How do I become more confident?

[BDisaster]

My girlfriend and I have been together for a few months and the topic of fantasys has come up.

she wants to be with someone who can act sexually and physically confident as much as she can.

problem is, my girlfriend is...just the most beautiful woman ive ever met. shes maybe a size 2, with an incredible body. I on the other hand wear size 16 and have a small waist but big ol hips and an ass that makes black guys get excited haha

im insecure about these flaws. mind you i used to be size 28, my gf states over and over again that im beautiful and that shes attracted to me and how proud of me she is but i cant get over this insecurity of her seein me naked. we've been sexually active, shes felt me, shes kind of seen me in the day time but im still trippin on this

i have a tan, im not bad on top, but my ass and thighs ruin everything. she wants to take showers together and lord knows i want to too but im scared of how she'll react when she sees me in the light...in all my glory.

does anyone have any ways to get over this? should i just suck it up and go with it? im working out every day, trying to get fit, but i have a feeling that this fantasy is important to her and she wants it soon :/

 

[kaycee217]

My girlfriend and I have been together for a few months and the topic of fantasys has come up.

she wants to be with someone who can act sexually and physically confident as much as she can.

problem is, my girlfriend is...just the most beautiful woman ive ever met. shes maybe a size 2, with an incredible body. I on the other hand wear size 16 and have a small waist but big ol hips and an ass that makes black guys get excited haha

im insecure about these flaws. mind you i used to be size 28, my gf states over and over again that im beautiful and that shes attracted to me and how proud of me she is but i cant get over this insecurity of her seein me naked. we've been sexually active, shes felt me, shes kind of seen me in the day time but im still trippin on this

i have a tan, im not bad on top, but my ass and thighs ruin everything. she wants to take showers together and lord knows i want to too but im scared of how she'll react when she sees me in the light...in all my glory.

does anyone have any ways to get over this? should i just suck it up and go with it? im working out every day, trying to get fit, but i have a feeling that this fantasy is important to her and she wants it soon :/

There's a start. It may not be ideal, but it is my belief that confidence almost always involves some sort of bluffing. No is perfect, everyone has flaws, and to be truly confident, one needs to ignore at least a few things.

And don't worry about feeling a bit self conscious when naked...we ALL are, to some extent.

 

[emap]

Some of us more than others. I personally don't want to be nude in front of others, he likes to flaunt me almost. I admit i like getting dressed up in the little red dress with no panties and heels and stockings, because he loves me in it. He literally pulls me out the door to go somewhere in it. Once I realize that the guys are not laughing at me I relax a little.

Before anyone starts reading back my previous posts my coming on to guys with do you want me right now happened when i was drunk, the blowjobs in the bar when I was drunk. He teases me about it sometimes.

As for you, really the first thing you have to remember is your gal is there having sex with you, she isn't running away so unless you have a third arm or a dead fetus stuck to you like a certain nurse in South Park, she won't run away when you get in the shower with her.

Confidence is really nothing more than the person either being a stuck up little shit, generally that is a guy with a big wang. He's reading over my shoulder. Or someone who decided that it does not matter what anyone else thinks, I'm still working on the second one. It is however perfectly fine to care what one person thinks and well the fact they are pursuing a sex life with you says everything you need to know about what they think of your looks.

 

[coastal-boy]

argue for your limitations and so they shall be yours.

If you convince yourself you can't, you won't. My wife is still suffering from the extra baby weight she gained from her recent pregnancy. I know it bothers her bad. But the other day while I was taking a shower...the curtain pulled aside and in she popped. I was so fucking proud of her. It was a very good night. Just do it and you can thank me later. Go...now...

 

[NippleMuncher]

My first girlfriend was overweight and extremely self conscious about being seen in the nude. Through my reassurance and praise, she was able to work through that fear and became more self confident. It sounds like your girlfriend is much the same way with you. She doesn't care about your faults, she loves you and wants to be with you.

Your girlfriend already knows the size of your ass, whether she's seen it nekid or not. Maybe, just MAYBE, she enjoys her SO with a little junk in the trunk? Maybe, just MAYBE, she sees beyond the package and is in love with the person inside?

No one expects you to just drop your issues and be free, but understand that this is YOUR issue, and it is YOU that must work your way through it. Trust that your girlfriend's cues are correct, that she does indeed wish to see you in the suit that God gave you. IMHO, there is nothing more sexy than self-confidence, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Big folks can be sexy and desirable too, DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU OTHERWISE!

Let it go, love yourself, and indulge your girlfriends desire for company in the shower. I'm willing to bet that she will more than reward you for your efforts.

 

[infinity706]

My girlfriend and I have been together for a few months and the topic of fantasys has come up.

she wants to be with someone who can act sexually and physically confident as much as she can.

problem is, my girlfriend is...just the most beautiful woman ive ever met. shes maybe a size 2, with an incredible body. I on the other hand wear size 16 and have a small waist but big ol hips and an ass that makes black guys get excited haha

im insecure about these flaws. mind you i used to be size 28, my gf states over and over again that im beautiful and that shes attracted to me and how proud of me she is but i cant get over this insecurity of her seein me naked. we've been sexually active, shes felt me, shes kind of seen me in the day time but im still trippin on this

i have a tan, im not bad on top, but my ass and thighs ruin everything. she wants to take showers together and lord knows i want to too but im scared of how she'll react when she sees me in the light...in all my glory.

does anyone have any ways to get over this? should i just suck it up and go with it? im working out every day, trying to get fit, but i have a feeling that this fantasy is important to her and she wants it soon :/

Yes, you should definately just go for it. Who knows? Your girlfriend might not even have a preference for skinny chicks. From my experience, the only people that can agree on it are womens' magazines that have an interest in publishing diet articles. If you go through mens' magazines and porn, you'll see a lot of women of various shapes and sizes, including ones much bigger than you are. Hell, there are even websites dedicated to 300+ pound women.

Some of us more than others. I personally don't want to be nude in front of others, he likes to flaunt me almost. I admit i like getting dressed up in the little red dress with no panties and heels and stockings, because he loves me in it. He literally pulls me out the door to go somewhere in it. Once I realize that the guys are not laughing at me I relax a little.

Before anyone starts reading back my previous posts my coming on to guys with do you want me right now happened when i was drunk, the blowjobs in the bar when I was drunk. He teases me about it sometimes.

As for you, really the first thing you have to remember is your gal is there having sex with you, she isn't running away so unless you have a third arm or a dead fetus stuck to you like a certain nurse in South Park, she won't run away when you get in the shower with her.

Confidence is really nothing more than the person either being a stuck up little shit, generally that is a guy with a big wang. He's reading over my shoulder. Or someone who decided that it does not matter what anyone else thinks, I'm still working on the second one. It is however perfectly fine to care what one person thinks and well the fact they are pursuing a sex life with you says everything you need to know about what they think of your looks.

Now, it all makes sense as to how you could be the slutty little bombshell half the time and the other, sound like you'd rather be filing your fingernails than getting fucked. Of course, it never made any sense to me because I act like a total slut without being drunk. It wasn't always that way, though. I used to be the shy little virgin. Sure, some people will laugh at you, but they're just jealous. I'm just a pretty average looking guy and I've had a bunch of the size 0 chicks getting pissed because I get more action than they do.

 

[cryforme1v]

My girlfriend and I have been together for a few months and the topic of fantasys has come up.

she wants to be with someone who can act sexually and physically confident as much as she can.

problem is, my girlfriend is...just the most beautiful woman ive ever met. shes maybe a size 2, with an incredible body. I on the other hand wear size 16 and have a small waist but big ol hips and an ass that makes black guys get excited haha

im insecure about these flaws. mind you i used to be size 28, my gf states over and over again that im beautiful and that shes attracted to me and how proud of me she is but i cant get over this insecurity of her seein me naked. we've been sexually active, shes felt me, shes kind of seen me in the day time but im still trippin on this

i have a tan, im not bad on top, but my ass and thighs ruin everything. she wants to take showers together and lord knows i want to too but im scared of how she'll react when she sees me in the light...in all my glory.

does anyone have any ways to get over this? should i just suck it up and go with it? im working out every day, trying to get fit, but i have a feeling that this fantasy is important to her and she wants it soon :/

one thing i have learned is - if someone is with you, then they want to be with YOU. All of you. Not just for sex. She sounds like an understanding person from the little bit i have read, and reassuring. I would just go with it, you're not going to get comfortable with her if you keep hiding from yourself. Open up and let her see you in all of your glory and i guarentee she'll love it and after a bit - you'll get caught in the moment and wont even think about being seen naked - you'll be to busy enjoying the sites you're seeing.


Trust me on this - i wear a size 18 and i'm very uncomfortable with my body, but when i get caught in the moment - all of those pesky insecurities just disapear.

 

[Mac98]

imo, if you're working out and still trying to get into shape (if not already), then that conscious effort to better yourself for your girlfriend should be a self-esteem booster in itself. No matter what you look like, your g/f will probably not leave you because of the way your ass looks like in the shower... especially not if it's temporary.

And if she does, then you'll know in advance she just wasn't the one you'd end up spending the rest of your life with.

My advice: Keep working out and talk to your girlfriend about it. Let her know how insecure you are towards this situation.

 

[Ohiorob]

Two thoughts:

You know what your g/f wants from you. Give it to her with all the enthusiasm and energy you can muster. Dress for her....then undress for her. Add in the candles or the wine or the smoke you enjoy together. After you have given......give her a little more.

In the afterglow, tell her about your most outrageous fantasy AND then ask to hear about her's. Help each other make fantasy reality if possible.

Give, give more, and then risk it all with absolute honesty re fantasies.

((sidebar: imo, she wants you and her, to take on this third "supremely confident" lover. thats why she wants to talk fantasy.))

As a 60 yo short fat guy I can tell ya.......work with what ya got and enjoy the outcome. That will help bring you confidence.

 

[JesseCats80]

The first thing you need to do in order to not drive her away is NOT to show how unconfident you are and how scared you are.
First of all, continue working on your body: run a lot, drink a lot of water all the time, eat ONLY healthy etc...
Now, I think you need to strenghten your inner self. Google "affirmations" and find an article that teaches you how to "re-program" your sub-conscious and your beliefs. What you need to do is become that other person you see on the street who looks like you, but LOVES him/her self and proud of him/her self. You need to get there. It's not a lot of work, it's kind of fun and IT FEELS GOOD!

Try it, it works like a charm.

 

[greystardust]

She digs you man, and that makes you a lucky guy. Probably, you don't even realise just what it is that makes her dig you, but don't try find out.

She's really good for you this woman, she's the one who's bringing you out into the light, to be your real self in the world, so GO for it.

And keep working out, that's sincere, and it'll pay off. Do it for real, but don't fuck your life up by making it #1 priority - make her #1.

And give her all your loving dude, she deserves it

 

[TheCarver]

She digs you man, and that makes you a lucky guy. Probably, you don't even realise just what it is that makes her dig you, but don't try find out.

She's really good for you this woman, she's the one who's bringing you out into the light, to be your real self in the world, so GO for it.

And keep working out, that's sincere, and it'll pay off. Do it for real, but don't fuck your life up by making it #1 priority - make her #1.

And give her all your loving dude, she deserves it

hate to break it to you, but you're talking to a woman.

 

[TheCarver]

My girlfriend and I have been together for a few months and the topic of fantasys has come up.

she wants to be with someone who can act sexually and physically confident as much as she can.

problem is, my girlfriend is...just the most beautiful woman ive ever met. shes maybe a size 2, with an incredible body. I on the other hand wear size 16 and have a small waist but big ol hips and an ass that makes black guys get excited haha

im insecure about these flaws. mind you i used to be size 28, my gf states over and over again that im beautiful and that shes attracted to me and how proud of me she is but i cant get over this insecurity of her seein me naked. we've been sexually active, shes felt me, shes kind of seen me in the day time but im still trippin on this

i have a tan, im not bad on top, but my ass and thighs ruin everything. she wants to take showers together and lord knows i want to too but im scared of how she'll react when she sees me in the light...in all my glory.

does anyone have any ways to get over this? should i just suck it up and go with it? im working out every day, trying to get fit, but i have a feeling that this fantasy is important to her and she wants it soon :/

So you have lost 8 sizes, you have a woman that desires you, and you want to be with this woman. Let go and let her catch you. Relationships are all about trust and it sounds as though she cares enough about you that you can try and trust her.

I can't imagine the insecurities you feel towards yourself physically because I have always been thin, but I do know about mental insecurities. Take a small step at a time if you have to, but let her help you. If she cares, you will be fine.

 

[TheRealFATANG]

Google "affirmations" and find an article that teaches you how to "re-program" your sub-conscious and your beliefs.

I choose to contradict the validity of the statement above.

That aside, it is my opinion as an ex-fat kid, that self-esteem is over rated. Trying to feel good about yourself will make you neurotic. Instead, put things in perspective:
-You have a SO
-She likes you
-Shower sex is awesome to the MAX
-Worse things have happened to better people
-Who gives a fuck what someone else thinks, they aren't the one that wants your ass, she does

 

[timothy1238]

To become more confident try to always tell the truth.this will be the best way.
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Online Reputation Management

 

[the_sinner]

should i just suck it up and go with it?

Ultimately that's what it's going to have to be.

You can work out, diet, or do whatever else to improve your body, but if you're insecure about it now you'll probably always find something to be insecure about. Not to say you shouldn't get exercise and eat right, but that's not going to solve the problem for you.

If it helps, you might just try reminding yourself that this incredibly gorgeous woman who could have almost anyone she wants has chosen you--therefore you must have something going on.

 

[seemoreme]

there are many ways to make your self confident like don't change your words all the time, try to face your self in mirror, read some books on sex and ofcourse always speak truth.

 

[Sweet_Carolina]

There is only one solution to become confident which is to take all the fear out from you which will help you succed the realities of life confiedently.