How can you take it?

[PJ526]

I just had my first ever story published, A plumber has a huge pipe, and I was curious - how does everyone handle any somewhat negative feedback? The feedback was not really on the story at all, it was on me, the wife. It is under the new stories for now, but I hope will be moved to the "Loving Wives" catagory.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=361206

Will someone read it and tell me if it is all that bad? I have gotten a couple of positive ones and I realize that with the positive, there must be negative. Will you please read it and let me know HONESTLY what you thought? I would very much appreciate it...

PJ

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

First let me say, Loving Wives is the graveyard of many hopeful newbies. Do you really want to post anything in there? That is a viscious crowd who's comments continuously end up as rants in this Forum.

As for your story, it lacks a few things: Plot development, character development, tension, Dialogue and so on. In fact, it's not really a story at all, it's a "snippet" - a part of a story that really never got off the ground.

I'll say it now, because someone will. DON'T USE NUMBERS! You wrote, "He was 6' with dark buzzed hair and blue eyes." In the next paragraph you wrote, "...I had been married for 6 years, my husband..." These are two classic mistakes. In the first example - just don't do that. It's boring. There are other ways. For instance, you could have said, "His blue eyes and brown, buzzed hair fit perfectly with the tall frame."

In the second example, you should have written it out - SIX not 6. Numbers are used only when it is an actual number, like an address or something like time - 6:00 o'clock.

Throughout the story you are TELLING. It's like a guy sitting in a bar telling a story. There are thousands of those stories posted. You need to learn to SHOW your stories. How do you do that? Let your characters tell their own story. Let them talk. To do that you have to flesh them out and make the reader believe they are real.

Now, did I attack you or your husband? I don't think so. But your story was not really very well done or interesting. Sorry.

 

[TitianaPeaks]

Honestly, I don't think it fits the 'Loving Wives' category. More along the lines of Erotic Couplings, I'd say.....most of the Loving Wives stories involve wives and their husbands, and ergo, that's probably why you're getting that negative feedback.

 

[Lalah]

Obligatory "there should be a warning message before posting to Loving Wives" comment.

 

[Darkniciad]

The feedback is typical Loving Wives fare, and you're going to get that no matter what. A lot of the seriel commenters are bitter and more than a little reality challenged.

I have to agree that the story is a little miscategorized. Her husband is little more than an afterthought. The cheating stories in LW tend to have involvement from both halves of the marriage, which is where the tension comes from that drives the story. You might get a little lip about "cheating stories belong in LW" from the Erotic Couplings category, but I think this belongs there more than LW.

Jenny otherwise summed up my thoughts as I read the story.

 

[PJ526]

Thank you

I appreciate your feedback - I just revised another story I had written and changed the category it was in. I did need to hear all those things and no, you did not attack me or my husband.

Thank you again!

 

[drksideofthemoon]

I agree completely with what Jenny said.