how be more than a friend

[Guest]

Hi there, I am 23, male and currently a student. I have many female friends ranging from late teens to early 30s, a lot who say I am their best friend.

I always seem to be the one they turn to with their problems, to confide in or the one they come just to talk things over and though I do feel honoured to be in this possition it would be nice occasionally to be considered for more.

I am aware that I am not an attractive person but I dont think I am repulsive either. I was wondering if anyone had any advice which wouldnt make my friendship or company seem to be on the condition i get to sleep with them.

thanks

 

[Jack Talk Thai]

On the condition you get to sleep with them...? Well, I hope that's not the only reason you're offering friendship...that's pretty shallow, but you sound more intelligent than that. I think I get what you were trying to say.

Dude, I have a lot of female friends as well--I don't like males too much. I don't relate to a lot of the things we as men are "supposed" to do. I suspect that's why these girls are drawn to you--you actually LISTEN. You offer solutions, which PROVE you were listening. Also you gotta take into account the fact that you weren't immediately trying to fuck them. Girls dig that, and even if you start out as "just a friend" thee's no telling where it could go.

I would say don't change a thing. Be the Nice Guy you're being now, and I guess ooner or later you'll be appreciated. The only reason I know thi i because I'm tld by EVERYONE that it happens all the time. I, personally, have yet to see evidence--but you're not me, and I'm almost certain you can Make It Happen when the right one comes along.

I toast my Heineken to you, and I wish you success in your endeavors.

Salut.

 

[Jack Talk Thai]

And dude, forgive me--

I just re-read the last part of your post, and I misunderstood you before. My apologies.

It's 4:20.

 

[Mischka]

First, narrow your romantic intentions down to one or two of this myriad of female friends of yours. Then look for physical clues of mutual interest. Does she intentionally touch you - hugs, pats on the arm, etc.? Does she lean in when she talks to you, or cross her legs towards you? If you notice any body language that suggests she is more than simply comfortable around you, then you have a shot.

But in the end, you're just going to have to take a chance. (Not changing a thing hasn't helped so far - so you need to do something about it!) Talk to her, and let her know that you are interested in her as more than a friend. If she seems interested, take it slowly and really woo her - formal dates, flowers, etc. (differentiate your "buddy" self from what you hope to be your "boyfriend" self). But also realize that she may not think of you in that light, and the friendship may be lost. It's a gamble, but it's paid off for many people so far.

Good luck!

Mischka