How do I find a dom?

thickchick270

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Aug 19, 2015
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I really want a dom/sub relationship and I don't know where to find a guy into that. I was wondering if anyone had any advice.

Every time I tell a guy I like a really dominant person they say that they are for sure that and then when it comes down to it they don't really know anything about it. I was wondering how I would find a truly dominant guy if anyone has advice.

xx
 
There are dominant guys on here, but yes, you need to be very selective and take a lot of time weeding out the asshats from the guys who are the real deal.

Also, fetlife.com is a good place to find people (or events/munches) near you.
 
Ask siri! She is brilliant.

Since you didn't specify your criteria for a dom, I am going to assume it's along the lines of Christian Grey-but without the weird eating thing and only in book 1 since he eventually becomes domesticated. Everyone knows who he is, so just ask each potential guy if they are able to pull out a tampon, make cold elevators seem erotic and have millions of dollars to spend on you. You should be fine and subbie in no time!

(Yes I did like 50 shades of grey book 1)
 
*Not sure if serious*

You might want to try poking around the BDSM board (not necessarily posting a thread there just seeing if any of posters frequenting there seem like they could lead you in the right direction). If nothing else, I often find that part of the forum has some very polite posters.

There are a few websites (EDIT: Rawhuor mentioned Fetlife...great site though you might have to travel a bit if the groups have died up in your area) that can help you find meet-ups in your city.

You could try the personals...but I wouldn't recommend it...not that I've ever used an alt account to find out what it's like to pose as a woman looking for a dom but there are some real creeps and posers

*stops to take a call from Mr. Pot*

I will say though, when you do find a potential one, make sure you're upfront with what you want. There'a a HUGE range between "Hella-confident guy who takes charge in the bedroom," and "Guy I trust to brand me like a steer after humiliating me in front of his work friends"
 
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There are no doms at BDSM. Its a nest of caped imposters and mentally ill old hags.
 
A guy who is truly an alpha or dominant male never claims to be one - because they don't care!
 
I really want a dom/sub relationship and I don't know where to find a guy into that. I was wondering if anyone had any advice.

Every time I tell a guy I like a really dominant person they say that they are for sure that and then when it comes down to it they don't really know anything about it. I was wondering how I would find a truly dominant guy if anyone has advice.

xx

You could go to California and do bondage porn...and get paid for it!
 
There are no doms at BDSM. Its a nest of caped imposters and mentally ill old hags.

This is not true.

OP, you should head over to the BDSM Forum and read there, participate, ask questions. You may be able to find a dominant man to play with in the personals, but if you're looking to develop a relationship with someone, a D/s relationship is just like any other, just kink friendly.

A first step, I think, would be finding out what you like. Not all Dom types have the same interests, so knowing what you are even looking for is a good idea. A starting point may be googling "BDSM checklist."
 
I don't get it

The Dom sub thingy
Look at your crotch
Women receive, so why would they serve a man?
Man gives, protects and provides to the woman.
Biologically women have the power with sex
Woman says if sex happens, not the guy
Even animals know this... Male fights, dances, chases, builds, brings gifts of objects or food and female looks over his offering, checks his health then says yes or no
That's the natural way
 
You ignore the role the brain plays in sexuality and eroticism

As for crotches some would say that the act of penetration is a dominant act. Personally I can think of others but your analysis of 'natural' gender roles is weak and lacking substance
 
The Dom sub thingy
Look at your crotch
Women receive, so why would they serve a man?
Man gives, protects and provides to the woman.
Biologically women have the power with sex
Woman says if sex happens, not the guy
Even animals know this... Male fights, dances, chases, builds, brings gifts of objects or food and female looks over his offering, checks his health then says yes or no
That's the natural way

You realize there are plenty of female dommes and male subs, yes? Plus, same sex relationships occur within BDSM, too.

Psst: subs have the power to say no, too. That doesn't go anywhere.

"The natural way"?? Okay, then.
 
'at's what I've heard. I've also heard there's awful jerks everywhere online, so that may be why meeting in a public safe place works better.

This is true when meeting anyone from online, not just D/s meet ups.
 
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