How can I soar with Eagles when I have to work with Turkeys?

[Nexxus]

AAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!
Whew I think I lost a lung there.
Okay, just how stupid do you have to be to work for my company? We don't ask alot. We're a small, tight knit group and we all try to do our jobs to the best of our ability and then some.
Then there's the warehouse crew.
I had a Fed-ex order that I placed, packed and invoiced myself to make sure it was done right. I even did the Fed-ex paperwork (on the powership) because it was going to Canada and needed certain documents. The customer was adament that he needed it the next day. Having taken care of EVERYTHING (or so i thought) i left said package in the handy care of the warehouse crew. I placed it right next to the Fed-ex machine at appx. 2pm for a 4pm pick up.
What could go wrong i figured!
Well let me tell ya!! I come in this morning and there is said package in the same fucking place I had left it. To say i freaked out is a slight understatement.
Now to the explanation...
It seems, two feet in front of the shelf with the Fed-ex machine on it is a table. I am now being told that Fed-ex packages go on the table (a fact no one ever decided to share before!) and the "Fed-ex guy" only looks there. My geniuses can't see a fucking big 'ole box with fed-ex stickers all over it two fucking feet away, and Mr. no-fucking-clue-Fed-ex-guy can't spot this package right next to his own fucking machine!!!
Needless to say I, me, the person who tried like hell to save everyone some time and trouble, now has to call said customer and explain the "error.' He was less than receptive and if only for the fact that I could send it for Saturday delivery at our expense (a mere $63 U.S.) he decided to keep purchasing from me.
Anyway, do you fine people work with morons, also, or are you more fortunate than I?

Nex

[Edited by Nexxus on 08-11-2000 at 05:41 PM]

 

[*Eve*]

I think everyone has a few people that they would rather not work with, there not really anyone I could site as being a moron where I work but there are slackers, and there is one women at my job who is just plain nasty. She breaks wind, picks her nose, and digs up her butt and doesn't try to hide it. This week se was walking around with what appeared to be hair gel and I asked her if it were a new look and she said "No, we're fighting lice at my house"

 

[Nexxus]

Okay, do you work in a Farrley (however you spell it) movie?
I am officially grossed out!


Nex

 

[Bonnie Wee Lassie]

I know what you mean about morons at work. But luckily my present job I don't have that problem I get along with everyone. I really sympathize with you though.

Bonnie

 

[RonG]

With apologies to all intelligent Virginians!

I am involved in research activities where I work and occasionally I have to do testing of sample materials in different labs across the US. Well, I had worked for about three months on a project that had a budget of around $1MM and sent 10 boxes (about 1'x1'x2') across the country to have this stuff evaluated. Everything goes out FedEx and I get confirmation of delivery from all locations and everbody gets to work. Well, the Virginia Location loses the box and tells me to bring a duplicate sample with me and fly out to their place from Indiana.

I hop a plane and fly out there. When I arrive, some security work I have to do forces me to fill out some paperwork in the shipping office. And what do I see - my missing $100,000 box being used as a footrest by someone who missed the cut from Deliverance for being too ugly.

At that moment, I lamented that I was not in the explosives business!

 

[Skibum]

Not only did I work with morons, I used to work FOR a moron. This guy expected a twelve man crew to live in a pig sty of a two room camp for 10 days while on an out of town job. We had one shower with a 40 gallon water heater, and there were some flimsy old cots and four hammocks to sleep on. One guy woke up in the morning with mouse shit on his bed.

The boss and his wife stayed in a nice motel.

For the record, I quit after the first nioght.

 

[CreamyLady]

I once worked for an attorney who had been mildly chastised for getting a little too free with the client's money. We were working on an acquisition, and, at the closing in New York, our client had to hand over a $25 million bearer bond.

We prepared the documentation in LA (go figure!), and I assumed that we would be sending the documents by courier. No; Sam decided that that would be way too expensive. I pointed out that it would also be way safe and reliable, to no avail.

He insisted that it go Federal Express. I fought him to the last gasp, but in the end I personally handed it to Fed Ex.

Imagine my horror when I got to work the next morning to find about 100 messages and emails demanding to know the whereabouts of the bond. It sure as hell wasn't in New York.

I grabbed the tracking slip, called Fed Ex, and -- two hours later -- it was found in Albuquerque. They flew it immediately to New York, but the closing didn't take place that day and all the documents had to be done again.

Fortunately, he took the blame -- and the new asshole -- and I was off the hook. But yes, idiots abound. Sometimes they are your employers.

 

[Endlessly]

Ummmmm.. My father is the manager of FedEx here, if that tells you anything. *LOL*

 

[KillerMuffin]

I wuz smart. I joynd th Nayvee!!

I got to work with people who couldn't spell their own names

I got to work with people faced with the choice, jail or navy?

I got to work with people who honestly couldn't decided if they'd rather should show up for work or be restricted to barracks and lost 1/2 pay for 6 months

I got to work with people who thought "Yeah! Well you can't tell me what to do!!!" was a good answer to higher ranked individuals

I got to dress like a convict!

I got to work with marines (I'm still drooling shut up)

I miss the Navy. I WANNNA GO BAAAAAAACKKK!!!!!!!!

PS. As a side note, my husband person thing, the truck driver, regularly pulls FEDEX loads. Interesting huh? He's also pulled US Mail from the postal service. They illegally load trailers, make them overweight pretty regularly.

 

[Thumper]

Morons to the left...morons to the right...

I am a truck driver...I work for a mail contractor...(BTW I have never even come close to being overweight...what the hell kinda mail is he hauling?) Every truckstop I ever stopped at was filled with morons....couldn't sling a dead cat without hitting one(and ya better sling it far so the cook in the restaurant doesn't find it)...How do ya know??? Just count the velcro shoes...

Also worked as a corrections officer...nuff said.

 

[Cheyenne]

For all you math people out there- my favorite story to prove an ex- (thank GOD) VP of Operations was a moron and had NO clue what he was doing:

We have operating locations that are "linked" together- their profit/loss is partially dependent on each other. One is expected to be at about 50% profit margin and one at about 10%. I'm the financial person in this scenario, in case you hadn't already guessed. This VP of Operations looked at me in all seriousness and told me he didn't understand the problem in one instance of underperforming locations, since "if you add the 40% margin at location A with the 5% margin at location B, you get a 45% margin company, and that ain't bad." That was one of the few times in my life that I had no idea even where to begin to explain basic accounting to someone. I was silent and gave him that "deer in the headlights" stare. But I knew at that point that no matter what I did to help this man, he was an idiot and he needed to leave. He finally did leave only a few months later when the Pres realized this guy was in WAY over his head.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Re: Morons to the left...morons to the right...

I am a truck driver...I work for a mail contractor...(BTW I have never even come close to being overweight...what the hell kinda mail is he hauling?) Every truckstop I ever stopped at was filled with morons....couldn't sling a dead cat without hitting one(and ya better sling it far so the cook in the restaurant doesn't find it)...How do ya know??? Just count the velcro shoes...

Also worked as a corrections officer...nuff said.

Well *sheepishly hiding behind the couch* he mmm, was never overweight with the mail. It was the cheese and more recently prune juice... He was rather het up that I'd say such a thing. I've been duly chastised and spanking will later be administered (not to me of course )

I know a guy who works for Prime... he can't haul cheese loads cause he, personally weighs too much. He's so large he can't comfortably get between the seats into the sleeper. They eventually started leasing vn 770, he's getting one just for the swivel seat so he can use his bunk. This is entirely too widespread of a problem. Is this scary or what?

 

[*Eve*]

Okay, do you work in a Farrley (however you spell it) movie?
I am officially grossed out!


Nex

I know it seems farfetched that a grown woman could be so gross but truth, my friend, is stranger than fiction.

[Edited by *Eve* on 08-12-2000 at 09:00 AM]

 

[Sonora]

I'm not sure where to even start

Once I was buying 12 tickets for an event sponsored by my company. The tickets were 50 cents each. The woman I was to pick them up from had to use the calculator to figure out what the cost would be. She never blinked an eye when the total showed up as $5.50!! Don't ask me how she did it. I watched her punch the numbers a couple of times. (Somebody said that it was something to do with how she had her calulator's decimal point set up.) I finally had to tear the tickets apart and add them up for her verbally before she would believe me that they really should cost $6.00.

Our previous boss....don't make me ruin what is looking to be a good weekend! I don't even want to think about how in over his head he was!!

 

[Nexxus]

Whew. It's so nice to know I am in the company of other intelligent souls, trapped at the hands of those, umm, less mentally aware.
Two quick ones. I sell computer hardware and tags. We recently created a clear tag for a large manufacturer of crystal and other high end giftware. The president of the company (and mind you, this man used to be a nuclear engineer) called me from the photography studio because he wanted me to run over some samples of the new clear tag for a photo shoot to be used in the new catalog. After a moment of silence, all i could say was "but they're clear." He said, "oh...i get it, okay. Well we'll put them on some pieces of giftware then and then photograoh them." To which I responded "but they're clear, you still can't see the tag in a photo." He conceded stupidity and promised to go home and take a nap.
When I arrived at my hotel for a recent trade show, i asked the front desk person for a package my company had sent ahead via Fed-ex (there they are again). She looked around and in the back room and said nothing was waiting for me. It was a friday night and I could not get in touch with the office to trace it. This package contained all my hardware for the booth at the trade show. The next morning I checked with the hotel manager who confirmed nothing had arrived. I did the show Saturday and Sunday with no product and no literature just talking to people and getting business cards. monday morning upon leaving the Hotel for the last day of the show, the new receptionist notices my name on my tag and says "oh, i have a Fed-ex box for you." My horror must have registered, because she kind of stepped back and said "is something wrong?" It turns out that the box DID show up on Friday and some (you guessed it) moron from maintanence signed for it down by receiving, but he was leaving for the weekend and never told anyone. Needless to say my next stay was free.


nex

 

[RonG]

Another Math Story

I worked one time at a place that needed to paint a wall. The carpenter figured out with a calculator that the wall was 5000 square feet but he asked me to check his figures. He had it right but I decided to yank his chain anyhow.

Me: Let's see, there is 5280 feet in a mile, right?
Him: Yeah, that sounds right.
Me: Then go to the paint store and ask for a square mile of paint and you should be okay.
Him: Sounds good. That will give me a little extra.

He starts to walk off to his truck to head off to the store when I am forced to stop him. I really wanted to let him go but couldn't do it to him.

 

[Lovely Latina]

LOL @ RonG!

Too funny.

Hey Nex...how cum your package hasn't come yet?

 

[Nexxus]

My "package" is afraid of the hot little hands it will be held by. Good things come to those who wait...great things come to those who whine and carry on!!
Nex