs and other body parts to rub against, not to mention they gazillion vibrators and insertables our busy little primate brains have invented.

So no, you don't have to lick pussy in order to share pleasure with another woman.

As for meeting someone who will let you explore, that's a bit mroe problematic. Women who consider themselves straight often find themselves falling in looooove with the dyke who takes a chance on her-- right up until the moment she meets some dude, because, you know-- straight. Which is pretty damn rough on the dyke, you gotta admit.

What Stella said!

The only exception would be about the dyke falling in loooove with you thing.

If you go out some place and meet up with a chick, especially if she's a dyke, make DAMN sure you are clear that you are a curious hetero chick. It won't bother some of them (except for possibly the you can lick me, but I won't lick you back "one way" thing. Others it will turn off muchly. To do otherwise is not only being a big ass fake, but will most prolly get you ass beat for lying to them (if only by omission) rather than loooooved.

 

[TeaforMe]

I am pretty much an open book with no plans on playing games of deception. I love the advice given so far. I certainly am not looking to either fall in love or hurt anyone's feelings, but I can see how those two things could easily occur.

 

[Fmature2play]

Don't think the falling in love thing cannot happen even tho you aren't wanting to. Sometimes the experience can be overwhelming or the woman herself can be someone that just bends your reality whether you were wanting it too or not. I have been there and have had it happen and I consider myself to be a gal that knows what she wants and is looking for but turns out it found me without me looking. Good luck sweets and hope you have lots of new experiences and loads of fun.

 

[Stella_Omega]

They don't call it "making Love" for no reason...

 

[TeaforMe]

Yes, I see what you are saying and will keep an open mind to the fact that feelings will be involved at some level. We women are emotionally oriented to begin with.

 

[Fmature2play]

Yeah where is that switch at anyhow? Wouldn't it be nice to be able to just turn it off sometimes?

 

[lindsey4cum]

Im not putting my hat in but a girl not like me would love to help and give you other options! When im dressed I dont like to be untucked so that may help! Lol idk im prity open minded too but I want to be a woman and being with a girl it would open up things too for me, but its another option too. Hope you find your itch! Hope she scratches! Lol!

 

[ScottishTess]

What Stella said!

The only exception would be about the dyke falling in loooove with you thing.

If you go out some place and meet up with a chick, especially if she's a dyke, make DAMN sure you are clear that you are a curious hetero chick. It won't bother some of them (except for possibly the you can lick me, but I won't lick you back "one way" thing. Others it will turn off muchly. To do otherwise is not only being a big ass fake, but will most prolly get you ass beat for lying to them (if only by omission) rather than loooooved.

These two comments really sum it all up for me. Ty Safe & Stella

I would add though that it can be scary taking the first step. If you feel too shy about hitting the scene where you are, you could try online. Be wary though; there are lots of dubious dating sites but there are a couple of online that are quite good. Not sure about the rules about posting a link but i will play safe (send me an IM maybe?). I say "good" with my tongue in cheek though, you still have to keep your wits about you and tbh the sites you pay for tend to be better at weeding out the pervs and oddballs. There are real people out there though who will want to get to know you! Be brave.

and stay safe

 

[TeaforMe]

Yeah where is that switch at anyhow? Wouldn't it be nice to be able to just turn it off sometimes?

If only I could. I know for me there would have to be some emotional connection, at the very least a friendship. I am certainly not looking to engage in one night stands or wham bams. Sigh...now where's that switch!

Im not putting my hat in but a girl not like me would love to help and give you other options! When im dressed I dont like to be untucked so that may help! Lol idk im prity open minded too but I want to be a woman and being with a girl it would open up things too for me, but its another option too. Hope you find your itch! Hope she scratches! Lol!

I really had to stop and wrap my brain around this. LOL I consider myself to be fairly open minded, and that pushed it to the limit!

These two comments really sum it all up for me. Ty Safe & Stella

I would add though that it can be scary taking the first step. If you feel too shy about hitting the scene where you are, you could try online. Be wary though; there are lots of dubious dating sites but there are a couple of online that are quite good. Not sure about the rules about posting a link but i will play safe (send me an IM maybe?). I say "good" with my tongue in cheek though, you still have to keep your wits about you and tbh the sites you pay for tend to be better at weeding out the pervs and oddballs. There are real people out there though who will want to get to know you! Be brave.

and stay safe

Thanks, I agree with advice completely and I am so glad I turned to you folks for advice. I think all too often, people get hung up in gender assignment and don't allow themselves to just feel.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I a few women who kinda-sorta want to be with a woman in the sense of softness and cooing and giggling girlishness and sharing eyeshadows...

But don't like pussy.

or maybe they don't respond to female pheromones, yanno?

And they sometimes end up with MTF's, often pre-op but sincerely female-thinking transwomen.

Sometimes, it can be a perfect match.



(Such a woman could call herself "pansexual" if asked)

 

[boredVAwife]

My best advice - go to the beach. Any beach. I have lived within a couple hours of the coast of va for years and have made more trips than I can count. It seems like the sun, the waves, and the just plain old laid back lifestyle opens some women up to things that maybe they might be hesitant about back home. I have been hit on in clubs and right on the boardwalk. Maybe it's the bike and the leather - I know tons of guys swear by it - but I still think it's the beach atmosphere. Works for me.

 

[TeaforMe]

My best advice - go to the beach. Any beach. I have lived within a couple hours of the coast of va for years and have made more trips than I can count. It seems like the sun, the waves, and the just plain old laid back lifestyle opens some women up to things that maybe they might be hesitant about back home. I have been hit on in clubs and right on the boardwalk. Maybe it's the bike and the leather - I know tons of guys swear by it - but I still think it's the beach atmosphere. Works for me.

I love this idea...now I wish I lived closer to the beach....and that it was summer...sigh. LOL

 

[dicky911]

I have always identified as a straight woman, but lately I have wanted to explore the possibilities of being with another woman. The problem is, I have no desire to perform oral sex on one. I get excited at the possibility of being aggressively pursued by a more butch type who wants to perform oral sex on me and maybe some strap on sex, and I could also see the fun in a more femme type who I can play with boobies and touch some.

Will I ever find someone willing to be with me if I don't have the desire to lick another woman? And if so, how do I find someone willing to play with me. I am confident with my ways with men, but with women I have no game.

but why not a 3some with another lady and a man? two other folks are enough to do all the licking, my dear!