how can i(guy) masturbate to the fullest?

[Guest]

any suggestions to how i can enjoy myself ?
remember, im a guy...

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Have you tried bungee-jumping?

No, seriously, uh, what exactly are you asking? How to jerk off? Why? Are you doing it wrong? Are you using oven mitts, or something? Vaseline instead of lotion? Can't find it for pubic hair? What? Details, details, details...

(Holy God, did I just ask a guy to tell me about his wanking sessions? I gotta get out more.)

 

[Hecate]

must be the old age DCL ...

.. ohhh no - wait a minute - it was your 1000 post lately not your 1000 B-day *g*

 

[Wizard]

Choke that chicken like it has never been choked before.......

 

[Lasher]

Is there anything more annoying than a 14 yr old without adult supervision??

Someone wake me when the children go back to school...

 

[Nicole]

*Poking Lasher*

Oh sorry their not back yet are they??? Go back to sleep.

 

[Bonnie Wee Lassie]

I think I have heard it all now. DCL you make me crack up. And Lasher I know what you mean, When the hell does school start again.

Bonnie

 

[Rosebud]

Choke that chicken like it has never been choked before.......

hey wizzie i found a pic to go with your wordshttp://www.gironet.nl/home/chatter/adu13.gif

 

[Bonnie Wee Lassie]

Great pic rosebud gives a whole new meaning to choke the chicken.

Bonnie

 

[Hecate]

OMG - Rosie ... *ROFL*

.. you are getting better by the minute .. or by the post or whtever is an appropriate unit to count in.

Geeze - I hope you never run out of ressources (and time) to find those little "Make-me smile"ies!!!

 

[Rosebud]

well my dear Hecate, I will just have to find one for you

 

[Hecate]

mmmhh thanks Rosebud *lol* I just wonder if there is something "appropriate" out there for me *lol* but then again you never cease to surprise me so I bet you are up to that too

 

[poohlive]

Well, there is this really great movie, that might help you contrct full orgasm.
You might want to try a vacuum cleaner. Just tell everyone you are cleaning your room. Make sure you actually keep your room clean though, people might know something is up, lol.
"I told you not to bother me, while I am cleaning my room" Duffy- cary movie, an instant classic, lol.
Anyways, I am here for you, were are all in this together, keep your stick on the ice, (red green)

 

[Guest]

Well, I've heard some stories about, let's call them different forms of masturbation. One in particular seemed interesting, if flawed in execution. It involve placing to belt sanders between the cushions of a couch. Replacing the sand paper with lubed latex (unless of course your a friction man), and turning them on after you placed your member between them. It obviously worked because the man that tried this died from electrocution when he blew his wad into the inner workings of both power tools.

The vacuum might not be a good idea, as I've heard emergency room horror stories form nurse friends about dismembered members. They really got sucked off.

And remember, if you use your left hand, it'll feel like someone else is doing it.

 

[Whispersecret]

And all this time I thought that jerking off came naturally to guys.

I guess my sons are prodigies. They're touching themselves all the time, and they're both under seven. Is there a gifted/talented program for early masturbators???

 

[Gingersnap]

This is a joke right? Weren't you the guy here last month that was in jail and wanted the same advice?

 

[Juliangel]

If you find that gifted program let me know. LOL both my boys do it constently. I caught my 7 year old sneaking my Victoria Secrets catalog to his room last month and I finally got my 10 year old not to do it in the livingroom while watching TV.
I told him it was normal and ok, and asked if he had ever seen daddy do it in public before. He said no and I said that's right because when daddy wants to do it he goes to our room and does it in private.
DH freaked out when I told him what I said because he just knows one day our son will say something in public probably in front of his grandparents about how he and daddy both do it in private.
LOL that's fine with me as long as he stops doing it in the livingroom.

 

[Jaywalker274]

try sticking something up your ass like a pen or marker something like that trust me it works!!!!!

 

[Khryswhy]

This'll Work

I was alway embarassed to show/tell this in front of most people before, but, here goes...

When you're jacking off, instead of using your hand, push your cock between your legs. Take your finger(s), and push it between your two legs while they're bent & together. I know it sounds dumb, but it feels alot better than a couple of fingers do.

I know that this sounds dumb, but if you have any questions, please email me. Trust me, it's worth it to do it this way.

 

[FlamingoBlue]

You might try this, but be careful....

1. Get a chair and a long piece of rope.
2. Braid the rope into a hangman's noose and drape it over a strong pipe in the basement.
3. Take off your pants and your underwear and stand up on the chair with the rope around your neck.
4. Think erotic thoughts in order to get an erection.
5. Begin to maturbate, using any method that's comfortable for you.
6. This is the tricky part, so be verrrry careful. Just as you are about to cum, lean forward on the chair so the rope is choking you, just right,and try to bring yourself to an orgasm while the rope is chocking you, but not killing you. Do NOT leave thechair with the rope around your neck!!!


Lots of luck. Be sure to write and tell me how it works out for you.

blue

 

[wolfy]

This might seem basic but take your time. I've always rushed
and just realized recently that it could be way more enjoyable if i went slow. It always seemed to me like
i wasn't enjoying it as much or that i might get unhard
if I kept going at a slow pace but it keeps building up and
eventually just feels incredible. Hope this helps