how did you

[SIC]

Hey all, This is kinda i different topic that i just got some questions.

Well i am 19 and i have alot of presurre on me to goto university and everything. But for some reason my parents arent willing to help me and i dont understand they are both well off. They have set the bar so high for me that i am scared that i cant make it over. My mom is like trying to make me into her or thats how i feel. Like they are pushing me so hard that i just dont want to even go because the ski seems so high. But for some reason i cant say anything to them!!! Its not like my parents arent open to me they are amazing parents they really really are you could ask anyone. They are really like my friends but not when it comes to school.

How did you if you had to pay for university by urself? Right now i am working full time and it seems like i never make that much more money.

I also have a car to pay for as well that i aint getting any help with.

I dont believe in loans at all because all they end up doing in screwin you in the long run and thats how i feel. I also dont use my master card except to pay my cell phone just easier that way.

I just dont know where i am supposed to get all this money from and i was wondering if any of you could help me out or tell me how you did it.

 

[Sarah Bethany]

i have huge loans to pay back. I wish I knew how to pay for school without them.

 

[dollface007]

So you say you don't believe in loans. What about scholarships? Have you applied for any? Are your grades or SAT scores good enough for a scholarship? Are you willing to go into an ROTC program to pay for college? Are you willing to go to college half time for 8 years while working full time? Have you even been accepted to any universities, and if so, did they give you any kind of financial aid package?

If you say no to all of these questions, you better start believing in student loans. Student loans are an investment in your education, your future, and your children's future. Turning your nose up at student loans (which is about the lowest interest loan you're going to find) really only does a disservice to yourself, and you'd be a fool to skip college just because you "don't believe in loans." What do you think a mortgage is? Are you saying that you would never buy a house because you don't believe in loans? Ridiculous. I'm sorry your parents won't pay for you, and you should keep trying to get them involved in your education, but until then, you have some hard facts to face.

Unfortunately, my parents didn't have the money to pay for a higher education. I even paid my own college application fees with money i made from my part-time job in high school. I worked my ass off to secure scholarships, but it wasn't enough and i had to apply for financial aid (that means filling out a FAFSA form). My University worked out a financial package that was part gov't grants, part loans, and part work-study employment. This got me through college at a pretty prestigious university, cum laude, with acceptance to the #1 ranked graduate program in my field, and i don't regret one single penny.

Now, since your parents have money, you're going to have to be declared independent. In other words, they won't be able to claim you on their tax return, and their income won't count against your financial aid. If you've been accepted to a university, talk to their financial aid counselors about how to do this. If you haven't been accepted anywhere, ask the counselors at your local community college how to do this, or go online.

You might end up trading that car in for a nice used model that you can afford, or a nice sturdy Trek . Such is the life of a student. If you want an education, you have to make sacrifices. Yes, you might be surrounded by rich pricks who are coddled by their parents and drive Escalades to class, but you'll probably find that most college students out their aren't living the life of luxury.

Good luck to you. Feel free to pm me with any questions.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

the thing that stuck out to me was that you arent sure you want to go. That's one of the most important keys there. If it's becuasue you dont know what you want to do with your life, then I say take some time off of school and work full time maybe taking a class at a time (the general stuff) at community college. If it's because you feel pressured by your parents, talk to them. If they're as open as you say they are, then you need to be open with them. They arent going to have a clue of what's running through your head unless you say something. But if it's because you dont want loans, then see dollface's post. I agree with her on that.

 

[Dstorage]

You haven't mentioned what your goals in life are, and that is important. Don't worry about exactly what they are, believe me they will change as you go through life but you need to be in touch with what they are right now too. Does college fit into it at the moment? There is nothing wrong with doing some other stuff for a few years while you sort things out. I decided to do some other stuff in life after high school (and to be honest 1 year of college too) For a long time I was a sort of black sheep in the family because I was the only family member out of grade school who didn't have a PhD or was currently enrolled in a doctoral program! Of course I was busy doing other stuff with my life which was more meaningful at the time.

I guess the main thing is as long as you aren't laying around stagnating doing something you don't want to do it doesn't really matter what you do, whether or not it is college.

On the other hand, if you were to decide to get a full time job (just get something interesting!) and move out on your own for a year, not only will you have a fun time but mom and dad might decide they can afford a little tuition after all!

 

[SIC]

Yes i have been except to both of the universitys here where i am. Last year i took business because thats what my family is accounting and business ppl. My parents always want me to have more then they have.

I think my biggest problem is that i aint sure what i want to do its not that i dont want to goto university or that i cant do it i just feel like i am going to be wasting money so to speak. I know you can never really waste money on school.

My mom says that if i dont go this year i have one year to work and save then i have to move out and see what its like living on what i am making. But i dont really think she would do this.

I want to do something interesting in life but i havent thought of it yet. I got some ideas!

I know i do have it alot better then alot of ppl so sry if i were to sound like i am bitchin cause there not paying. I guess the reason i am kinda against loans is because my dad always said dont by things you cant afford. I know i will have to take out a student loan this year i really dont got anything else i can do. I just hate work to always be paying something off. But i guess that was true what i do now will affect my kids as well(when they come not for a long time!!).

I just am having a hard time with the pressure and i dont know what i want to do myself. I am a good student and things come pretty easy to me i think last year 1st year university my lowest mark was a B.

thx for any help
ps dollface007 i am going to take you up on the pm tomorrow its to late right now for me to write a msg

 

[SensualCealy]

One thing Id suggest is, take out a managable loan, even if you can get your parents to co-sign for you.

Go to school no matter what, stay in the routine, you break the routine and you will get stuck.

No one is saying (I hope) that you have to be what you go to school for. Some go to school two or three times and change majors as many times if not more in the time they are there.

Go and take general classes, things you will need no matter what "YOU" want to be. Englishes, Maths, etc. your guidance councillor should be able to help you with this. That way you will be somewhat of the way done when you do decide what it is you want to do.

Since you said you have a few ideas, why not follow them through, you could always start in January too, alot of kids do that instead of giving up a good summer job and make more cash.

If you were to go to the university of your choice and live on campus, would you need a car at all? I know life is easier with a car but if you can afford to get rid of it for a while or even leave it at mom and dads and take some of the insurance off of it, you wont be spending as much on gas as well. City transit usually is beefed up around post secondary schools just for that reason.

One thing I recommend and I dont want you to say Im being too much like your mom even if Im old enough to be your mom. GO TO SCHOOL NO MATTER WHAT! Its funny up here in Canada, to get some of the basic jobs you need post secondary education. I grew up in the time where it was recommended but not needed. All you needed was a SSGD to get a half decent job, now you basically cant flip burgers unless you are in highschool or going to college!

It may not seem like it but Mom and Dad are setting you up for the real world, too bad they didnt do it sooner. Meaning, the money you have spent on gas and insurance and on car repairs could have been put into an education fund for you to go to school!

Take care and dont be afraid to talk to your parents as an adult, they were in your shoes at one time too!
Cealy

 

[dollface007]

Accounting..****!!

Listen, it's going to be hard to say no to your parents, but they're not paying for school and have no right to tell you what your major is going to be and what to do with your life. Did you know that you can be a philosophy major and still go to mba school, med school, or law school? Take time to explore and have fun. Very few people stick with their first major. And besides, a major isn't who you are or what you're going to be, it's a means to a piece of paper that's going to open lots of doors for you. If you've already got a bunch of business credits, make that your minor...maybe that will help get the 'rents off your back.

Once you get the whole financial aid thing going, you should be able to move out of your parents house and live on campus or in a cheap apartment. You'll be more independent, your parents won't be hassling you all the time, and you'll probably have ALOT more fun experiencing "college life" away from home.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

Accounting..****!!

Listen, it's going to be hard to say no to your parents, but they're not paying for school and have no right to tell you what your major is going to be and what to do with your life. Did you know that you can be a philosophy major and still go to mba school, med school, or law school? Take time to explore and have fun. Very few people stick with their first major. And besides, a major isn't who you are or what you're going to be, it's a means to a piece of paper that's going to open lots of doors for you. If you've already got a bunch of business credits, make that your minor...maybe that will help get the 'rents off your back.

Once you get the whole financial aid thing going, you should be able to move out of your parents house and live on campus or in a cheap apartment. You'll be more independent, your parents won't be hassling you all the time, and you'll probably have ALOT more fun experiencing "college life" away from home.

very wise statements here.

I'm in college now. My last year finally. I dont know that many people here that have stayed wtih what they had originally started out for. I've changed my major, as have tons of other people here. And believe me, my school is not little (there's like 40,000 people here). Once you try what you think you want, you may not like it. Things change. Sometimes things just arent what you had originally thought they'd be. If you're already going, then go, but talk to your advisor about all of this too. They'll be able to help you find what you want to do. They'll probably send you for some type of testing (like interests testing) to see what you're most interested in. You may surprise yourself with those tests. I'm 2 semesters from graduating (including this one) and I'm taking a seminar right now that deals with exactly what you're asking about here. There are thousands of options out there for you. Just keep your eyes open looking for them.

 

[I'm Wild Cherry]

I also vote for taking general classes as an undeclared major until you know what you would like to do. Don't get out of the habit of how to study. It is much harder when you are no longer in practice!

Others have given you some great advice thus far. Good luck to you!

 

[H0wl]

Student Loans

Debt is generally bad.

Strategic debt can be both good and necessary. Examples: Mortgates and student loans.

Definitely get as you can in grants/scholarships etc. But if you need to get student loans for the rest of it...thats what they're THERE for.

There are (at least in the US) also lots of programs that if you meet certain requirements will pay your college tuition as long as you dedicate a certain # of years to working with a particular institution or company afterwards.

These may not be a great choice for you now since you're still undecided but...keep them in mind.