How can I guy regain the trust of the woman he loves?

[jason5313]

Where?

 

[Guest]

First thing is to admit what an ass you have been and apologize.... but remember that she has every right not to want you back and if that is her decision... you must accept it.

 

[jason5313]

Who?

 

[willywanker]

You might try putting your thought and you appoligy down on paper, but be careful. Make a promise you know you can't keep and she has written proof you said it.

But sometimes this does help. You have time to think out what you want to say and the best way to phrase it. You can go back and edit. Try that with a spoken conversation. You get as many chances as you need to get it right. But be honest, no bull shit.

And a card and flowers never hurt either.

 

[Guest]

I would try to charm her a little. First get a card that is applicable. Send her flowers, etc.....and ask her for a date at a (very romantic) restaurant. Write to her from your heart. Trust takes time to regain after being betrayed. You'll have to earn it and let her know you are aware of that concept.

Thats just my humble opinion.

 

[unusuallyconfused]

I would try to charm her a little. First get a card that is applicable. Send her flowers, etc.....and ask her for a date at a (very romantic) restaurant. Write to her from your heart. Trust takes time to regain after being betrayed. You'll have to earn it and let her know you are aware of that concept.

Thats just my humble opinion.

That was me, sorry.

 

[Guest]

Ok..... I have a problem with the card and flowers bit..... most women see that as a suck up present. If she won't talk to you.... I agree with WW... write your feelings down..... mail it.... record your voice on a tape and send it.... have a mutual friend deliver it if they want to be involved..

all else fails... a single rose makes a huge difference... or a single flower....... and if you can sing or play an instrument..... go the serenade route.

If you really love her... don't give up..... but also give her space while doing it. She may need some time to cool down

 

[His Whimsicality]

I´d tell her exactly that (only in direct speech):

I have hurt the woman I love very badly. I have lied to her and basically been a complete JERK. Does anyone have any advice on how to win her back?

 

[Harpoon]

You are forgiven UC

These are all very good suggestions, as long as this was the first time this happenned...Otherwise you could be out of luck

 

[stargazer76]

Okay, being on the receiving end of some lying and betrayal recently, I would have to say that what worked for me was getting a heartfelt letter that spilled what an ass he thought he was and how he realized that I had every right never to speak to him again, but that he hoped I would give us another chance. Most importantly, total honesty is called for. If you're going to bullshit her anymore, don't even bother. Spill everything there is to spill, be sincere, and speak from the heart. And tell her upfront that you'd understand if she never wanted to speak to you again, and if she says that, accept it. That's your only shot. Oh, and willywanker is right, flowers never hurt.

 

[Ezzy]

Ok..... I have a problem with the card and flowers bit..... most women see that as a suck up present. If she won't talk to you.... I agree with WW... write your feelings down..... mail it.... record your voice on a tape and send it.... have a mutual friend deliver it if they want to be involved..

all else fails... a single rose makes a huge difference... or a single flower....... and if you can sing or play an instrument..... go the serenade route.

If you really love her... don't give up..... but also give her space while doing it. She may need some time to cool down

Amen to these thoughts.




EZ

 

[bluntforcemama]

what did you lie about?

 

[Morden]

I have to agree with Jaded here if you lied to her then its up to her to be able to trust you again. IF she has cut you off then give her time. You have to realize that it was your choice to decieve and its your responsibility to face the reprisal of that. If she deosn't want to talk to you and you have tried then you have to wait and see. If she wants to she will come back. If not then I am sorry to say that the rebuilding of trust can be impossible if the person doesn't think they can believe you.

 

[scylis]

*sits back in the shadows whispering to myself*
hmm..
only one post here before this thread..
was a complete jerk...
lied to someone he loves.. someone who was totally besotted with him, perhaps?

ohhh.... i know... bastard..

*jumps out of the shadows*
maybe you should have told her that you're married!! or that you have kids! and it probably might have been a good idea to send her pictures that were actually of you instead of ones of someone else!

 

[Weevil]

My advice is simple. Buy her a BMW. Chicks dig grand gestures and they dig money. Kill two birds with one stone!

 

[Morden]

<sighs and smacks his forhead>

"Got your back on that one Scy."

 

[crystalhunting]

I have hurt the woman I love very badly. I have lied to her and basically been a complete JERK. Does anyone have any advice on how to win her back? Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated, thanks

Are you a complete idiot?...I know the woman that you pulled this CON-JOB on,from what I hear there isnt much THAT YOU DIDN'T LIE ABOUT.

Does the lie about your martial status ring a bell?


You had an oppurtunity and you blew it,she isn't the type to take betrayal,and let it go.

Now you exspect a "I'm sorry" and all will be fine,what idiocy!!

You could have had an intelligent,careing woman,who has more compassion than most,a beautifull woman...on the inside and out.

Admitting your lies and BS doesnt and isnt going to repair the broken trust YOU have perpetuated.

Maybe some woman will minimal self-esteem would accept your BS,but SHE isn't that type.

I suggest you move on in this case....You aren't wanted here.

SHE was crying and hurting because of YOUR actions,and still is....



CH

 

[scylis]

<sighs and smacks his forhead>

"Got your back on that one Scy."

hey there! long time, no see..

 

[Morden]

<grins evilly>

"Been skulking in the shadows and watching. Only come out on special occasion sort of like a Christmas ornament."

 

[willywanker]

Re: Re: How can I guy regain the trust of the woman he loves?

Are you a complete idiot?...I know the woman that you pulled this CON-JOB on,from what I hear there isnt much THAT YOU DIDN'T LIE ABOUT.

Does the lie about your martial status ring a bell?


You had an oppurtunity and you blew it,she isn't the type to take betrayal,and let it go.


CH

Looks like some of use got sucked into posting real thoughts for someone to use on one of our own. Well, I don't know the story or the people involved but I don't enjoy finding out that I'm helping someone out who would hurt a fellow Literotican.

 

[Guest]

I really really really don't want to regret giving advice.....

 

[stargazer76]

YEAH! What Willy said!!!

 

[Guest]

ok.. things are not looking good for you...

You ask for advice... then when things get all shitty and people are accusing you.... you log off...

I really don't want to regret giving you advice... but I think I am starting to...


If you are the person that everyone thinks you are.... and you LIED about all of the things they are saying you lied about.... then I wouldn't want to know you... let alone give you advice.... and I hate to pull a Sparky...

but damn it..... prove that you aren't the asshole that everyone thinks you are....

 

[Starfish]

Jaded, don't give this schmuck a thought !

You didn't know, and either did anyone else, specifcally, aside from CH and the wonderful person he is talking about, to whom you can figure out, quite easily, the identity of, which arouses a lot of anger in me, and in the minds of whom ever is a lit member, and friends with this person.....

and while I am on that subject....

Yes, this is pathetic.

Not knowing the extent of the damage, I should refrain from further comment on the matter, but for a nice big....



[color=dark red]FUCK OFF![/color]

but I won't cause I am pissed.....
.....if you think this tricky way of 'expressing' your supposed feelings. If you even knew what love was, you'd make right of the situation, or try to, with out whining to her friends.

Don't you think for two seconds that this isn't the place to come for advice, if that 'love' is a well respected and loved member here???

You suck.... now bite it Jason whoever you are.....

 

[crystalhunting]

ok.. things are not looking good for you...

You ask for advice... then when things get all shitty and people are accusing you.... you log off...

I really don't want to regret giving you advice... but I think I am starting to...


If you are the person that everyone thinks you are.... and you LIED about all of the things they are saying you lied about.... then I wouldn't want to know you... let alone give you advice.... and I hate to pull a Sparky...

but damn it..... prove that you aren't the asshole that everyone thinks you are....

Jaded,Willy....

This man pulled a total CON-JOB on a certain Literotican,who shall remain nameless at her request.

Lied about his martial status,his kids,and really showed his ass in regards to how he CLAIMED he felt about her.

All this man ever wanted was some pussy,with no responsibility.

Typical asshole behavior.

This man DOESN'T LOVE HER...and never did.

I refuse to help this sorry exscuse for a human being.


and I second,third and fourth Jadedpast idea.

CH